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Maybe the drop has dissolved into the ocean, but has the ocean yet rushed into the drop? If so, then the next question must be: after the drop dissolved into the ocean and after the ocean rushed into the drop, did both the ocean and the drop eventually dissolve as well?
THE IMPURITY OF FOLLOWING THE “I AM” WITH ANY WORD, Part C
[You may review the
FROM A SITE VISITOR: [Received yesterday] Reading your writings, I’m finally understanding my mom’s behavior to some degree. She is in her late sixties, dating a man with a history of abusing women. She admires him because he is a preacher, even though he recently put her in the hospital. Now, she has gone back to him. I looked at what you’ve written about personality and see she’s a type two who thinks she HAS to be in a relationship – has always been searching for love.. Then I look at what you said today [
F.: One of your references is evidently to the pointer offered yesterday that most of the non-Realized believe “…it is worth putting up with such fluctuations and tolerating pain in order to have some pleasure.” Your mother’s behavior illustrates the pointer exactly. Driven by personality, she will tolerate a hundred pounds of pain to receive an ounce of pleasure. That is common among the non-Realized, in fact, typical. Many will conclude that she is insane, but what she is doing is more likely the result of personality and its subsequent personality disorders. You have provided site visitors with a concrete example of the way that these “supposedly theoretical” teachings really do reflect what is happening in the relative when personality is directing the play. Now, the discussion of the concept of “patience” that began on Wednesday will continue, even as the e-mail above also provides a pointer about patience as well, the woman being quite patient with her abusive partner.
If you claim “I am patient,” you will be impatient at times as well. Why? Because a person (meaning one with a belief in a “personal I”) is guaranteed to be in a constant state of flux.
When one is in a constant state of flux and also claiming that she/he is patient, then impatience will be guaranteed to follow. As noted in other postings, to be patient is to be waiting, and to be waiting is to be wanting or expecting; and to be wanting or expecting will trigger periods of being impatient.
The concept of “being patient” also results in ignoring the only “real time” there is (NOW) and causes non-Realized persons to give credibility to the illusory “future.” As a result, no peace or contentment can happen. Consider this specific example:
During a seminar with employees of a business that uses enneagram results for hiring and for development of staff, it was seen that seven of the employees were Personality Type Threes.
Threes focus on success and achievement, historically ignoring the now and concentrating instead on their long-range financial goals, which they can always express in exact, concrete amounts of currency.
When asked about the amount, a Three will not require so much as a second for contemplation since they have already determined the exact amount of money that, once accumulated, will be evidence of having achieved “success” in their “minds.”
When each Three was told, “Your type always has a specific dollar amount in mind, an amount that you believe will indicate you are a success and which will allow you to finally enjoy your life. What is your amount”?
Without a second’s hesitation, the numbers came: “$1,000,000; $10,000,000; $12,000,000; $50,000,000; $100,000,000; $500,000,000; and $900,000,000." (The latter explained, proudly touting his humility, that "only arrogant people would say they have to be 'a billionaire' to be happy." Yes, that is an example of distortion, sleepwalking, delusion, and many other factors that mark the relative existence of persons.) When asked about the odds of ever accumulating such sums, they all spoke of “being patient” and of “persevering” (though Three’s are one of the least patient of the nine basic personas).
Interestingly, nearly three years ago, the man who cited “$12,000,000” as his magic number had reported that $1,000,000 was the goal. When asked about the change, he said that he “was getting close to a million and that he always raises his goals and sets new ones if he is about to reach an old goal.”
Do you see the trap among those assuming the ego-state of “The Super Achiever” and among other persons with the same thought-life, claiming “patience” and “perseverance” until they reach their goal someday?
First, they are removed from living in the now. Secondly, if they achieve their goal, then their identity of “The Achiever” would end since there would be nothing more to achieve, so their goals and magic number must always be a moving target…always being moved out of reach.
Note the Catch-22: if they are to sustain the false identity of “The Achiever” or “The Performer,” they must never achieve their goals. The most that can happen in this scenario is they “get close to” a goal. In the process, therefore, they guarantee that they will never experience a sense of fulfillment.
Their “patience,” which drives them to keep plugging away day in and day out (and to keep waiting for their goals to be met someday with their belief that “all good things come to those who wait”) assures that they will always feel the frustration of unmet desires; of unreachable goals and expectations; of a constantly-increasing sense of self-worth and an overly-inflated value of self; and the subsequent arrogance that shows up often with that type.
Another contradiction with that paradigm is that freedom becomes dependent. Its manifestation depends on giving up any and all concepts, including the ones that some cultures teach are the “good” ones (such as “patience”) because they are a setup for duality—which is, in turn, a setup for feeling empty, incomplete or confused.
To accept the concept of patience as truth is to suggest that there is someone who can be patient. For every “asset” that persons assume, they reinforce a sense of separation; they believe they recognize the opposing "liability" in others; and that bolsters a sense of better-than-ness.
It’s all duality, and all duality is false. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
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