Wednesday, October 21, 2015

MAHARAJ: “There’s No Such Thing As Peace of Mind,” Part PP

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Today's Considerations

Certain excerpts from the book “There’s No Such Thing As Peace of Mind” (There Is Only Peace If You Are Out Of Your Mind) are being shared as this series focuses on the mind and why the information stored therein – including false personality identifications – is the root cause and perpetrator of the Ultimate Sickness.   

Today, some excerpts from Chapter’s 12 and 13 (entitled "MIND and PERSONALITY: What Cultures Consider Assets Are Actually Liabilities") shall be shared:

See that almost all persons are totally out of touch with reality, are living as if actors on a stage, and are playing their fake roles without any clue that they are fakes. They truly believe that their roles define who they are, and that’s why those trapped in personality identification will be seen by any objective witness to be insane and totally out of touch with reality.

The mind is formed first during the process of programming, conditioning, etc. and then it is soon pumped full of false identifications (the hidden agendas of which will unconsciously determine every thought that is thought, every word that is spoken, and every action that is taken).

Children developed a set of tools during their early years to use to address one specific set of circumstances. The folly is that they continue to use that same set of tools (their personality and the behaviors that are driven by their personality) in every situation that arises throughout adulthood.

Therefore, the earlier points that “persona-playing will lead persons to personality disorders” and that "adults behave in childish ways" should now be understood. What remains to be understood is what those “bizarre circumstances” are that drive children to develop a specific personality and to behave in the ways that are unique to that personality type.

(Note: the egotism of most parents will inspire them to reject any consideration that they created a bizarre environment for their children to be raised in, and the egotism of most children will reject the same consideration. The tendency among persons is to “upgrade” their childhood circumstances (as is the case with the ego-driven comment that “My parents were great!”); or to “normalize” their circumstances, no matter how many elephants in the kitchen are being ignored; or to "minimize" the impact of their not-so-great-after-all childhood circumstances ("Well, they did the best they could.")

So does the term "bizarre circumstances" include sexual abuse and therefore not apply to the majority who believe they were "pretty darn good parents" or that they had "pretty darn good parents"? No, as bizarre as sexual abuse is, that is not the bizarre environment that the majority of persons grew up in; however, most children do suffer from physical, mental and emotional abuse as well as abnormal parent-child relations.

The most common “bizarre circumstances” that force children to develop personalities for coping with an abnormal environment include families that are overly-restrictive and that impose rigid, puritanical demands; families that offer only conditional love or none at all; families that are overly-indulgent in child-rearing or who create dual imaging (public vs. private) so that family secrets are kept behind closed doors; and families in which neither parent understands their children or in which abandonment issues are fostered.

Also included are families which generate in children a sense of threat or fear more often than they provide a sense of security and well-being; families in which a parent is anal-retentive and overly-critical; families in which one or both parents engage in contests for control with the children, contests which the children often win; and families that spoil the children so badly that as adults those children have no drive or motivation, develop a sense of entitlement, and thus expect to be taken care of by others. These are the most prevalent types of environments that are not healthy and that are bizarre in terms of parent-child relations. Those are the environments that inspire children to develop coping skills / personality in order to deal with abnormal circumstances.

Therefore, each of the nine basic Personality Types One through Nine - identified by the enneagram personality testing and analysis which are offered - developed certain traits and behaviors in childhood that “worked” to some degree in those early, unhealthy parent-child relations but that become major obstacles when applied to adult-aged relations (which are most typically marred with the playing of “The Child role” or “The Parent role” in the absence of “Adult”-appropriate conduct). 

Here are the abnormal home conditions that inspire the formation of the various personality types and that set children on a destructive course, relatively-speaking, as they apply their childhood strategies to adult-age circumstances (meaning, as they unconsciously allow personality to dictate the ways that they think, talk, emote, and behave):

Often, Type Ones as children were trying to cope with a rigid, judgmental environment in which parents set forth unreasonably excessive moral and ethical demands and expectations, especially involving religious restrictions. Ones become reformers or perfectionists, can become highly self-critical if they don’t adhere as adults to the parental expectations that were set forth during childhood, can become judgmental, and will often label others as being “bad” or “evil.”

Often, Type Twos as children were trying to cope with an environment in which parents were emotionally unavailable, were offering only a conditional version of love, or wherein a parent (often the father) was in absentia, physically or otherwise. They can spend their entire adulthood is a search for love and will give away far too much in the quest.

Often, Type Threes as children were reacting to an especially indulgent parent (often to the mother). Sometimes, an abusive male parent was present, and the hiding of family secrets set the stage for manufacturing the images that were shown outside the home (which were quite different from the abusive reality that existed inside the home). The stage was set for creating and maintaining positive images while living darker lives behind closed doors. Threes, therefore, can experience a sense of incongruity since their "positive" outside image never matches their "negative" inside reality. Adult Threes can be charming in public venues but can be sadistic behind the closed doors of an office, a home, etc. They become charismatic performers and achievers in public but that is fakery. They usually become vicious as they competitively strive to outdo or even crush all others who do not please them, and they will use a vile tongue to try to diminish the objects of their anger.

