[We will return to the meditations being posted, but we pause again today to allow the forum to function. The following message was received recently from Richard in Kalamazoo MI, USA who began in May to consider the pointers in the postings on this site. He subsequently gave permission for us to share his comments]
Richard: As I sit in a cemetery and observe all the foolishness of acreage wasted on the illusions of body, I am reminded of a mind/body that my false sense of self called "wife." Her body quit functioning a year and a half ago. At that time, I knew what was left behind but had a magical belief about where "she" was now. Yet, her dogs knew. I thought they would lie beside her and mourn; instead, they took one sniff, realized what was not there, and ignored the body from that point on. At the funeral planning, I took no part in the where on this planet her remains would be deposited. Yes, even at that time I knew it didn't matter, but it was important to her daughter that she be placed next to a “father” in Iowa, 1000 miles away. I hadn't the energy to debate, so I paid for it. I have yet to visit that site, and may or may not. As "husband" refused to die, the self became depressed and lethargic to the point of spending each day prone on the couch, trying to quiet the restless scanning of the mind. Two months at a trauma recovery center helped to the degree that I was again a "functioning human being.” This teaching came just in time. "Spiritual man" was in line for another roller coaster ride, totally unaware that he didn't even exist. Now, I observe my friends who all have a strong sense of mind identity and spirit identity and who speak and behave from that point. I am experiencing a feeling of peace, and yet aloneness here and now. Duality seems to be magnified, as I seem to be alone in this [advaita] "journey." I am seeing the false in their monologues and—no longer being a "spiritual guru"—I have little or nothing to say when it comes my turn to speak. I have not thought of the mind/body Diane in weeks now, and upon realization of this, I felt a twinge of guilt, for what the mind made up was that I was not honoring her memory. Advaita "Meditation Part Three" [August 30th posting] and "Meditation Part Four" [August 31st posting] came online within days and my resistance to new ideas dropped. I no longer am "spiritual guru." I read the postings and just sat in contemplation. I have found that I had tried to hold onto "their" old ideas but the result was nil. Today, an "old idea" I define as one I held prior to "now." A promise was made to me in a 12-step program, which has only come true with the Advaitic teaching. I have ceased fighting. Thx, Rich
F.: You mirrored a portion of my sleepwalking experiences exactly. Formerly, I was a "husband" who also "lost" wife. From that ego-state, I, too, felt that the greater the degree of pain and misery that I could display, the greater I would be demonstrating the degree of love I had and the degree of hurt that I was suffering. Some advised me to love her forever. Others advised that I should be true to my inner emotions and hate her forever. The Advaita understanding provided a third alternative: complete the Advaita "journey" to realization and a position of neutrality will manifest. So it has...and can with all who follow the path to the end. Next, you describe accompanying sensations as former identities are dissolving. As old identities that seemed to create a sense of oneness fade away, a new opportunity is presented: the opportunity to know the True Oneness and allow the peace of that sense of At-one-ment to replace any past notion of oneness that is now seen to have been an illusion, based in the false personas being played out in a group. The members are playing their roles and repeating their dialogue according to script, and now you have the opportunity to witness that without judgment or attachment or reaction. Finally, if you read “Meditation Part Eight” [September 4th], any remorse over a newly-felt sense of "aloneness" might fade. Emotional intoxication is based in illusory personas, but feelings can be witnessed as they rise and fall. To repress feelings is as unhealthy in the relative existence as experiencing emotional intoxication. Now, to the reference to feeling the “aloneness.” The requirement to walk the path alone for a time should be clear. Why? Because most persons will never walk the path. To wait for others to join you for a walk together will likely prevent any journey from ever beginning. Feel whatever is felt until the sense of aloneness evolves into a sense of al-one-ness. Feel what must be felt and witness what must be witnessed until the last illusion-generated concept disappears. At that instant, emotional intoxication shall also disappear, never to return again, and the accompanying sense of peace will be...enough. Thx for writing. Please enter the silence of contemplation.
