TODAY'S CONSIDERATIONS
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Of the non-dual understanding which Maharaj offered, what might explain why he initially estimated that "only 1 out of 100,000 will ever get this" but later said that "only 1 out of 1,000,000 will ever get this" and eventually - after decades of working with seekers - modified that guesstimate to "1 out of 10,000,000"?
Consider the enormity of the obstacles which one who works for 20 or 40 or 80 years with seekers of the non-dual understanding will witness:
Obstacle #7: "The Use of Always-Reliable Ego-Defense Mechanisms"
As long as persons assume that their ego-states are actual identities, they will use mechanisms to defend those false identities. The ego (Latin, "I," the false "I") can be said to be - to use one man's words - "cunning, baffling, and powerful" to the extent that assumed ego-states can control thoughts and words and actions. Moreover, they will do that "undercover" because the agendas of ego-states are always functioning at a subconscious / unconscious level.
Misery and suffering are guaranteed to come to a relative existence when it is controlled by ego and ego-defense mechanisms (which surface shortly after personalities or personas, roles, characters, actors, ego-states, false selves, guises, facades, and fronts are assumed). So how can ego-defense mechanisms be considered "always-reliable" if they bring misery and suffering? Because they never fail to do their primary job, which is to protect and defend the false images which persons have of themselves.
Moreover, the use of ego-defense mechanisms feed the ego and inspire "self-upgrading" along with the downgrading of others. (Cicero said that, "of the 'Six Mistakes of Mankind,' number one is believing that persons can elevate themselves by reducing or lowering others.")
Here's an example of how that works:
Studies show that approximately 50-60% of all married men will have an extramarital affair at some point. At what point? At the point when the "mind" - using the ego-defense mechanism of egotism - upgrades one's role from "The Husband" to "The Super Husband" (who believes that he is not receiving what he desires or deserves or expects from "His Wife"). At that point, he downgrades her to "A Less Than Super Wife" and another ego-defense mechanism is triggered, namely, justification.
[The male, power-hungry, egomaniacal users with sociopathic tendencies and with the unchecked senses of entitlement and arrogance and with a perceived need to constantly have their egos fed by being accepted by huge numbers of women - never go through that process. They are simply driven to seek and find, constantly. Still, though, it's about feeding the ego along with a sense of inadequacy which is hidden behind layers of feigned confidence and arrogance and image-construction and image-maintenance.]
Post "upgrading," "The Super Husband" will believe that he is justified - because of his high level of self-worth and self-esteem - to seek out what he desires and deserves but is not getting from his "Less Than Super Wife."
Likewise, the "mind" of "The Wife" - using the ego-defense mechanism of egotism - will upgrade her role from "The Wife" to "The Super Wife" who is not receiving what she desires or deserves or expects from "Her Husband." At that point, she downgrades him to "A Less Than Super Husband" and other ego-defense mechanisms are triggered, namely, rationalization and justification, so she assumes the right to judge him, to criticism him, to leave him, and even to try to destroy him.
[Recall that 59% of women killed in the U.S. annually are killed during a breakup, but 41% of the men killed are also now killed during a breakup. Who says women are not making progress!]
Studies also show that approximately 40% of all married women will have an extramarital affair after they upgrade their role from "The Wife" to "The Super Wife."
Note that the agendas of ego-states and ego-defense mechanisms not only operate unconsciously but they also distort, transform, or falsify reality.
Along with egotism, justification and rationalization, other mechanisms are used as well, including “denial,” “repression,” “projection,” “displacement” and others. Consider what all is the ego's toolkit which egos use for "self" preservation:
RATIONALIZATION
Rationalization involves the twisting of facts, “putting a spin on” the way an event or action is viewed, distorting the truth, or trying to cast into a different light the way an event or action is perceived, especially to try to change others’ perceptions about an event or action as well as one's own.
Examples offered in the past to illustrate the use of this ego-defense mechanism included the husband who claimed that he did not have affairs with four women at work because “he only had oral sex with them” and included another man who called here crying about the fact that his employment had just been terminated - for the fourth time - because of sexual misconduct with subordinates at work.
He was crying the evening he called but by the next morning he had mentally restructured the truth, had distorted the reality of his conduct, had reframed his opinions about his circumstances and actions, had minimized the consequences of his behaviors on himself and the other employees involved who were also fired, so he said cheerfully, “What the heck . . . it’s all good!”
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES: SUBLIMATION
Sublimation is often used by persons with warped psyches who are thus driven by thoughts and emotions and urges that are deemed unacceptable in their culture; to try to avoid the consequences of those thoughts and emotions and urges if acted upon, a person might shift her or his focus – by becoming obsessed with physical exercise or spiritual exercises; by being obsessed with attending meetings or worship services; or by obsessively engaging in other activities rather than addressing the core issues that are generating those thoughts and emotions and urges in the first place. Rather than being free of fanaticism, the fanaticism in one area is substituted with fanaticism in another area.
