Thursday, April 30, 2015


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33. [To continue with pointers from yesterday, excerpted from the eBook "Your Original Nature]

This point was offered yesterday:

"If you would come to Me, you must come to Me as a child."

In that regard, Maharaj offered this: "An infant knows its body, but not body-based distinctions." [Concern with body-based distinctions which inspire such comments as "his or her body looks like that but my body only looks like this, dammit" is a thought which can only come after a child has been acculturated and conditioned.] 

By contrast, a pre-programming, pre-conditioning, pre-domesticating, pre-acculturating, pre-brainwashing, pre-indoctrinating child - if fed and dry and healthy - is (Maharaj said) only "conscious and happy."

[Recall the little girl yesterday and see that she was "conscious and happy" while enjoying something totally natural.]

Maharaj: "After all, that was the 'purpose' for which it was born. The pleasure to be is the simplest form of self-love, which later grows into Love of the Self" [until even that Love is abandoned]. 

Then, because Real Love is "knowing that I am everything," then the Love of "This Self" support Love of "That Self," that is, of All. That, in turn, fosters an awareness of "All Selves" and "All Things" and "All Happenings" (that is, all that is happening in one's surroundings, in "others'" surroundings, all over the planet, etc., a.k.a., "being in tune with and aware of the Oneness"). The noisy woman mentioned yesterday, having no clue at all about the Oneness, sees no one except her self, her selves, and is totally absorbed in what those selves want (what any "others" might enjoy be damned).

Maharaj described what abidance as the Child No-Knowing State can look like throughout a post-Realization manifestation when he suggested: "Be like an infant with nothing standing between the body and the Self. [Then], the constant noise of the psychic life is absent. In deep silence, the Self contemplates the body. It is like the white paper on which nothing is written yet. Be like that infant, instead of trying to be 'this' or 'that'; be happy to be. [Then], You will be a fully-awakened witness of the field of consciousness." 

This consideration was also offered yesterday: 

How about you? How are you "coming"? As a child? As an adult modeling for a child an appreciation of things natural, for a child that is yet capable of experiencing wonderment and joy? As an adult inviting persons to return to that earlier state as a child when there was the capacity to experience wonderment and joy? Or as a bastardized speck of consciousness, manifested in a loud, noisy, silence-loathing, silence-wrecking adult-body-cum-consciousness.

A trait of the ego is that it must talk and must be loud and noisy, attached as it is to "the constant noise of the psychic life" (or, to use a truly nonsensical term, to one's "thought life"). Whereas seekers that come this way are seeking relief from the endless chatter of a thousand monkeys that is going on in their "minds," those trapped in egotism-supported-ego-states love self and love self-generated noise. 

The more noise that their ego-filled "minds" can make, the more their egos are reassured that they are real (and the more they are also able to convince other sleepwalkers that the talkers' assumed egos are real).

All of the ego-defense mechanisms that are triggered after the assignment or adoption of an ego-state as an identity can function silently as thoughts that reassure the ego it is real or as thoughts that take the negative facts about the persona - relatively speaking - and "spin" those negatives into positives; then, those ego-defense mechanisms will verbalized their belief that their egos are real; thus, ego-states and ego-defense mechanisms will always operate in the realm of duality and will insure . . .

(a) that persons will move through the relative existence while being totally asleep but convinced that they are totally awake;

(b) that persons will therefore be occupied and preoccupied with self only, eliminating any possibility for them to experience the "primordial cooperation" that marked Our Original Nature and which, in turn, generated the original sense of collaboration along with compassion, empathy, caring, and respect for the silence and respect for another's environment; and

(c) that persons, driven by the properties of their egos / personalities, will prefer talking and making noise, will abhor the silence, and will have no respect for anyone's right to enjoy the quiet and the silence.

Thus, those are the circumstances of the woman yesterday who was not awake, was not aware, and was not conscious of anything other than her self and who was only able to focus on herself (her self) and her child (which she takes as an extension of her self); and

who was driven to make noise and to talk loudly, and who was rendered so sightless, so blind, that she could not see at all another child that was standing within a few feet of her.

So asleep was she - that is, so absorbed in that dream world which she alone inhabits - that . . .

. . . she cannot see that a quiet event is being enjoyed; that . . . 

. . . she cannot respect the silence and the quietness; that . . .

. . . she cannot care about anyone else in her surroundings; and that . . .

. . . she cannot know the original, primordial cooperation which originally inspired a sense of collaboration along with compassion, empathy, caring, respect for the silence, and respect for the environments of all "others."

Consider this pointer shared earlier regarding noise and talk:

When intelligence agencies or law enforcement officers who are trying to “break down” resistant prisoners, they often expose them to (that is, torture them with) loud noises and sounds; yet how many persons realize that noise and sound are the bars that keep them imprisoned?

In the prison of personality, belief in the illusion of personas cannot exist without the use of words and noise to generate a role and to try to maintain a role and to try to convince others to believe that a role is real. (Of course roles never manifest singularly—they always come by the dozens or in scores.)

If persons are not free of the love of talking, then they are prisoners; if persons cannot tolerate the silence because of the racket between their ears, they are prisoners; and if persons have not been freed of their culture’s penchant for words, words, and more words, then they are prisoners. And prisoners in the realm of the non-Realized also imprison all among the non-Realized masses whom they come into contact with throughout their relative existence.

To be continued.

Please enter the silence of contemplation.

[You may access all of the posts in this series by clicking on "March (23)" below]

Wednesday, April 29, 2015


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32. [More than one has asked, "Hey, where are my daily postings?!" I was working out of state this past weekend when storms blew down trees and power lines which blocked the roads used to return home and thus delayed the return trip. Will provide today all of the postings intended for the previous days. Thx, f.]

Pointers in the eBooks The Relative Results of Returning to "The Child Ignorance Stage" or "The Child No-Knowing State" and "Your Original Nature" reveal that if a seeker were to complete only four of the seven steps on the path to Realization, a significant shift in the way that the relative existence unfolds could still happen.

A Cherokee grandmother has been used as a "case study" of what abiding as THAT can look like if abidance happens as a "No-Knowing Child." Here's another "case":

An event that occurred in the area here illustrates what the shift might look like, and what that childlike condition can offer, and what the relative existence is going to be like if that shift does not happen.

An Advaitin pointer that has been offered for years includes this message to seekers from gurus: "If you would come to Me, you must come to Me as a child," a pointer that the following event will reinforce.

As those in the region classified as "the southern hemisphere" are seeing their spring give way to the fall and winter seasons, those in areas located in what is called "the northern hemisphere" are preparing to enjoy their spring and summer seasons.

Here in the southern region of the U.S., the season of spring is in full swing, [current storms notwithstanding] along with all that comes with that: the dark and gray drabness of winter is giving way to the bright colorings that are provided by freshly-blooming plants;

with some overnight temperatures in the 40's (F) to low 60's (F) last week, birds were singing throughout the early morning hours following daybreak; and the yellow flowers of the lantana plants scattered about the front of the house are attracting a variety of butterflies.

Additionally, as always during this season, female butterflies are racing about as they flee the unwanted advances of certain male butterflies, evidently saving themselves for Mr. Right Butterfly alone, as is the way in Nature;

the deer in this area that bred last fall are preparing to welcome the newest members of their herds within a month or so; and a few of the more feisty male squirrels are trying to inspire some females to join them in getting an early start on one of their two breeding seasons this year, the first of which will begin fairly soon.

