Sunday, August 07, 2016

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[The post intended for today will be posted tomorrow so that this can be shared:]

Received from a site visitor in Mexico: “Thank you so much for blog. I try many years to follow your advice -- focus on myself change myself, but I also see now truth about what you say about relationship problems. They never caused by only one of the people. I always have made excuse for husband and to our children about their father. He work hard. He busy. He under lot of pressure. Whatever. I also let him for years blame me for all troubles.

But I read what you wrote about OCD and fanaticism then research that and see now he has most traits and is total fanatic in so many ways. I have gone to counselor over the years and helped but when I ask him to also do that he become very angry. He say he has no time to do that, but he find time to do what he want.

I do not know if I stay with him much longer he worse every day. My children saying let’s leave. I do not know what is going to happen but thank you for seeing more my problems but also understand some of his and finally know it not all my fault. Thank you. Love, Delia.

[To review: It has been seen that the source of all relative problems involve fanaticism (which is linked to the agendas of personality identifications); higher-than-ever levels of the Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (which is linked to chemical imbalances in the elemental plant food body as well as to personality); and humanity’s tendency to take what could be simple and make it complex and complicated.]

The reply:

Greetings Delia. I am sorry to hear of the circumstances and send best regards as you address what needs to be addressed.

Your letter provides another opportunity to understand better the real effects (relatively speaking) of personality and personality disorders, especially OCD which is so pervasive nowadays all around the globe and which is driving much of the fanatical behavior we are seeing.

The actual effects can result in a person either (a) being fanatically absorbed in something else which becomes an object of near-constant focus or (b) being fanatically absorbed in something which centers the focus on self (or "Self"). Either way, the result is that persons in relationships with fanatics are going to be ignored. Consider the following in regards to those two types:

TYPE ONE FANATICS: Those fanatically absorbed in something else - in something external - which becomes an object of near-constant focus

Some examples seen here over the years: This might include some being a fanatic about politics; about religion; about fishing during both warm and cold seasons and hunting during cold seasons; about attending “happy hour” daily and drinking; about attending meetings daily to stop drinking, etc., etc., etc.

Many spouses have said over the years how happy they are when they hear that the “problem drinker” in their family is “going to get some help and finally start being here for us,” but what actually happens most often is that the family which was being ignored when a partner or spouse was out drinking is now being ignored just as much as the partner or spouse is out working on her or his “recovery program and spiritual fitness.” What is really behind all of that? One or more of the three main types of Attachment Personality Disorder. Persons with that disorder cannot be available for others (and cannot even be available for themselves).

TYPE TWO FANATICS: Those fanatically absorbed in something which centers their focus on self / "Self"

Examples of this type include many so-called “Seekers” (who are soon self-elevated to the role of “The Super Seekers”). They might be the type to leave at least one weekend a month to attend a Spiritual Retreat or a Step Study Retreat or to schedule regular visits to an ashram or to visit so-called “holy sites” around the globe. 

They might come home from work and instead of visiting with the family or reading with their children or helping out with their homework or with meal preparation or cleanup, they eat and then retreat to their private room or home office to – as one man in the U.K. with OCD does – listen to taped talks of Big Name Teachers for several hours each night. In his case, his fanaticism and OCD have driven him to ignore his wife and children for twenty years, (just as he did when he was out in bars every night in the old days).

And more often than not, both of those types and their behaviors show up in every fanatic, just as – more often than not – the assumption of multiple personality identifications results in persons usually having multiple personality disorders, not just one. 

(Some people in the addiction treatment industry speak of “dual diagnosis” when referring to clients who have two separate mental illnesses or disorders, claiming that each illness needs its own treatment plan. If the number of disorders which most addicts have were limited to only two, then their existence comparatively would be a piece of cake, but most who have been tested here over the years have 5-7 disorders which are manifesting at very high levels; unfortunately, the same numbers often apply to almost everyone around the globe.)

In both TYPE ONE FANATICS and TYPE TWO FANATICS, the bottom line is they are so driven and so preoccupied and so lost in the thoughts which are being generated in their forever-restless minds and so distant and engrossed that it does not matter if they are absorbed in something outside themselves or if they are self-absorbed. What remains is the fact that their fanaticism will guarantee that they will "escape" mentally and emotionally and physically and will be unavailable for their families and friends.

If one were to see clearly the actual results of personality and its effects, then it would become glaringly obvious why the sages for ages have warned seekers so often of the consequences of personality assumption and why the sages have extended to seekers the invitation to take the steps necessary to be free of all body and mind and personality identifications.

To be continued.

Please enter into the silence of contemplation.

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