[Consider those who ignore their families because their obsessive minds are driving them to drink alcohol obsessively but who eventually enter into "a program" that can - supposedly - address their problem(s). The result: they continue to ignore their families but now it is because of their new, substitute obsession, namely, their "program" or their "new friends." That is the result of sublimation as a "bad persona" is replaced by a new "good persona" or - more often - by a "really super, really good person" or even by a "Spiritual Giant."]
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES: DISPLACEMENT
Displacement is a process by which a person might be angry with “A” but redirects that anger toward “B” instead. The classic example is the man who gets angry at his wife but rather than seek resolution around whatever their argument might involve, he kicks the dog or whips a child instead.
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES: UNDOING
Undoing is used to try to gloss over a “negative” comment or action by following it will all sorts of “positive” comments to try to “balance out” or counteract what one said or did. Rather than apologize, the attempt by the ego-state is to try to “save face” and avoid admitting to an error. The insulting of a mate, therefore, might be followed by praising the mate’s looks or intelligence (as if that, rather than an apology, can assuage the way the mate feels).
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES: COMPENSATION
Compensation is a process whereby an ego-state tries to psychologically counterbalance perceived weaknesses by emphasizing strength in other areas. The result is a reinforcement of a person’s self-image without having to address any actual relative “weaknesses.”
The consequences of duality - including personality identification, personality defense, and personality disorders which can lead to neuroses and psychoses - should be clear.
The disharmony that manifests via the use of ego-defense mechanisms to protect ego-states / personas / false identities will end if the steps are taken to be rid of one’s belief in ego-states / personas / false identities in the first place.
Any wonder - looking at all of the disharmony that follows ego-state assumption and ego-state defense and the personality disorders which follow - that sages had long advised persons to be free of all personality identification.
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES: PROJECTION
Consider a rock tossed by one person at another or "projected" at another person. When an ego-state feels that it is being interfered with or attacked (an act which is as impossible as attacking a mirage but which is nevertheless deemed to be an actual attack by those subsumed by their false personality identifications), the ego-state will usually go on the offensive.
It will inspire the hurling of words at others, and such verbal attacks involve attributing to others all of one’s own “personality liabilities” or “negative, personal traits.” In fact, it is almost always the one projecting those traits who displays them rather than the one being attacked.
(Yes, on some occasions, both may well have the traits or “liabilities.”)
A woman that has been observed over the years is clearly suffering from the Borderline Personality Disorder (P.D.), from the Narcissistic P.D., from the Sociopathic P.D., from the Histrionic P.D., and from the Schizoid-Avoidant P.D.
She did some online research in order to be able to “understand" (that is, critique / diagnose / condemn) her husband” rather than herself. She reported that her research revealed that “he is unpredictable and that sometimes he is close but is distant at other times; that he is an egomaniac; that he can be very mean and cruel; that he can’t control his emotions; and that he prefers to escape and avoid the things that he should be dealing with.”
Those familiar with both understand that he displays none of those traits but that it is she who displays them all regularly. (And yes, he does have issues begging to be dealt with - just not her issues which she has projected onto him.)
That is what projection looks like when at play, and its use usually evidences the fact that the one using projection is the one with no real insight and acknowledgement of one’s own “personality traits and liabilities and flaws.”
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES - IN ADDITION TO EGOTISM - IS DENIAL
Denial leads to a refusal to accept the truth and the facts about one’s relative existence and about one’s flaws. A common example of denial that is often cited involves alcoholics / addicts who have major problems but who can deny for years that they have any problem at all and who claim that they would do just fine if everyone else would leave them alone and stop picking on them.
As with all ego-defense mechanisms, certain of the nine basic personality types are at play, coming to the defense of other assumed identities as well. Type Ones, who think they are perfect, are especially prone to the use of denial.
When discussing the result of an enneagram personality inventory, many Enneagram coaches will gloss over liabilities and accent assets in order to keep clients hanging on and to keep the cash flow going. Here, only the facts and the truth will be shared (cash flow be damned); thus, it is quite common for those who are invited . . .
. . . to look at their flaws objectively in order
. . . to be free of those traits
to disappear after one session.
If persons have a high Type One (“The Perfectionist”) score, they are not going to view themselves objectively and they are going to attack or run away as fast as possible from anyone inviting them to consider the actual facts and the actual truth surrounding their words and behaviors.
Personality Type Threes are the kings and queens of denial, forever “putting a spin” on any fact or truth regarding them that does not enhance their image or that might interfere with their receiving applause and admiration from the masses.
Personality Type Sevens, the most prone to develop the Addictive Personality Disorder, are – as mentioned above – also quite prone to the use of denial.
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES: REGRESSION
An adult facing an uncomfortable truth or fact can “regress,” that is, can "return to one's childhood" and, thus, to childish behaviors. In the previous example where perfectionists are invited to see the error of their thoughts and words and actions, if they use regression to protect themselves (their “selves”) they will – like a child – run away from the facts and the truth.