To that end, there is some use made here of an ability to mimic certain sounds that will attract squirrels, including a clicking / clucking sound that many of them find so irresistible that they expose themselves in their search for the source of the sound. (This sound in different from the harsh chirping, chattering sound they make when angry or afraid.)

Over the years, many squirrels have become regular guests, becoming so comfortable that they will eventually eat the pecans that are held between an extended thumb and finger and offered to them. (On mornings when "sleeping in" occurs and there is some tardiness in delivering their treats, their harsh chirping and chattering sounds can be heard outside the bedroom window: "Hey! You! Yeah, you there, you the fool inside the house! You're a little tardy with our breakfast this AM. Roll out!!)

So it was that a few days ago during a post-blogging, early morning walk that I paused beside a fairly large section of woods in an undeveloped part of the area here, a section where squirrels share the space with a herd of nine or ten deer. The herd includes two bucks, several doe, and several yearlings that had arrived last May or June.

To attract the squirrels that nest in that area, two quarters were rubbed together because the sound that makes carries some distance and because that sound mimics one of the sounds that squirrels make. It does not take long to draw the attention of any interested squirrels. That morning, two showed themselves quickly.

I continued with the quarters: rub-rub-rub quickly, pause; rub-rub-rub quickly, pause. Then, as I replaced those sounds made by rubbing the two coins with certain clucking / clicking sounds made with the tongue, both squirrels ventured even closer.

As one climbed along the front of a tree about ten feet away, I took my phone from my pocket and snapped a picture of one of my "neighbors." Both then moved to the back side of the trees they were on, stretched their bodies out, peeked around the edge of the trees, and made direct eye contact with me. As the sounds continued, they came to the side, standing upside down and stretching their necks toward me at full length as they "checked me out."

Soon, the braver of the two ran up the tree until he reached the first limb which extended some fifteen feet out to where I was standing. The more the sound continued, the more curious he became, and the further out on the limb he came.

Looking up at him as we made and held direct eye contact, there was a movement detected in my peripheral vision: a yearling was venturing out of the woods and moving toward us. Soon, a second came, and then two protective doe followed them.

As the nearer yearling of the two stared at me, focusing on me and the sounds that usually come only from their small furry neighbors, the two uneasy doe remained in the background nearby. I lifted the hand holding the phone and snapped another picture [available in the eBook].

As the clucking sounds continued, the yearlings - conditioned as a result of exposure to so much human traffic in the area - ventured closer and closer, curious about the sounds and their source. Of course, the corn that a neighbor had scattered for them was piled some 35-40 feet away and was also an attraction.

The yearlings paused, approached, and paused again. During those pauses, they stretched their legs into positions that would allow them to beat a hasty retreat if I should display any sign of being a threat. (Unfortunately, they are hassled regularly, especially by some children and teens and adults in the area.)

Standing as I was in the middle of a very long curve in the road, anyone approaching from either direction would be able to see exactly what was happening with the squirrels and the deer and me.

And that is what happened when a young girl came around the bend on her bicycle and - being awake and aware and conscious - first slowed and then stopped completely. The deer turned their heads to the right and watched her for a moment and then quickly turned their heads back toward me.

The young girl - maybe seven or eight years old - began pushing her bike toward me, very slowly, moving, stopping when the yearlings turned their heads back toward her, then moving closer whenever they were focused on me.

Many minutes later, having moved slowly and calmly and silently, she stood next to me without having startled any of the deer at all. I looked down at her and she looked up at me and the smile that stretched across the entire width of her face reminded me of the smiles I usually saw on my daughter's face during the most joyous occasions in her early days.

This girl with her bicycle had come to Me as a child: conscious but free of any motives; fully aware of what was happening all around her; free of any self-consciousness; totally absorbed in what Nature was offering rather than being totally absorbed in self.

The innocent excitement and pure enthusiasm of this child was a thrill to see once more, especially because she was enjoying something in nature, something so removed from the typical interests of most of the youth in the area who usually only play with expensive, motorized toys.

The girl then made eye contact with the yearlings, and as they stared at her, they moved a few steps closer. It was as if there were a sense of kinship, a unanimity even.

The cautious, suspicious concerns of the two doe notwithstanding, the two yearlings were coming to us as innocent and pure children. The little girl looked up at me again, and it was obvious she was feeling as if she might pop wide open with the thrill of this close encounter with these forms that are living naturally in the wild.

I continued clucking, and when she looked up at me with a huge grin spread across her face, I used a movement of my eyes to signal for her to redirect her sight line to the squirrel that was a few feet away on the overhead limb, his thick tail fluttering and flicking back and forth at what looked to be a hundred miles an hour.

Then, just as the yearlings were about to step closer, a woman came jogging around the bend, pushing her infant male child in a stroller ahead of her. She saw us, and looked to see what we were watching. Then she saw the deer, but she never slowed.

The little girl next to me looked at her with panic in her eyes, as if trying to signal to the woman to slow down, to stop, to avoid disturbing this quiet and peaceful scene.

It was not to happen. The woman was one of those types that the Western European friends I made (during the days when I was conducting tours throughout their nations) would call "The Ugly American."

For them, the term pointed to a loud, obnoxious type of person, the type who would disturb the peace in Europe's most wonderful museums or would disrupt the quietness in one of their most delightful restaurants, the type that would inspire locals to begin signaling for their checks so they could leave what had been a most-enjoyable environment but that had been bastardized by those types who are so self-absorbed that they would never tune in either (1) to what was happening around them or (2) to the way that it was happening.

The woman ran right up beside us and then turned the stroller toward the deer, and the doe began to stamp their hooves and then snort as an alert to the yearlings; then the doe turned toward the thicker section of the woods behind them and ran. The yearlings became skittish. Then the woman shattered the quiet by screaming, "Oh look, Jeffrey. Look at the deer!"

And with that, the deer turned and we saw only the tails lifted in the air as they all raced away, retreating into the deeper and quieter parts of the forest.

The squirrels dashed to the highest limbs in the trees they were in, then jumped from one tree to another until they too were out of sight . . . only their angry, harsh chirping and their fear-inspired chattering sounds providing any evidence that they had moved to the topmost parts of other distant trees.

Then, the woman shouted out loudly, as if her child was not two feet away but as if the child were hundreds of feet away, "Oh, they all ran away, Jeffrey, but you got to see them for a second anyway. Okay, let's go."

And with that, she turned the stroller and began jogging away. Not so much as a "Hi," a "Bye" or a "Screw you very much," much less an "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. My big mouth ruined a neat, quiet moment you two were sharing with the deer and squirrels. I've become so preoccupied with myself that I could really be mistaken for a rudeness factory, couldn't I?"

Of course, hearing that last statement would have made no difference, so just as well she left without any more words than the ones she'd already shouted. Yet the fact remains that she is representative of those among the masses who are so self-absorbed that they never pay the least amount of attention to what is going on around them, to what they regularly interrupt, or to the peace that they - like that woman - often unilaterally bring to an end.

