TODAY'S CONSIDERATIONS
The present focus continues with the discussion of the factors which contribute to the Ultimate Sickness in order to understand all of the components which a viable treatment plan must include.
Using excerpts from the book INSTABILITY / INSANITY: What the Advaita Teachings Can (and Cannot) Address
the insane and de-stabilizing effects of parental modeling are being discussed:
INSTABILITY / INSANITY: Assuming the Role of "The Parent" or "The Child," Part "A"
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj said that science would someday advance far enough to support both technically and systematically - as well as logically - the teachings of non-duality.
To that end, where science has advanced to that level and can be used to support the teachings of non-duality, they are shared here with seekers.
Because most of what persons on the planet call their "problems" are actually rooted in personality - and because sages for thousands of years have known that and have thus invited seekers to be free of the subconscious motivating factors that come with personality - the same invitation is offered here, regularly.
The more seekers understand about personality and how it functions (and how it "dys-functions") and how it robs them of choice by determining unconsciously their thoughts and words and deeds, the better the chance of ultimately becoming freed from such influence.
In addition to the nine basic personality types (or ego-states, false identities, motivating roles, personas, etc.), the next discussion will include three more: "The Parent," "The Adult" and "The Child" (P-A-C). Why?
Because the first two roles are major contributors to the instability and insanity which are now so widespread around the globe.
While each of those roles is usually associated with a particular "age-range," they are not age-specific at all. For example, many who are child-aged are being forced to assume "The Parent" role in an effort to help a suffering parent, such as when "The Mother" or "The Wife" "loses" "The Husband" who was also "The Father."
(The result of role-reversal in that scenario is that the child adopts the Type Two Personality of "The Helper," "The Rescuer," or "The Savior" and attracts only needy types or user types throughout the relative existence).
Additional evidence that the P-A-C roles are not age-specific is the fact that most persons who are "adult-age" on this planet actually act as if they are children. Why?
Recall that personality is formed by the age of six. Note that personality subconsciously determines thoughts and words and deeds. So any "adult-aged" person who has not become freed from the subconscious drive of personality will often behave as a six-year old.
Dr. Eric Berne studied the three ego-states of "The Parent," "The Adult" and "The Child" and developed a theory of personality around those three, seeing that all (non-Realized) persons - trapped as most are in those personas - will think, talk, and behave as one or the other of those ego-states (or as any of the three at any given time).
As a theory of personality, he described how people are structured psychologically, using the P-A-C model to do so and allowing the model to help explain how persons function and express their personality via their thoughts and their words and their behaviors.
[He actually revised Freud's teaching about the human psyche being composed of the id, the ego, and the superego and suggested that the three ego-states of P-A-C were largely shaped through childhood experiences, as are all personas / personalities.]
Berne noted that unhealthy childhood experiences can lead to persons being pathologically fixated in "The Child" and / or "The Parent" ego-states, bringing discomfort or misery and suffering to an individual (and to those dealing with that individual). The psychological problems generated by assumption of "The Child" and / or "The Parent" roles can manifest in a variety of forms, including many types of personality disorders which can lead to full-blown mental illness.
Berne considered how individuals interact with one another, and how the P-A-C ego-states affect each set of transactions. Unproductive or counterproductive transactions (relatively speaking) were considered to be signs of ego-state problems, as is the case with the non-duality teachings.
Berne saw that virtually everyone has something problematic to deal with because of their assumption of a variety of ego-states, and he saw that assuming "The Child" or "The Parent" role was especially detrimental. Why?
Those functioning in what he called "The Adult" mode or manner will observe, witness objectively, process, and will choose options that are rooted in reason and sanity; additionally, they are generally calm and are free of chaos and instability and drama and histrionics;
they are logical; they are in touch with their feelings but are non-emotional and (again, relatively speaking) they are non-self-defeating and non-self-destructive. None of that is the case with those being driven by "The Child" or "The Parent."
To see by contrast the traits of "The Child and or "The Parent" is to understand why those two types generate such instability and insanity and chaos. No matter their chronological age, persons driven subconsciously by "The Child" must talk and even dominate all conversations in order to continue to “exist”; must create noise, hating the silence;
will want to be indulged and even spoiled; will try to manipulate;
and will want to be taken care of, believing that they are entitled and - as a result - missing out on independence and total freedom because they create dependencies and co-dependencies with "A Caretaker" or "A Rescuer" Type, only to find out later what controlling persons those types are.
Additionally, one assuming "The Child" role, even when adult-aged, will try to get as much as possible; will whine and complain; will internalize anger and depression; will hide by isolating, by avoiding truth, by not communicating openly; and will make statements instead of asking questions.
These types will never really feel "okay," will be sad, will be uptight, will be conforming (at least outwardly when it suits them); will be withdrawn; will be defensive; will be insecure; and will be overly-serious and humorless.
How much chaos and instability and insanity will all of that generate? How much fun are those types to be around?
Next, those driven subconsciously by "The Parent" also must talk to “exist”; will talk down to others; will use sarcasm; will scold; will judge; will criticize; will try to control and bully and dominate; and will make statements instead of asking mature questions.
Overall, therefore, these types will be hyper-critical, domineering, controlling, fault-finding, judgmental, sarcastic, blaming, and shaming.
How much chaos and instability and insanity will all of that generate? How much fun are those types to be around?
The alternative?
Functioning in "an adult-like mode" that does not have to talk and that can enjoy the silence; that engages others from a mature level; that asks questions rather than constantly directing or manipulating others with statements; that speaks to others as equals; and, again, that is calm, free of chaos, free of instability, and free of drama and histrionics;
that are logical; sane; stable; that are in touch with their feelings but are non-emotional and (again, relatively speaking) non-self-defeating and non-self-destructive; that are capable of loving / Loving unconditionally (as opposed to "The Parent" types who love conditionally and, thus, not at all; and as opposed to "The Child" types who love only self).
How much chaos and instability and insanity will all of that generate? How much fun are those types to be around?
Additionally, the P-A-C roles reinforce the other basic personality types and the other assumed personas that humans adopt, creating via personality even greater barriers and obstacles to Truth and freedom and peace and stability and sanity. That next.
To be continued.
Please enter into the silence of contemplation.
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