EGO-STATES: Either The Invisible Drivers or The Former Hijackers or The Eventual Destroyers, Part Four

FROM A SITE VISITOR: So the whole problem really begins with ego, right? Sam (PS Thanks for the blog site.)

F.: Henry David Thoreau suggested that most persons live “lives of quiet desperation.” An example of that is being observed in the case cited earlier in this series in which a woman is considering suicide because she is losing her “wife” label. Among the Realized, the quiet does often mark the relative existence but desperation mars none of it. The Realized merely see all exactly as it is yet still live in a contented, AS IF fashion that allows peace to happen whether “in relationship” or not, whether “in love” or not, or whether “married” or not. That is never the case with persons (the non-Realized).

Most persons move in and out of what they think are “personal relationships,” often settling into one that they think will be forever. That concept of “personal relationship” amounts to “duality to the second power,” so to speak, because “personal” is rooted in personas and because “relationship” requires a belief that there are two persons who are relating to each other (as opposed to the unicity being known). Were the unicity to be known, there would be nothing happening that could be taken “personally,” there would be no need to work on trying to “relate,” and there would be no ego or egotism driving all “interactions.”

However, since persons cannot witness objectively and see all exactly as it is, they operate in denial, claiming that “all is going along quite well, actually” and that “things in my life are as good as—or far better than—can be expected.” (If that were the case, why is it that as of January 2007, substance abuse rates are at an all-time high as persons try to escape the relative circumstances which they cannot cope with? Why is it that in the U.S., doctors are prescribing anti-depressants to over 10,000,000 women each year? And why is it that 25% of men and women are now abusing alcohol at a level that indicates a need for some level of treatment?)

Can Advaita lead to Realization which could provide a means by which "two" could function in a natural, "not-two" manner? Of course. Since few will ever Realize, though, is it likely that the relative problems that persons are experiencing in “personal relationships” will be reduced? Of course not. How could "two" who do not know the “not-two” possibly have any clue about what the term “love” is trying to point to?

How can persons who do not have the slightest clue about Who/What They Truly Are have any clear understanding of what “love”—or anything else—is? Since their “world” is nothing more than a distorted image of their own “I-consciousness,” and since that warped consciousness traps them in the false I / ego, and since that entrapment will motivate them to seek a perfect clone of themselves to “love,” all persons end up in love with self only. Several previous pointers are relevant in that regard:

Persons desiring to know what love is might benefit more (relatively speaking, of course) if they were able to understand what love is not.

What persons call "love" is the most magnificent experience of all; it is also the most horrendous experience of all. With such duality, how can that possibly be taken for the real? As for feeling or emotion, if love happens as a feeling, take the ride and watch the feelings rise and fall; if love happens as an emotion—that is, if it is being "experienced" by a person in an ego-state—prepare for war.

If such a discussion makes “you” feel uncomfortable to even consider the subject matter, find WHO is it that feels uncomfortable. And even if the discussion does make “you” feel uncomfortable, can you nevertheless relate to any part of the above?

For example, have you ever been convinced that you have really known someone—a friend, an employer, a spouse, a lover, whatever—only to find later that your impression or image of them was totally wrong and that maybe you had been totally fooled? When “the wife” becoming the “not-wife” was asked if her story could be shared anonymously on this site, she said, “If it might keep others from making the mistakes I made, then it’s fine with me.”

That supposes that, trapped as she was in a false identity, she chose to do what she did. It also supposes that if you are trapped in a false persona, you can have freedom of choice, if you can learn from her mistakes (which is not likely to happen either). Would anyone seriously believe that she chose the life she has lived for the last twenty years? Trapped as a result of assuming the false identity of “The Insecure and Dutiful Wife,” she acquiesced to a man’s demand that she abandon her natural instinct to have a child; that she work but never receive any of the pay for her work; that she assent to his daily demands for sex; and that she stand by in denial as he took another woman on trips and as he set up an apartment for the two of them. Now she claims that "he fooled her and didn’t love her," though "she loved him."

She loved him, or she entered into a co-dependent/dependent "relationship" and assumed multiple identities that required his presence to sustain them? Was that love that drove her to behave as she did in her relationship with him? Would love require the abandonment of natural instincts? Would love require that she forfeit the hope of having a child? Would love require the abandonment of Self? Would love require the forfeiture of all that is earned from one’s employment? Would love require that one place one’s head in the sand in order to maintain the status quo and status? Was that love she was showing, or was desire and fear being displayed as an ego-state was driving her and forcing her to place her relative existence on hold to please another and to prevent her from ever seeking the True and Authentic Self? Did she love him, or did she love the roles and the perks that came from sharing a house and a bed with a man she described as being "very handsome and very rich"?