She came along, wrecked the peace, interrupted a natural moment, and then went her merry way after creating a disturbance. The little girl next to me looked at the woman as she jogged away, then looked up at me. I saw tears streaming down her cheeks from the corners of both eyes, overcome with a profound sadness. With the sense of Oneness that manifested, of course the same degree of profound sadness had to manifest with me.

Then, the little girl looked again toward the woman running away, disappearing into the distance like Mr. Magoo, racing through the relative existence, forever generating havoc and chaos, and moving right along in a totally blind manner that leaves such types totally oblivious to the relative effects of their actions.

The woman had shown up with a black contagion of self-centeredness within, a contagion which causes her to spew forth constantly and pollute her surroundings, like an invading army of arrogance and a navy of narcissism, wrecking havoc and then sailing away, leaving a trail of unhappiness in her wake.

I looked at the face of the girl standing next to me as she watched the woman running away, and I saw a jet of anger suddenly fire out of her eyes. But it was short-lived. Soon, the disappointment outweighed the anger and then I saw what seemed to be evidence of disenchantment instead.

Next, I saw, too, what appeared to be an element of disillusionment. Was that what the little girl was feeling? Did she realize, as a result of some inner sense, what she was most likely going to be exposed to for many decades on this planet? If so, that was the saddest part of what had happened that morning.

Is it possible that she may have experienced a momentary, archetypal glimpse of the fact that a part of the original nature of human-type forms and spaces - namely, a "primordial cooperation" - has now been lost almost completely?

And why? Nowadays, that primordial cooperation, which is rooted in an understanding of Real Love and the unicity, is understood only fully by the Realized because it is they that are also in touch with their Original Nature. Conversely, most among the masses understand neither Real Love nor the unicity at all, so they most assuredly have no sense of that primordial cooperation anymore.

[The invitation is to see another case study of those not abiding as THAT by witnessing the chaos in the streets in the U.S. currently and to see that it is rooted in decades of the widespread, race-based, dualistic belief held by far-too-many whites who are in hierarchical positions of authority and who are driven by their sense of different-from-ment (and, therefore, better-than-ment), whites who are playing their role of "The All-Powerful, Ready-to-Kill Guardians of All Things Good Which Are Being Threatened by the Purveyors of All Things Bad and Evil." Then, look around the globe and see a plethora of similar examples of duality-based chaos which are playing out on every continent.

That primordial cooperation has gone the way of the dinosaurs because persons (driven by self-will and deluded by self into believing in "free will") are now in cooperation only with their persona-based fears and with the selfish desires of their false personalities rather than being free of ego and egotism, a freedom which would allow them to align once more with the original sense of collaboration and caring and compassion and empathy.]

I reached down and put my hand on the little girl's head and ruffled her pageboy cut for a second and said, "That was a pretty neat moment, wasn't it?"

She answered, "Yes," but sadly. I said, "You may well see them again one day, and if you do, you will never be the type to disturb them. You and they will enjoy the company of each other." She showed me a half smile. I smiled and then turned and began walking away.

It took several minutes for me to reach the final bend in the road. With that being my last chance to see the little girl, I looked back over my shoulder and saw that she had not moved an inch; she still stood there, holding up her bicycle, looking into the woods. Then, she suddenly turned her head to the right and saw me looking back at her as I continued walking away.

Slowly, she raised her right arm and waved goodbye, with a smile. I waved back, with a smile.

And I knew in that instant that she would be making many natural moments happen in her lifetime. I knew without a doubt that there will be many moments when she will respect the quiet. I knew without a doubt that there will be many moments when she will enjoy the peace. But what obstacles will manifest between now and then that will hamper her ability to delight in all of that?

Yet I knew without a doubt that - deep within - she will continue to be tuned in to what is happening about her and that she will be awake and aware and conscious of the stillness when others are enjoying such tranquility.

And again, the message came:

"If you would come to Me, you must come to Me as a child."

The yearling above came as a child; the young girl that was awake enough to see what was going on - and that stopped her bike and then moved slowly and quietly so that she did not create a disturbance - came as a child.

Then a self-absorbed speck of consciousness-in-the-body-of-a-rude-woman came not as a child but as one so self-centered that she ruined with her earsplitting interruption a moment that will never be again. Focused only on herself and her child - who was too young to even know what a deer is - she brought to an end a blissful happening that another child was savoring.

Like the marauding Caesar, she came, she saw, she conquered, she destroyed, and then she left, completely blind to the relative effects of her egocentricity.

And in that illustration, everything that the non-dual understanding can bring, and what will happen in its absence, was played out for any to see who are willing to awaken to the message.

Such occurrences as that moment (which was being shared by two strangers who were united by an attraction to things natural) are able to trigger that subconscious, subliminal message regarding the peace and serenity and unconditional happiness that usually ends when the Child No-Knowing State ends.

But the guardian of that message - the inner guru - calls those who are even partially awake and aware and conscious to return to that former condition of the "No-Knowing Child" when a state of "pure" (that is, "not yet blocked") consciousness allowed unconditional happiness to happen. The little girl being discussed was already abiding in the manner prescribed by Maharaj:

"Remain as the silent witness only."

Is that not all that she was involved with? Not with self and self-ish-ness but with Pure Witnessing, which can only happen in the silence.

Maharaj: "This attitude of silent observation is the very foundation of Yoga." Yet earlier, a sense of caution was expressed. It was asked whether or not the effects of acculturation might be overcome and thereby allow her to be able to elude the influences that rob almost all persons of that "attitude of silent observation" which the young girl is presently exhibiting. As is most often the case in this culture, will she be drawn to the levels of self and self-ish-ness that were exhibited by the woman who interrupted the young girl's quiet time while the girl was silently observing the squirrels and deer that had come to us?

How about you? How are you "coming to Me," that is, to a state of Full Awareness? As a child? As an adult modeling for a child an appreciation of thing natural, for a child that is not yet capable of experiencing wonderment and joy? As an adult inviting persons to experience wonderment and joy? Or as a bastardized speck of consciousness, manifested in a loud and noisy and silence-loathing and silence-wrecking adult-body-cum-consciousness?

To be continued.

Please enter the silence of contemplation.

[You may access all of the posts in this series by clicking on "March (23)" below]

Friday, April 24, 2015


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31. [To return to what a Cherokee Grandmother revealed regarding abidance as Your Original Nature and freedom from delusion]


For a young child longing for peace and for respite from an existence that was plagued with far too much nonsense and craziness and violence, with far too many judgments about being "good" or "bad," and with the administering of excessive punishment when deemed to be "bad," the contrast offered during summer and holiday visits with a calm, serene, Cherokee grandmother became a welcome balm.

To be in her presence in the quietness of the natural surroundings of a forest and in a home where serenity reigned was to be in what some would call "Nirvana" or what others, such as Maharaj, called "abiding as That Original State." At least it was for a young child who was already trying to escape an environment in the worst part of a city which was . . .

. . . far too chaotic;

. . . far too noisy;

. . . far too castigatory in character;

. . . far too dominated by abusive and ignorant authority figures in the home and in school and in church;

. . . far too dominated by adults who were spouting nonsense which even a six-year-old was able to identify as ignorant and insane but which was never to be seen to be nonsense by the spouters; and thus

. . . far too illogical and irrational for one to whom logic and reason were innate qualities or traits.