Regression can also drive some persons to regress to the childish behaviors of going to bed and staying there or sulking or pouting or throwing a tantrum.
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES: ACTING OUT
Acting out is used by those who have no willingness to sit down and calmly discuss with others any issues that need to be resolved; instead, they turn to physical responses. The NFL player who has abused two sons on two different occasions – most recently beating a four-year old with a stripped tree branch and a belt to the point that the child required medical care – was using this ego-defense mechanism, sustaining the image of “The Disciplinarian,” “The Great Parent,” “The One in Control,” etc.
Personality Types Two are prone to such histrionic conduct, as are Type Eight Bosses, Control Freaks, etc. Consider mates who punch holes in sheetrock when they are arguing with a mate, or who even punch the mate in the face with a fist, or who throw an object at the mate, or who throw a temper tantrum, or who fire four pistol shots through the door of the bathroom where their mate is hiding from them.
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES: DISSOCIATION
Personality Type Nines are especially prone to using dissociation, comparable in some ways to denial but far more subtle. Here, in the cases of some that have been worked with, Enneagram test results, metabolic body rates, and observation have all combined to expose a very high rate of depression, yet some – when that is shared – either deny the fact or are so dissociated from reality that their actual condition does not register.
Thus, they have been heard to say: "I am NOT depressed!" (sounding like death-on-a-cracker even as they cannot see their own truth which others can readily see). Those playing the role of "The Spiritual Giant" or "The One Who Has Attained Perfect Peace" are very likely to dissociate from their depression or anger or lack of peace.
Those using dissociation can say, “I had a great childhood, a really happy childhood” when all of the facts show that the exact opposite is the case. It has been said that “people who have a history of any kind of childhood abuse (or neglect) often suffer from some form of dissociation. In extreme cases, dissociation can lead to a person believing they have multiple selves” (a.k.a., the Multiple Personality Disorder”).
It has also been said that “people who use dissociation often have a disconnected view of themselves in their world. In this manner, a person who dissociates can 'disconnect' from the real world for a time and live in a different world that is not cluttered with thoughts, feelings or memories that are unbearable.”
ANOTHER EGO-DEFENSE MECHANISM USED BY PERSONAS / EGO-STATES: COMPARTMENTALIZATION
It has been said of compartmentalization that it “is a lesser form of dissociation, wherein parts of oneself are separated from awareness of other parts and behaving as if one had separate sets of values." An example might be a person who has two totally-different value systems “that are distinct and un-integrated while remaining unconscious of the cognitive dissonance.”
An example might be someone who has built up a positive image in the community - only seen as being kind and caring and loving when in public - but behind closed doors their families only see a tyrant and a bully. (That is a common scenario with Personality Type Twos who also have a high Type Eight score: the Two is seen as a kind and generous helper but, when stressed or “holy,” disintegrates to the worse of a Type Eight and behaves like a sociopath . . . with varying degrees of severity among those types.)
Remember, the typical sociopath is not "a Ted Bundy, serial killer type." The typical sociopath is the controlling spouse, the overly-aggressive boss, the raging mate, or the unpredictable partner who can be kind and charming one moment but angry and hostile the next.
In a discussion fairly recently of what was revealed by a set of Enneagram test results, the Eight score was “through the roof,” but when that (and its implications) were pointed out to the person, she used compartmentalization, denial, and – finally – regression. The result: gone in a flash.
[Interestingly, the full-blown, truly-sociopathic Type Eights I’ve worked with have typically been quite willing to admit to all of the negative traits that manifest with that type, even laughing at how "spot on I nailed them" and their thought and behavior patterns. They just don’t care. But if a high Eight also has a high One score, then the self-concept of being perfect will result in what was just described above: those with that combination who are exposed to their facts and their truth are gone in a flash, driven to preserve the image they hold of themselves, namely, being flawless.]
THE CURSE OF HUMANITY
The wisest of all ages have long recognized that the curse of humanity is arrogance, a sense of entitlement, a sense of rightness in the right vs. wrong debate.
Narcissism and malignant narcissism (that being the kind of narcissism that is often exhibited by psychically unhealthy Personality Types Eights, many of whom exhibit one degree or another of sociopathic behavior) are among the key curses of humanity, and they are preceded by personality assignment and / or assumption and then being driven subsequently by the agendas of the various ego-states that persons assumed as identities.
If there is no ego-state, there will be no use of ego-defense mechanisms,
[Remember, personality forms in childhood, so ego-defense mechanisms are learned during childhood and are used from early on.]
If there were no use of ego-defense mechanisms, there would be no egotism, among others.
No ego = no egotism
It can be seen, therefore, that “being oblivious to all except yourself” continues because of
the use of ego-defense mechanisms
which can only come after
assuming ego-states as supposedly real selves / identities.
To be continued.
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