Now, she wants to die without realizing that she has already been dead for 20 years to the degree that she lived a relative existence for someone else and without being true to Self. He had two lives; she had none. For her, the opportunity has finally come for the first time in two decades to actually Realize and then live a contented AS IF existence rather than to end the manifestation. But she would have to find the truth that these earlier considerations (based in non-duality) are pointing to:

“I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.” Oriah Mountain Dreamer

“It appears that where marriage is solemnized by the church and blessed by the priest, it may at the same time be surrounded with customs and ideas of a frivolous, superficial, and even prurient character. Love between a man and a woman is founded on the mating instinct and is not free from desire and self-seeking.” Charles Eastman

“I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to Your Self; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.” Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
THE FULL TREATMENT OF THE SUBJECT OF “RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS” IS AVAILABLE

Click CASTING LIGHT ON THE DARK SIDE OF RELATIONSHIPS

THE MESSAGE OF NON-DUALITY, From India and Asia to the “Americas,” Part Two

[Continued from 10 May 2006]

F.: Prior to finding the Advaita teachings, “floyd’s search” covered much of the globe. Certain wisdom shared by a Cherokee Grandmother caused the focus during Step Three of “The Seven Step Journey to Reality” to grind to a halt while spending several years of focusing on Native Teachings and arranging one (useless) meeting after another with one shaman/medicine man after another. Why "useless"? Now, the Original Understanding has been lost as much among the descendants of the indigenous peoples as among all other persons on the planet. Yet vestiges of the earlier logic and reason remain among some Native Americans. (For example, I sat with a full-blooded Cherokee who asked, “How is a Native American to feel when he hears white men on the television discussing all of the problems that are being created by ‘illegal aliens’? Do those doing all of that talking not know that it is they who are descended from this land’s original illegal aliens?”)

Yet the early teachings among the indigenous population would eventually became warped by spiritual intoxication as (understandable) fear of annihilation manifested alongside the notion of a “Supreme Creator-Savior” and overshadowed the Original Understanding of a no-concept, non-dual, unified view of Reality. (Since all Teachings of all philosophies and religions and spiritual movements eventually become warped when marred by personal agendas, it is the Original Understanding alone that seekers should seek.)

Ultimately, the Original Understanding can only be tapped into on an intuitive level, accessed via the “inner guru” or the “inner resource” that is nestled within the primitive brain-stem; however, the ability to tap into that resource requires a process of re-purification of consciousness…consciousness that has been so corrupted with ideas and concepts and dogma that 95% or more will never be able to access the inner, inexpressible (yet understandable) truth.

Some gurus or teachers share certain pointers that can trigger the cleansing process, yet even Maharaj predicted that only 1 in 100,000 who visited him would truly understand...a figure that he later changed to 1 in a million. Eventually, he laid the odds at being almost impossible for most, including those who sat at the feet of the master.

All of that having been noted, the message of non-duality can be found among some of the earlier sharings by indigenous teachers before the original message became warped even among most of their descendents:

ON ONENESS/THE UNICITY
[NOTE: The early Native American teachers spoke of “Walking in Balance.” According to the early teachings, “Walking in Balance” happens when the noumenal and the phenomenal are “in harmony”…that is, when it is understood that the I AM THAT and the I AM are one and not two, not “in conflict” and not “conflicted.”]

“Being Indian is an attitude…a way of being in harmony with all things and all beings. It is allowing the heart to be the distributor of energy on this planet; allowing feelings and sensitivities to determine where energy goes; bringing aliveness up from the Earth and from the Sky; putting it in and giving it out from the heart.” Brooke Medicine Eagle

“All of Creation is related...and whatever we do affects everything in the universe.” White Eagle

“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.” Chief Seattle

“The first peace, which is the most important, comes [from] within when [people] realize…their oneness with the universe. Above all you should understand that there can never be peace between nations until there is known that true peace which is within.” Black Elk

“I saw more than I can tell, and I understood more than I saw; for I was seeing…the shapes of things in the spirit, and the shape of all shapes as they must live together like one being.” Black Elk

“The hurt of one is the hurt of all.” Traditional Teaching

“The Indian prefers the soft sound of the wind darting over the face of the pond, the smell of the wind itself cleansed by a midday rain, or scented with pinion pine. The air is precious to the red man, for all things are the same breath—the animals, the trees, the man.” Chief Seattle

ON FREEDOM FROM PERSONAS/FREEDOM FROM self
“I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy—myself.” Traditional Lakota Teaching

“Earth, teach me humility—as blossoms are humble with beginning.” Ute Teaching

“Earth, teach me to forget myself—as melted snow forgets its life.” Ute Teaching

“I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to Your Self; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.” Oriah Mountain Dreamer

“It does not interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.” Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
MUCH OF THE NATIVE AMERICAN WISDOM COLLECTED ON THE “JOURNEY” IS SHARED IN THE MEDITATION GUIDES (WHICH SOME SEEKERS READ STRAIGHT THROUGH RATHER THAN ON A DAILY BASIS). INTERESTED IN ORDERING BOTH GUIDES AT A REDUCED RATE?

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