Because of the respite which Grandmother offered from all of the nonsense and ignorance, the concept in India of undergoing "the forest dweller stage" became my experience long before I ever heard the term.


When in the city with my parents, bedtime was marred with an obligatory nighttime prayer which included the phrase ". . . and if i die before I wake . . . ." That always struck me as a peculiar concept to introduce to a child just prior to the child's trying to go to sleep, but my protests regarding that prayer were ignored and the prayer with a line about the possibility of imminent death during sleep had to be spoken in the dark every twenty-four hours.

[Moreover, it became clear to me early on that adults attach to blind traditions which are rooted in nonsense and insanity and are then willing to fight to make others accept their nonsensical beliefs and force others to model their insane behaviors, all the while being convinced that what they are doing is what is "best" for their child or children. The levels of rigidity (rigidity being the guardian of ignorance) always amazed, even at the age of five and six.]

The next fifty-six years would provide hundreds of thousands of examples of (1) the ways that political authorities use fear and (2) the ways that religious authority figures use fear of punishment now and fear of punishment forever and (3) the ways that "Parental and Boss Types" all use fear and intimidation in order to try to control and manipulate the masses.

Later, an understanding of the silliness of fear-based prayers and the selfishness of desire-based prayers would make clear why Grandmother - abiding as she did without having ever assumed any of the personal identifications which inspire fear or desires - was never driven to invent a "God deemed to be personal" and was never driven to pray to an "invented God" (per Maharaj) out of fear or out of desire.

Thus, that evening prayer which I was subjected to at home (the one which reinforced a belief in the possibility of dying during sleep before awakening and which had to be prayed nightly in the city) was never a requirement at Grandmother's; in fact, as noted, Grandmother never prayed any prayers at all, but she did offer to a young child a hug and a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the head at bedtime, so sleep in her home came quickly and was long and deep. Except for one night.

One night, when fears generated by strange noises outside the open window drove me from my bed to hers, she calmed me with a hug and shushing sounds. That night, the noises outside the window triggered a fear that “this might finally be the night that I die before I wake,” a seemingly real possibility after years of having been conditioned to believe in that possibility as a result of constant exposure to a perverse prayer.

The thought of that possibility drove me to seek something to assuage the fear in a way that would allow me to return to sleep, so it was asked, “Grandmother, am I too bad to get to go to heaven if I die?” After a moment of silence, in which she was processing a hurt that I only now realize she was feeling, Grandmother said, “Not only are you not bad, but there is no death, so do not be concerned. Just go to sleep and rest.” A combination of confusion and exhaustion at that point prevented me from even responding.

With that, I staggered back to my bed with her assistance, but after she returned to her bedroom, I repeated silently and sleepily, "There is no death?" "There is no death?" "What? There is no death?" Suddenly, I wanted to run to her and ask for more explanation, for more assurance, but I wanted even more to return to sleep, so nothing more was said after a few incoherent mumblings from a child transitioning from abject fear into the quiet-breath sounds of sleep.

It would be approximately forty-five years before it would be seen in retrospect that the transitioning from abject fear into the quiet-breath sounds of rest would be a metaphor for what can come via the Advaita “journey” and what can free persons from (A) a relative existence that had been marked by imagined fears and unmet desires and “mind”-generated misery and suffering to (B) being able to enjoy the quiet-breath moments of rest, post-Realization.

Later, at one point, my path crossed with that of a young girl who was able to come to me quietly and watch the squirrels and deer that had also come to me quietly. At another point my path crossed with that of a person who had no respect at all for the peace and quiet and silence which she interrupted and brought to an end with her loudness.

Consider how like Grandmother that young girl was, and how like the deer both Grandmother and the little girl were, all three being natural and therefore all three being: subdued; still; silent; hushed; calm; tranquil; undisturbed (and, therefore, undisturbing); serene; muted; understated; restrained; and unobtrusive.

Then, consider how unnatural the loud person was: shrill; strident; blaring; noisy; turbulent; piercing; obviously disturbed and therefore disturbing; bustling; blustering; overstated; unrestrained; and obtrusive. In short, she embodied everything that all which is natural is not.

Which type are you allowing yourself to be subjected to? Are you tolerating the intolerable? Are you normalizing the abnormal? Are you accepting things unnatural and things supposedly supernatural rather than abiding in a Nisargan, natural manner? Is there a chance that you might "die" before you awake? Have you been so driven by a desire to escape boredom that you have developed an addiction  to chaos?

Can you relate to a child running about in the darkness of abject fear, driven by things imagined that are not even real? Can you relate to an adult still doing the same? Do you relate more to unnaturally-loud persons or to those who are quiet and merely want to enjoy all things natural?

Are you ready for the quietness to replace the chaos? Are you ready for the sleep-state level of peace to manifest during the waking hours as well? Are you ready for peaceful surroundings? Are you truly ready to take all seven steps that are required to complete the journey that can take you to that?

Or, as Maharaj recommended, would you at least be willing to begin with a commitment to completing at least four of the seven steps on the "path" and thereby shift from identifying with a body and mind and personality and abiding instead as Your Original Nature?

For the complete discussion, some take into silent consideration the pointers offered in the eBook below entitled "The Relative Results of Returning to 'The Child Ignorance Stage' or "The Child No-Knowing State'." Some read "Your Original Nature." Additional pointers are available if required for those who have reached a state of readiness.

Sitting in front of Maharaj in a loft, "richard" was invited to understand that which is beyond both the beingness and the non-beingness and to abide as that / THAT (meaning, "in that / THAT fashion") for the remainder of the manifestation. Right now, as you are sitting in front of this electronic loft, you are invited to do the same.

To be continued.

Please enter the silence of contemplation.

[You may access all of the posts in this series by clicking on "March (23)" below]

Thursday, April 23, 2015


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30. From yesterday: Is there any empirical evidence to suggest that a "full-blown, global awakening" is happening? Hardly. Can anyone or anything produce "a new type of consciousness"? Absurd. Yet there are such cases happening nowadays where persons are being exposed to some version of non-dual pointers (as evidenced in some of the lyrics in such well-received songs as "I Don't Want to Be Anything Other Than Me" and "I Just Want You to Know Who I Am").

Also included in the eBook of quotations below are hundreds of examples of movies, plays, novels, and songs which offer non-dual messages. Consider from the two songs mentioned above if Maharaj might have offered some of the same pointers as are offered in those two songs.

Gavin DeGraw wrote the lyrics of the song "I Don't Want to Be Anything Other Than Me" which he never thought would be popular and which he never thought would sell but which he wrote and recorded anyway, not as some sort of "personal declaration of independence" but more as a "declaration of independence from things personal." He stated that he was more surprised than anyone that it became a hit.

Consider some of the lines: "I came from the mountain . . . the crust of creation . . . my whole situation, made from clay to stone." [Certainly those familiar with Maharaj's teaching that the body is nothing more than a composite unity in which certain earth elements which have come together temporarily can understand DeGraw's point.]

Consider the song's call for an end to modeling and mimicking and posing and posturing and its call for authenticity: "I'm tired of looking 'round rooms, wondering what I've got to do or who I'm supposed to be"


"I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn; I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn; I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn."

