By that point, belief in the five earliest dualities is in place. Eventually, those persons who were programmed and conditioned with dualistic teachings as children become obsessive adults, behaving compulsively in their efforts to do all required to always hear “Yes” and to never hear “No”; fanatical in their efforts to have all of their desires met while wanting to avoid all that they fear; and fixated in their efforts to accumulate all that they “want” and to avoid everything that they “don’t want.”
All of that dualistic programming generates a belief in personas as identities, so personality disorders inevitability follow. The billions of (non-Realized) persons on the planet seldom move beyond body identification—which is the most extreme degree of separation from Reality. It is also an identity that will guarantee the perpetuation of “The Child” ego-state (along with misery and suffering as well).
During a session last summer, one such person who was trapped in the body level of identification revealed that he had engaged in over 300 extramarital affairs during his marriage. Most involved pay-for-sex type arrangements but many involved women who thought he cared and that he was available...only to be rejected in short order.
His Addictive Personality Disorder revealed itself through drug use, alcohol abuse, and an addiction to sex and "love," but his most basic identity amounted to “I am my body.” Driving his conduct, however, was also a “mind” and multiple personas.
His Addictive Personality Disorder revealed itself through drug use, alcohol abuse, and an addiction to sex and "love," but his most basic identity amounted to “I am my body.” Driving his conduct, however, was also a “mind” and multiple personas.
Therefore, the male sex drive, the effects of his nucleus accumbens, and the archetypal motivation for him to scatter seeds aside, far more was at play with that man’s conduct. Only a few questions were required to reveal "The Child" motives that were at play in his “play.”
He reported the following: after his father disappeared, he was rejected by his mother who gave him to his grandmother; a short time later, his grandmother rejected him and gave him over to the state. His childhood desire was to hear his mother say “Yes” instead of “No”; to hear his grandmother say “Yes” rather than “No”; to alleviate his fear of further rejection; and to get what he “wanted” and to avoid what he did “not want.”
As a child who was wanted by no one, he felt a sense of “loss.” His thought-life was one that said, “You are not good enough; you will never be good enough; therefore, you will never have enough…of anything.” Behind those kinds of beliefs, excess will always be assigned great value.
His desire was to be accepted by two women during his childhood years, but since he was not, he was driven during his adulthood years to hear as many women say “Yes” as possible; to hear as many women as possible say “You are good”; to have women fulfill his self-ish desires; to use women in his effort to negate his fear of being rejected by supposedly being “accepted” time and time again (as if paying someone for something could even remotely mean that they "accept you").
His rationalized claim that “I just really love women” was eventually shown to be nothing more than deception and self-deception. He was shown that he actually hated women and that the repetition compulsion was in full bloom and manifesting through his childish conduct. He was eventually shown that he was doing to as many women as possible what the first two women in his life had done to him: he “had” them, and then he rejected them.
His was a selfish mission of revenge on one hand and a self-centered mission of seeking the acceptance he never had as a child on the other hand. In the process, he had also rejected his wife, yet he was egotistical enough to be angry and delusional enough to think that his wife had rejected him. In his 30’s, his behavior was that of an early teen at best, driven by the dualistic beliefs of a five to seven-year old.
When dominated by the earliest childhood “memories,” childish behavior follows, no matter the age of the person involved. The result is that most persons never reject the “Child” persona and burden their relative existence with an effort to convince “self” and “others” that they are good. The result is a person totally self-absorbed, self-obsessed, and self-centered. Part of the treatment is to begin by rejecting the concepts of “self” and “others.”
Such narcissism as displayed by that male is typical among the non-Realized. Having no clue as to what the True Self is, they are driven by a collection of false selves to accumulate more…and more…and more. Further, that male really thought that he was “happy” and “free,” doing what he wanted and getting what he wanted and enjoying what he got.
He had no clue at all that when co-dependent, as he was, then there can be no independence. In the absence of independence, who that is not free could really be happy? The truly happy are relaxed. Being “relaxed” was the farthest thing from his condition.
So what about you? Are you relaxed, or are you on a mission? If you are not relaxed or if you are on a mission, find WHO is not relaxed. Find WHO is involved is relentless seeking.
Quests are exhausting. To know that You already Are That Which You seek can begin the process of being free of doingness and thereafter relaxing in the lightness of being. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
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