Often Type Fours as children were trying to cope with a fear of abandonment and being misunderstood by parents and being raised in an environment which inspired rebellious (their rebellion often passive or hidden at first). An internal, fantasy-driven inner life often developed. They become the romantics who are the most likely to engage in the “search for Self,” but that often leaves them remote and distant. Fours who do not find Self can eventually isolate; Fours that do find Self can enjoy the solitude without becoming isolationists. They make up only about 1/2 of 1% of the planet's population.

Often, Type Fives as children were trying to cope with a hostile environment wherein their parents generated a sense of threat more often than a sense of security. Some Fives also had an early experience with death. Obsessing over what many take to be “the morbid” can dominate their thoughts and conduct.

Often, Type Sixes as children were trying to cope with a perceived need to develop a relationship with an authority figure (often a male) in order to feel secure. They will spend a lifetime seeking security and following the orders of their political or religious or spiritual leaders (usually males) no matter the degree of nonsense or self-contradiction expounded by those leaders. Fifty percent of all people are Sixes (who often show the personality traits of Type Threes. The planet, therefore, is dominated by those showing Type Three-Six traits.) Sixes, during adulthood, can be dominated by fear and a search for security, which explains their blind loyalty to political and religious leaders whom they think can protect them, both now and “forevermore.”
  
Often, Type Sevens as children were trying to cope with a rigid or emotionally-unavailable or demanding parent (more often the mother). Sevens sense, rightly or wrongly, that the inflexible parent is never totally pleased with them or that the parent is never willing to fully accept their uniqueness. (That is generally a result of the fact that the mothers of many Sevens were either facing their own challenges at the time the Seven was a child; or had an attachment disorder; or were over-stressed because of circumstances but lacked the coping skills to deal effectively with those circumstances; or were preoccupied with their own agenda and interests.) Sevens as children become dedicated to trying to lighten the mood of the overly-serious parent. As a result, Seven’s end up on a life-long quest to have fun and escape restrictions (such as those imposed by a rule-loving parent). Later, however, they also become hesitant to make commitments in their own adult relations, preferring to keep many options open instead.

Often, Type Eights as children were trying to cope with a mother in a battle for control. Typically, the Eights succeeded in getting their way as a child and they expect to always get their way throughout their adult years as well. They usually become domineering and controlling and often want both earthly and “heavenly” power in order to have all of the power necessary in order to try to control everything and everyone.

Often, Type Nines as children were dealing with excessively supportive or indulgent parents, so as adults they have a sense of entitlement that makes work unattractive and creates an expectation that others should take care of them. Nines can become quite lazy and can use passive-aggressive methods to manipulate others to care for them.

(NOTE: It has been asked in the past, “If childhood and family conditions have such an influence on determining personality type, why do siblings so often have different personality types?” The answer is, “Because no two brothers or sisters are raised by the ‘same’ parents or in the ‘same’ family.” Meaning? Meaning that parents are in a state of flux and families are in a state of flux. The dynamics are never the same for any two children, though they might be members of the 'same' family, since economic cycles rise and fall, since the parents’ relationship ebbs and wanes, and since the addition of each child affects the character of the family unit.)

Thus, the most common personality defects (as revealed above) which mar the relative existence include the following: self-absorption; judgmentalism; giving, but only in order to receive even more in return; viciousness; being overly-competitive; being phony; being aloof; being unavailable; being morbid; being fear-based and insecure; being blindly loyal; being an escapist; being a control freak; being demanding; and being lazy. Those are the typical products of the basic personality types.

Add the defects that appear when persons adopt another twenty or thirty ego-states ("spouse," "employee," "lover," "homeowner," etc.) and the fallout from personality becomes overwhelming, throwing the entire planet into chaos. Some have asked: “What about those who are ‘healthy’ and behave ‘well’”? The answer is simple:

The very worst of each personality type in evidenced when persons are stressed, overly-pious, or making money off their phony role-playing. How many on the planet are not either stressed, overly-pious, or receiving income for playing their roles? Thus the relative negatives are prevalent—relatively speaking—and dominate the “human (persona) experience.”

Do you understand the role that the warped mind plays as it generates warped personalities as a result of growing up in warped environments? Are you seeing why adults perform so poorly in trying to create healthy relations during their relative existence? Are you seeing why most adults behave childishly and why, short of Full Realization, they will never be able to choose to behave differently . . . driven as they are by their childhood tool set? Are you seeing how childhood programming and conditioning etc. prevent adults from making sound, sane, and independent choices?

The more significant Advaita pointer is this: when strategies (a) originated in the mind of a child who was trying to cope with abnormal circumstances and when those strategies (b) produced a specific personality and when (c) those childhood strategies are still driving abnormal and subconscious behavior years later, then those are strategies which actually should play no part at all in the relative-existence lives of adults. For freedom to happen, the warped “mind” that generated personality during childhood must be dissolved and the personality (and its persona-driven behaviors) must be discarded.
 
To be continued.

Please enter the silence of contemplation.

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