[Too harsh to withstand comparison with Maharaj's take on the state of those among the non-Realized masses? Many also thought at times that Maharaj was too harsh, kicking people out of the loft. But WHO was actually banned? Those who came to flaunt a religious or spiritual image which they had assumed; those showing up in special robes being worn as an outward token of their notion that they had attained some deep philosophical understanding and some higher-level-of-enlightenment than all "others"; those seeking a captive audience; and those seeking to dominate the conversation and show off their supposed "wisdom."

And WHAT was actually banned? Narcissism. Vanity on display. Spiritual Giantism. Posturing and "impostering." False identities on parade. And hypocrisy.

See, the irony involved with many who claim to be "well along the path" or "well into the journey" or who claim to have reached the end of the path and become "fully enlightened, liberated, and realized" is this: some set out on a quest that could shift them away from their past phoniness and identity crises to truth and authenticity and away from their living and play-acting on the stage of "The Theatre of the Lie." 

The hypocrisy that Maharaj saw for decades and that has been witnessed here for decades as well is this: such claimants just moved from one stage to another, the only perceived difference being that new roles are being played, new characters are being displayed. Some actors nowadays are typecast. They only play villains or they only play good persons. Such was not the case with so many whom Maharaj witnessed over the years. Some of the actors who came to the loft had played the villain for years, but then they assumed the role of "The Really Good One" or "The Super Religious One" or "The Spiritual Giant." They were living no less a lie than before. Harsh to point out their current condition? Or actually quite loving?]

DeGraw: "Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from." [Certainly Maharaj shared that pointer often, inviting seekers to find out where they came from in order to know where they were going. He asked, "Where were You in the days prior to conception?" He advised seekers to "Go back, reverse, along the same path by which You came" and "Return back to Your Original Nature" and  go back to abiding in the way that happened when originally in that field of awareness-energy prior to the manifestation of THAT as conscious-energy.]

DeGraw: "I don't want to be anything other than me" (or Me). 

[Those words could also have been spoken by that speck of consciousness called "Maharaj."] 

Another fairly recent example of lyrics containing certain non-dual messages is the John Rzeznik's "I Just Want You to Know Who I Am." He wrote: "I don't want the world to see me' cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am" (or "Who I Am" or "What I Am"). 

[Such was the message behind one of Maharaj's most frequently-offered pointers: Understand Who I Am so that you may understand Who / What You Are.]

But what of "everything's meant to be broken"? That pointer takes persons to some of Maharaj's least popular pointers: What you take yourself to be is not that at all and What you take yourself to be will not last. Additionally, similar to the non-dual pointer from another Advaitin called "Jesus" who said "No one will ever see heaven for it is within," Maharaj made clear that their is no "life" or "rebirth" after this one because "You were not born once, so you surely cannot be born again." As for "seeing God someday," Maharaj said, "Humans invented God" in order to have a power that will remove their fears and grant their desires.  

But why is everything meant to be broken? Maharaj said that science would someday advance to the point where it would prove the validity of all non-dual teachings. The Second Law of Thermodynamics did just that, making clear that whatever comes together will come apart, including bridges and buildings and physical bodies and minds and personal identities and relationships and roles being played and governments and nations and cults and sky-cults (religions) and suns and solar systems and anything else which manifests (always temporarily) because parts come together to form what appears to be something else.

Maharaj made clear that nothing is created and nothing is destroyed. All is energy-matter, and neither energy nor matter can be created, nor can energy or matter be destroyed. (So much for a "Creator God" and so much for a "Destroyer God.")

All merely cycles, Maharaj taught. The composite unity of an elemental plant food body which is circulating air and circulating various forms of energy (including the circulation of conscious-energy) will come apart . . . will break up. And that coming together of elements and coming apart will happen long before the taking of mahasamadhi. It is happening every instant, right now. 

Why do humans have to dust the furniture? Because they are shedding their skin every 28 days. Skin cells come and go. Ever wonder how a stomach can "last" though its flesh is being exposed to the same acids which can eat their way right through large pieces of vegetables or through a huge piece of meat . . . a large piece of animal flesh? It can't, and it doesn't. The lining of the stomach is replaced every four days or so.

Per the "laws of nature" (the laws of physics) everything really is made to be broken.

Next, desiring neither notoriety nor fame, Maharaj could have said the words in the chorus of the Rzeznik song with one change to the last line (in italics):

I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand." [Maharaj made clear that (a) he did not want large numbers of people coming to the loft because the message is only for the few and that (b) most will never grasp this understanding.] "When everything's meant to be broken, I just want You to know . . .  What I Am because that is also What You Are."

If the awareness is aware of awareness, of "ItSelf," then abidance can happen NOW in the same fashion that it happened prior to being manifested as consciousness (which brings duality with it). To abide as the pre-manifestation awareness (when awareness was not even aware of itself and when there was no conscious-of-ness) is to abide NOW without any identification, without any concepts, without any personality disorders, without any ignorance, without any insanity, without any sense of different-from-ment, without any sense of better-than-ment, and - therefore - without any sense of separation.

To be continued.

Please enter the silence of contemplation.

[You may access all of the posts in this series by clicking on "March (23)" below]

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


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29. During both of "richard's" visits to the loft, Maharaj "pegged him" instantly. Maharaj saw that a person had entered his loft who had "intentions" about receiving "benefits" as a result of Enlightenment and Realization and spiritual exercises and meditation practices. During both visits, Maharaj encouraged him to avoid Big Name Teachers, to abandon his practices, to abandon the belief that benefits were available via his doingness, to understand the beingness instead, and - most of all - to understand the non-beingness and to understand that which is even beyond beingness and non-beingness.

Eventually, Richard would become one of the few that would "get it." When that "richard" climbed the stairs and sat down on the floor of the loft, Maharaj obviously "saw" something in the person sitting before him which led Maharaj to suspect that that speck of blocked consciousness before him might just "beat the odds," might actually allow the pointers to steep for a while as happens with a fine brew of tea, might then reach the point where he would finally "get it," might then move beyond the quagmire in which richard had become stuck, and might thereafter become free.

Yet all the while that Maharaj was sharing level-appropriate pointers to visitors, he understood full well that the results of his talks were, for the most part, going to be nil. He originally predicted that only one out of 100,000 would "get it"; later, he amended his guesstimate to "one out of 1,000,000"; later, he revised that to "one out of 10,000,000."

Nowadays, there is a popular "school of thought" (meaning there can be no truth associated with that school for three reasons: one, it involves a belief; two, it involves a popular belief; three, it is rooted in human thinking which involves nothing but dualistic falsehoods). The school of thought suggests that a "New Age of Enlightenment" is sweeping the globe. One advaitin on another continent observed recently that she is surrounded by persons "who are convinced that 'consciousness' is evolving and we are heading towards a global awakening." That is a thought which is becoming more and more widespread, in many cases traceable to the publication of one book in particular by a Big Name Teacher.

Talk of "consciousness evolving" and of "a global awakening" has been increasing for some seven years or more since that book's publication. Yet conscious-energy is conscious-energy. It cannot "evolve." Once manifested, it will be blocked. In a few cases, via the non-dual "path," (or via some effective professional counseling in other cases) the consciousness can be unblocked; again, though, Maharaj would note that such "unblocking" is only going to happen in a few cases, never on "a global basis." Global "warming"? Definitely. Global "awakening"? Never. The key point: consciousness can be blocked or unblocked, but the unblocking of consciousness does not make the consciousness "evolve." It simply allows it to see clearly.

