TODAY'S CONSIDERATIONS
The present focus continues with the discussion of the factors which contribute to the Ultimate Sickness in order to understand all of the components which a viable treatment must have.
Using excerpts from the book INSTABILITY / INSANITY: What the Advaita Teachings Can (and Cannot) Address
the insane and de-stabilizing effects of parental modeling are discussed:
INSTABILITY / INSANITY: Assuming the Role of "The Parent" or "The Child," Part "C"
Many versions of Advaita Vedanta suggest that SELF-Inquiry is the key to the understanding. Those offering that teaching suggest that You must find That Which You Are, and early on, Maharaj was among hose sharing that message.
Eventually, however, he said that SELF-Inquiry is not necessary at all if one completes a thorough self-inquiry, finds all of the false selves which are being assumed as identities, and casts them all aside. If that happens, then one can abide freely and spontaneously and - as is the case with every other living thing on the planet except for humans - can avoid a lifetime of being embroiled with the work of finding "That Which You Are" and can become involved instead with the joy of merely being (as opposed to believing that you are "being this" or "being that") and merely abiding naturally.
The same applies to finding the proper treatment for the Ultimate Sickness, using the Ultimate Medicine to be healed once and for all, and then being done with treatment once and for all and abiding naturally.
Some may read the words shared here regarding personality and the way that the basic personality types reinforce the assumption of "The Parent" role and / or "The Child" role (and the way that those two reinforce the assumption of other assumed personalities) and not be able to relate.
If you are willing to uncover all which can subconsciously drive and control and determine your thoughts and words and deeds, then a thorough and honest self-inquiry - guided by a "realized teacher" - must happen.
To that end, you are invited to engage in a self-inquiry which might uncover any "Parent" and / or "Child" influences by answering the following questions and then understanding that the relative existence can unfold far more smoothly and peacefully if those influences come to an end. So, please consider the following and answer YES or NO:
Sometimes I am driven in the home and / or in the workplace to play “The Parent” role when I want to control, criticize, judge, evaluate, talk down to or scold others. YES? or NO?
Sometimes “The Parent” role will activate if it senses that it’s not being shown proper respect. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, I play “The Parent” role, trying to exert control, and that creates problems in my personal relationships. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Parent” role shows up when I’d like to direct traffic; make people drive as they should; correct others; reform everyone; demand perfection from others; and change the world. YES? or NO?
I can see that “The Parent” sometimes shows up when I replay parent or authority figure “recordings” from my childhood (or when I play “tapes” being recorded now as I still allow authority figures to control and direct my thoughts, words, and deeds). YES? or NO?
I can see “The Parent” sometimes shows up when I become angry if people challenge me or “talk back” or offer suggestions that run counter to my desires or try to interfere with the way that I am trying to address my fears. YES? or NO?
Sometimes “The Parent” shows up in a desire to have power and to control. YES? or NO?
Sometimes I see that much of what I think and say and do is just a replaying of old “Parent tapes.” YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Parent” shows up when I want to exert all necessary force in order to try to get my way or make people do what I want them to do. YES? or NO?
I can see that during my early years, my parents provided less opportunity for me to be a carefree child and instead required that I behave more like a parent far sooner than anyone should. YES? or NO?
I can see that during my early years, my parents required that I behave in a rigid, serious and, often, even humorless fashion, shifting me away from being childlike to behaving more like some stiff and solemn grownups behave. YES? or NO?
Sometimes “The Child” shows up when I want to . . .
. . . express anger. YES? or NO?
. . . be spoiled. YES? or NO?
. . . receive attention (especially with excessive noise / excessive talk). YES? or NO?
. . . refuse to look at my own shortcomings. YES? or NO?
. . . believe that I have found all of my shortcomings but have not really even scratched the surface. YES? or NO?
. . . throw tantrums rather than remain calm and relaxed. YES? or NO?
. . . express righteous indignation over the way I have been treated or slighted. YES? or NO?
. . . pout or sulk or refuse to discuss issues or merely withdraw and give others the silent treatment rather than communicate. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Child” appears and complains when he has not received the level of attention he thinks he deserves. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Child” shows up when I reject financial sanity and refuse to live within a budget. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Child” shows up when I handle money immaturely and / or turn over control of my finances to someone else. YES? or NO?
Sometimes "The Child" shows up when I want to depend on others to take care of me rather than take care of myself. YES? or NO?