[Last week, an opthamologist provided a prescription for a new pair of glasses. What is being viewed now is being seen far more clearly than before. But does that means my eyes "evolved" or that my "eyesight" evolved? Of course not. Something came along that allowed clearer seeing to happen. Nothing more was involved. The same can happen with the blocked consciousness which can, by no means, "evolve."]

Yet that belief in evolving consciousness and in a global awakening that is happening right now has spread since that book was published, in spite of the lack of an iota of evidence to support the claim.

While there is . . .

no empirical evidence that fewer persons are asleep while thinking they are awake;

no empirical evidence that fewer persons are trapped in personality identification; and

no empirical evidence that that fewer people are suffering from the Ultimate Sickness and its symptoms of ignorance and insanity,

there is . . .

considerable empirical evidence that more persons than ever are walking in their sleep, are talking in their sleep, are being driven by the subconscious agendas of assigned or assumed multiple personalities, and are suffering from personality disorders which are disintegrating into serious neuroses and psychoses.

Yet more and more supposedly spiritual persons are buying into the assertions in that book which touts the advantages of a new form of religion and a new form of spirituality and a new type of consciousness which has now evolved and which had never been available before and which allows for a new kind of salvation; which touts the advantages of having a new concept of God (though non-duality encourages freedom from belief in all concepts);

which touts the advantages of a new understanding of what sinners are (those "lost in unconsciousness"); which touts the advantages of a new heaven and new earth; which touts the ability of those who now possess that new type of consciousness to aid in their "real purpose" (supposedly - and egotistically - to "aid with the progress of humanity"); and which touts the advantages of awakening to one's own consciousness (though Maharaj made clear that consciousness is the root of, and support for, all duality).

Contrary to some of the extremely-high estimates being tossed about nowadays regarding how many have recently become "awakened," were Maharaj here, he would stand firm with his predictions that few will ever awaken; he would stand firm with his point that awareness - not consciousness - leads to an awakening and to being restored to sanity; he would stand firm with his point that their is no God and that it is humans who have "invented God"; that there are neither sinners nor virtuous persons; that there is no "one" to receive any belief or advantage; that there is no "one" to be saved; that there is nothing to be "saved" from; and that there is no "progress" or "purpose."

That said, yes, there are those with some level of understanding who are functioning in certain public venues and who are presently sharing the non-dual message (either consciously or intuitively). The eBook below with non-dual quotations also offers evidence of such cases, providing empirical evidence that some playwrights and screenwriters and producers and musicians are producing movies and shows and songs which - intuitively or otherwise - tap into the inner guru and trigger in audience members an internal resonance which allows some to tap into - for a few moments at least - that which they know but that which they have no awareness of knowing.

Can those cases lead to a full-blown, global awakening? Hardly. Can anyone or anything produce a new type of consciousness? Absurd. Yet there are such cases happening nowadays where persons are being exposed to some version of non-dual pointers (as evidenced in some of the lyrics in such well-received songs as "I Don't Want to Be Anything Other Than Me" and "I Just Want You to Know Who I Am.") More on that tomorrow.

To be continued.

Please enter the silence of contemplation.

[You may access all of the posts in this series by clicking on "March (23)" below]

Tuesday, April 21, 2015


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28. Eventually, Maharaj abandoned the use and endorsement of all "holy" texts; he abandoned Hinduism; he abandoned the popular and traditional non-dual teaching methods; he abandoned spirituality; and he began to share his mastery of psychology (that is, his mastery of the functioning - and, especially, the dysfunctioning - of the mind).

He had long touted the shift to "The Child Ignorance Stage" to any seeker willing to heed his advice to "follow the path back out in the same manner by which you came in, except in reverse order." Here, that stage is pointed to with the term "The Child No-Knowing State."

The more he worked with seekers, the more he came to understand that the Ultimate Sickness is rooted not in "the heart" and not in "a soul" and not in "the spirit" but is rooted in the mind. He came to understand the mental dysfunctionalism in which humanity was trapped. He also came to understand (even without knowing any of the particular terms used nowadays by professionals who have been trained to work with the dysfunctional mind) that humanity's mental problems are rooted in the fact that humans engage in  "modeling" or "merging with" and / or "mirroring" or "internalizing" or "mimicking" or "enmeshing with."

That is, humans model or mimic the words and behaviors of others, starting with children modeling and mimicking the adults they are around at home, in school, in religious venues, in their communities, and on television.  Psychological merging and / or mirroring happen in cases when boundaries are not clearly defined as adults interact with children. In such cases, children never develop any sense of independence or any "sense of self" (much less any "sense of Self") and become a mirror image of a parent or guardian. Of course egotistical, love-starved adults love it when their children become exact clones of them.

Internalizing involves children adopting the personality types of the adults around them while also developing other personality styles in an effort to try to placate the adults in charge of the dysfunctional environments in which children are having to try to function and to which they are having to try to adapt.

Enmeshing takes the process of "creating a mind which will eventually be able to think only in a totally-distorted fashion" to a new height. As a result of the widespread lack of wisdom-based parenting skills, cross-generational bonds can form within a family. When that happens, children are not only trapped within the basic personality types that all children adopt to one degree or another; instead, via enmeshment, they also assume another identity and play the role of "A Surrogate Spouse" to the mother or father or to some other adult female or male who is present.

That does not suggest that some kind of sexual child abuse happened, only that mental child abuse happened. A result of enmeshment is that the Dependent Personality Disorder and the Co-Dependent Personality Disorder will take root and develop. Unless (a) extensive, effective professional counseling or (b) Full Realization happens, then that unhealthy, symbiotic relationship which comes into existence during the childhood years of many persons will continue to plague a person throughout her or his entire relative existence.

What Maharaj understood is that the masses suffer from the Ultimate Sickness and that they are passing that Mental Sickness down to their offspring, so if offspring are "modeling" or "merging with" and / or "mirroring" or "internalizing" or "mimicking" or "enmeshing with" adults who are suffering from the symptoms of the Ultimate Sickness (identified by Maharaj as "learned ignorance" and "stupidity" and "insanity" along with the other traits of the sickness, including a host of personality disorders which usually disintegrate into full-blown neuroses and psychoses) then the children will be guaranteed to exhibit those same symptoms as well.

Maharaj also saw that such children who grow into adulthood often find "new adults" or "role models" or "Big Name Teachers" (or preachers or priests or popes or rabbis or ayatollahs or politicians or gurus or monks or sponsors or life coaches or employers, ad infinitum) with whom they can also engage in "modeling" or "merging with" and / or "mirroring" or "internalizing" or "mimicking" or "enmeshing with."

As is the case here, Maharaj wanted no one modeling him. As here, seekers that sought someone to "model" or "abide as" were re-directed by him to their "inner guru" or their "inner resource" or "Their Original Nature." Before the Original Nature is understood, they are invited to abide as they did in "The Child Ignorance State" or as they did during "The Child No-Knowing Stage."

All of those options can begin to shift one away from the insanity which follows the modeling of ignorant and insane "others."

[Recently, one who intended to try to model the composite unity which he viewed as "floyd" or "Floyd" said, "I would like to pay for a one-hour Skype session to have you describe for me minute-by minute and hour-by-hour the way you live and what you do from morning to night each day." After the laughter here died down, he was told to save his money and to "find something else to model, such as 'Your Original Nature' or 'yourself,' during 'The Child No-Knowing Stage'."]

That said, the movement along the "path" here was facilitated by seeing how much more peaceful and happy and sane my life was when around Grandmother and while in the forest surrounding her cabin; thus, for a time, there was some "modeling" of her (or, more accurately, some witnessing of what she could reveal until an understanding of the Original Nature could manifest). To that end, another excerpt from the eBook below entitled YOUR ORIGINAL NATURE will be shared:


Just as noise destroys silence, silence breeds silence. Afterwards, silence breeds peace, and silence and peace can become a family's legacy.

The family of that speck of consciousness that would be called "Grandmother" by "floyd" would pass down to her not only their propensity for the silence and for peace but also their "philosophical" teachings and their healing methods as well. She would eventually function as "a medicine woman," visited regularly by the infirmed, yet her curative abilities were not limited to the physical.

Time with her could heal the troubled “mind” and emotions as well. With Grandmother, the ancient teachings that found their way from Asia and India to what would later be called "North, Central, and South America" were taught at times by word but were transferred more often in the silence of example.

It was in her small cabin which had been built with secondhand boards and secondhand nails and which sat on a knoll in a dense and isolated forest where I spent days and weeks at a time during holidays and where I spent all three months of every childhood summer.

The trips by bus started early in the morning in the city and ended late at night with the bus driver dropping me and my small suitcase off alongside a remote stretch of road. The last, shortest part of the journey in the darkness was completed by walking up a hill to her cabin. No part of the trips ever generated any fear, so powerful was the anticipation of the treats and retreat that awaited in the forest. 

[Yes, in the early 50's, a five-year-old could take a ride alone on a city's public transportation system in an electric trolley car and could visit every part of town. And the same child could take a bus from one city to another or, in the case of my trips, from the westernmost part of one state into the easternmost part of another.]

No matter how late my night-time arrivals, Grandmother always had a fire going in her wood-burning stove, ready to prepare a slightly-heated and regularly-stirred pot of fresh, unprocessed milk (which had been drawn that morning from a neighbor's cow) and ready to prepare two fresh cups of hot chocolate for us to use in celebrating the beginning of my visit.

The home at first seemed to a young male from the city as if it left Grandmother "lacking":

no air conditioning; no heat except for that small, wood-burning stove; no indoor plumbing so no indoor bathroom or running water; no radio; no television; no electricity . . . yet it would be seen by the age of seven or eight or maybe even earlier (and would be seen far more clearly as an adult) that there was everything . . . everything that could possibly be required. A sense of "lacking" anything she never knew.

The orange-yellow glow given off at night as the wicks of her lanterns drew the oil up to the fire inside the globes and then cast shadows on the walls as we moved about gave the house a surreal but charmingly romantic flavor.

Because she experienced no sense of "lacking" or "unmet desires," she never once was heard to complain about plowing a one-acre garden with a mule several times a year or about having to draw water from a well or about having to gather wood or about having to build a fire outside each morning under a large, black, cast-iron kettle in order to heat her water or about washing clothes in a small tub while using homemade soap and a scrub board.

Never did she complain about the multi-mile walk to the nearest store or about having to provide year-round food and shelter and healthcare for a mule. Never did she complain about the red dust occasionally blown into her eyes from the lane that paralleled her land.

Never did she complain about "being alone" in a very dense forest for the last thirty years after Grandfather had died at the age of forty from a ruptured appendix and after all of the children had married and moved away.

To the contrary, she was free of fear and free of desire, functioning as a minimalist who was completely content, even as a forever-present, always-welcomed sense of "less-ness" marked each aspect of her existence. She never had to "de-accumulate" because she had never accumulated to begin with. All efforts by her children to provide "the basic amenities" or "a nicer house" were refused, up until her very last years when she could no longer draw water or chop wood or walk to town for lantern oil and a few essential groceries. At the end of that manifestation, she took mahasamadhi in the same cabin in which she had lived for over nine decades.

Though "nihilism" would not have been among the words in her vocabulary, in practice she lived in what dualists would have called "a moral fashion," needing neither a defined, moral code nor an organized religion nor a holy book nor a holy man to guide her nor dogma to define for her what is "good" and what is "bad." (To use the words of Maharaj, she was beyond "both sin and virtue.")

Though she provided healing for many, she never did so to attain a sense of "self"-value or to give "meaning" to "her life"; and what happened on any given day at any given time was never a result of "preferences" or "intentions." Looking back later, it was seen that everything that happened with Grandmother happened spontaneously or not at all.

She knew no dependency; she knew no time; she honored no days with dualistic notions about some days being "more important" or "different from" or "holier" than others; she honored no person with dualistic notions about being "more important" or "different from" or "holier" than others; she never looked for people to whom she could offer help in order to (selfishly) inspire them to like or even love her, but she did share her skills and understanding with all who came in search of care and healing;

she was attuned to the cycles of the seasons but lived only in the moment; she was at-one with all. Her manifestation spanned from the end of one century and into the next, so she obviously cared for her body without caring about her body.

Dualists who knew her would swear that she loved a spouse unconditionally during her life's season for love; that she bred during the seasons for breeding; that she gave birth during the seasons for birthing; that she nurtured the young during the seasons for nurturing; and that she lived alone during her many final seasons in a state of unconditional happiness. But she never saw those "demarcations" or any others. She believed in no timelines. She understood that which does cycle, and she understood what most assuredly does not.

Looking back, it is obvious that she has none of the delusions that cause many to confuse three-dimensional things or three-dimensional "beings" with the Real. And it is obvious that the abidance of that composite unity and a speck of conscious-awareness called "Grandmother" always happened as the Original Nature.

To be continued.

Please enter the silence of contemplation.

[You may access all of the posts in this series by clicking on "March (23)" below]

Monday, April 20, 2015


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27. Yesterday's post ended with this:

It was in the presence of that speck of unblocked consciousness that the first taste of the cycles and the first taste of the nectar of "Floyd's Original Nature" came. That will be described tomorrow and will include certain understandings she shared from the indigenous people and will also include certain excerpts from another essay entitled "The Summer of 1955 (Recollections of an Eight-Year-Old from Visits with His Tsa-la-gi Grandmother)." Here are those excerpts:

With Grandmother, witnessing happened more than anything else. With her, it was as Maharaj said: "Mine is a silent language. Learn to listen and understand."

During walks in the woods, deer and owls and hawks and rabbits and foxes and eagles and snakes and the fish in the nearby stream and scores of species of birds would be witnessed. Once, while gathering herbs with her in an area which was farther away from the cabin than usual, I asked, “Can we get into trouble for trespassing if the owner catches us?” She said something that, at the time, made no sense at all: “Do not be concerned. No one owns the land.”

I thought but did not say, "Grandmother, all land is owned by somebody." (Most statements that come from the Realized will seem to be ignorant or even insane to non-Realized listeners.)

Each morning, Grandmother would go into the woods alone after sending me to the garden where I picked the vegetables that we would prepare for lunch and dinner and would place them in a bushel basket: Let's see . . . for lunch we'll have okra and tomatoes, corn, and cream peas with cornbread, and tonight we'll eat black-eyed peas, potatoes, and the chunks of smoked ham that the woman gave Grandmother in gratitude for curing her migraines.

Many times at night, while sitting with her in the home-made rocking chairs on the front porch, the plaintive cry of a bobcat could be heard in the distance as fireflies passed before our eyes. Grandmother could lift an upturned hand and the fireflies would land on her palm and walk about.

On the few occasions when I could be still, they would do the same with me. (It seemed that I could not unwind during the first days of my visits with her, but the longer I was there, the more slowly I began to move . . . the less I spoke . . . the more comfortable the silence became.)

The rustle of insects’ wings could be heard. Chirping crickets provided a musical background for a small child sitting next to his Ah-ni-yv-wi-ya Grandmother. But a happening one evening provided a taste of My Original Nature. (Those early tastes would eventually drive me throughout a multi-decade-long quest as an adult to try to recapture the calm and soothing sense of "atonement" - that is, "at-one-ment" - that came to a child "on retreat" in those early Original Nature moments.)

It was late one evening when Grandmother and I were using paring knives to strip away willow bark in preparation for making a healing potion. Another woman would be visiting early the next morning, also in order to receive treatment for her migraine headaches from that Cherokee Medicine Woman called "Grandmother."

After the bark was taken into the kitchen and put to soak with other herbs before being boiled into an herbal tea, we returned to the front porch and sat down once more in the rocking chairs. I was unaware of how vigorously my chair was moving on the dark porch, nor how still Grandmother’s chair was in contrast.

Unconsciously, when my rapid rocking walked the chair to the edge of the porch, I stood, moved it back, and began the process all over again. Later, the full moon would clear the tops of some of the trees in the piney woods in front of the house, and a gap between the limbs of the taller trees allowed moonbeams to strike Grandmother.

I glanced to my right to see that she was looking straight ahead toward the trees and the moon. She was enlightened by the moonbeams that bathed her in a bluish luminosity that was still bright enough to reveal the brown spots that covered the top of her hands, hands which looked to be more bone than skin. I looked at my smooth right hand, then at the rough skin on her left hand, and then at the lines that crossed her face.

I foresaw my own body's rough and wrinkled and browned "future." With Grandmother, Nature would not allow those lines to be ironed out into a smooth texture ever again. As I looked at her, an obscure awareness of something about "patterns" or "cycles" or "phases" tried to surface from the brain-stem, but I had no tools to use to clear the way for one of her many native pointers to come into consciousness: even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were.

So there sat a child that had not yet cycled one decade with a grandmother that had cycled many. There was smooth skin and rough, there was a day that had cycled into night, there was a moon cycling across the sky, and that full moon would soon complete another cycle as well.

There was something there to be understood, but it was beyond my grasp, so the nervous rocking began again. And again the rocker walked to the edge of the porch. And again, a chair was pushed back beside Grandmother’s. I looked to the right and saw Grandmother’s expressionless face looking forward into the bluish moonlight, then my rocking began again as I looked at her hand, at mine, and at the moon that had moved diagonally into a higher position in the sky.

With my chair moving front-to-back, front-to-back, front-to-back, I looked again at Grandmother, beautiful now in the subtle color that was fading into a darker shade of blue. Something wanted to be realized, yet I was decades from that happening. Then suddenly, my rocking stopped . . . and did not start up again. And when it was obvious that something had stilled the chair and would keep it still for the rest of the night, I looked at Grandmother, still looking straight ahead, but I saw a smile form on her lips. "Remember the peace that may be found in silence" came into consciousness without her having said a word. "How could she be so totally aware without even looking?" I wondered.

Then, I began to feel a calmness. Next, I felt her left hand move from the arm of her rocker and rest itself atop my right. In the stillness, I had finally become . . . available. The moon had moved so high into the sky that the roof of the porch was beginning to cast us into shadow. I looked down at those two hands and, for some reason, they did not look so different anymore when viewed in the fading light. I looked at her and she looked at me, and she smiled and I smiled, and then we both looked back toward the piney trees and the sky above.

Suddenly, I felt a swelling within, a swelling which seemed to be trying to spread even beyond the boundaries of my body. It grew so much that I felt for a moment as if I might burst. Then I came to understand, by way of what seemed to be nothing more than the gentle touch of a hand, exactly what it was like to love unconditionally and to be loved unconditionally.

In the city, I would feel the force of a hand striking me regularly as conditionals and expectations were never consistently met by "that rebellious damn boy floyd." In the forest, by contrast, I felt the gentle touch of a hand and was shown how to Truly Love.

That night in 1955 on the porch of a wooden cabin sitting in the middle of a remote forest, I felt in harmony with all things, but that feeling would only last briefly; after reaching the "adult years," it would take decades for it to manifest again. That sense of harmony would not become a permanently-fixed condition until Full Realization in 1989. Now, this pointer is understood: "Being Indian" is an attitude . . . a way of being in harmony with all things and all beings. It is allowing the heart to be the distributor of energy on this planet.

Yet for a few moments that night, I sat back, in something approaching "Nirvana," experiencing a taste of The Original State that was indefinable to a small child, without a clue . . . but also without a single fear or a single desire. I felt, but did not say out loud, “I feel whole; I feel complete; I feel safe; I feel happy; I feel like all is well; OK, Grandmother, I have learned another lesson and I am not concerned, and you did not have to utter so much as a single audible word to convey the lesson.”

When I sneaked another glance at her, it seemed that Grandmother was even closer than by my side. I could not understand, but that did not interrupt the peace. The first peace, which is the most important, comes from within when people realize their Oneness with the universe. I would barely remember being gently shaken some time later, coaxed to my feet from the rocker, guided from my rocking chair to a bed with her arm wrapped around my back and side as she half-carried, half-walked me out of the shadows and through the night and into the comfort of very, very deep sleep.

How about you? Have you had a taste of Your Original Nature that you might be recalling once again? Was the taste sweet enough to trigger a search to find it and keep it? If not, is the bitterness of not having that sweet taste enough to inspire you to begin to follow "the path" that will lead you there? Are you ready to walk out of the shadows and through the night and into the comfort of Realization? If so, then you might consider heeding these words:

Maharaj: "Stay beyond all thoughts, in silent Being-Awareness. It is not 'progress', for what you come to is already there in You, waiting for you."

Again: I felt a swelling within, a swelling which seemed to be trying to spread even beyond the boundaries of my body. Nowadays, that feeling still happens. It was that same feeling which ultimately inspired Maharaj to tell seekers the truth which they often did not want to hear initially. It is that same feeling which inspires telling the seekers that come here the truth which they often do not want to hear initially.

May you also feel that feeling of "Fullness" (which can manifest only after having been "emptied" of everything), for it signals the presence of Unconditional Love; then, Unconditional Love can be followed by a sense of Unconditional Happiness.

Yet that does not generate a sense of freedom and peace. Freedom and peace must always precede Unconditional Love and Unconditional Happiness. They are the prerequisites for Unconditional Love and Unconditional Happiness.

May you abide as Your Original Nature and as a No-Knowing Child in order that you may find freedom and peace and Unconditional Love and Unconditional Happiness now.

To be continued.

Please enter the silence of contemplation.

[You may access all of the posts in this series by clicking on "March (23)" below]

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