I can see that “The Child” sometimes shows up when I do not question the content of early "tapes." YES? or NO?
I can see “The Child” sometimes shows up when I don’t get my way and get angry. YES? or NO?
I can see “The Child” sometimes shows up when I become angry if people challenge me or “talk back” or offer suggestions that run counter to my desires or try to interfere with the way that I am trying to address my fears. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Child” shows up when I take the content of those early “tapes” as “truth,” even if evidence to the contrary arises. YES? or NO?
I understand that as “The Child,” I made "recordings" about things that bothered me.
I also understand that now - if some emotional trauma or hurt or slight or pain from childhood shows up - those "old tapes" start playing again and I immediately revert to “The Child” and experience the same emotional feelings and reactions that I experienced as a child (causing me to interact with others in a childish fashion rather than in a mature and logical fashion). YES? or NO?
I can see that, when that happens, I sometimes experience emotional intoxication and will react in a childish, illogical, unreasonable fashion. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Child” shows up when I do things that are not in the best interest of my health. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Child” shows up when I think I’ve improved enough or when I think I don’t need to change or grow anymore than I already have. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Child’s” tendency to be dependent or co-dependent has prevented me from being totally free. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Child” shows up because, even if I gave up certain dependencies, I have now just substituted new dependencies in their place. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, I’ll let people put me into “The Child” role if I think it will provide an “easier way” or “a better lifestyle” for me. YES? or NO?
Sometimes I’ll let people put me in “The Child” role if it results in others meeting my financial needs or providing what I think I am entitled to. YES? or NO?
Sometimes “The Child” shows up as a result of being frustrated by not having power or control. YES? or NO?
Sometimes “The Child” shows up when I don’t want to accept the consequences of my own actions. YES? or NO?
Sometimes “The Child” shows up when I blame others for problems that I caused for myself. YES? or NO?
Sometimes, “The Child” shows up when I don’t want to exercise or be active. YES? or NO?
Sometimes “The Child” shows up because I accept being treated like a child and allowing someone else to control me when she / he comes at me as “The Parent." YES? or NO?
Sometimes I see that much of what I think and say and do is just a "replaying" of “Child tapes.” YES? or NO?
Sometimes I see that much of what I feel is a result of something that triggers my “Child tapes.” YES? or NO?
Sometimes "The Child" shows up when I blame others for the way I feel rather than finding the real cause of my unhappiness. YES? or NO?
So . . .
. . . do you see that, if you continue to allow those "old tapes" to determine what you think, say, feel, and do that you will still be restless and irritable and miserable in spite of all your past work to improve and to be at peace? YES? or NO?
. . . are you seeing how freedom and happiness can be interrupted by all of the beliefs and concepts that are rooted in programming and conditioning? YES? or NO?
. . . are you seeing any effects of your old programming and conditioning and acculturation and domestication? YES? or NO?
. . . are you seeing that, no matter how much "personal or religious or spiritual or growth work" you've done in the past to improve, there can still be some hidden things that you need to uncover since they can also make you restless and discontented and even miserable? YES? or NO?
. . . are you seeing why it makes sense to spend time trying to uncover all of those hidden things that still drive your thoughts and feelings and actions and reactions? YES? or NO?
. . . are you seeing how you would be more effective in dealing with people if you uncover these things, stay aware of them, and continue to address them? YES? or NO?
What you do not acknowledge, you will not remove, and those things that you do not remove which are causing misery and pain and suffering will continue to do so.
For a time, certain miserable physical symptoms were manifesting here. Finally, the diagnosis was made: cancer of the colon. Until the cause of misery and pain and suffering was diagnosed, there was no option other than to try to treat the symptoms instead of the cause.
With the masses, certain miserable symptoms manifest as a result of having no ability to choose, even as persons believe that choices are being made. When personality is subconsciously and unconsciously controlling thoughts and words and actions, no ability to choose exists.
If persons meet a "realized teacher," then the diagnosis will be made and it will often include the fact that the Ultimate Sickness exists. That sickness is rooted in illusions, delusions, and identification with a body and a "mind" and multiple personalities along with the other influences being discussed in this series.
Consider, though, the effects of assuming a variety of personalities / identities.
Professionals consider the "Multiple Personality Disorder" to be one of the more serious mental illnesses that exists, and the masses almost all suffer from that disorder because they have adopted a variety of false identities / personas / personalities.
Those can include:
"The Parent," "The Child," "The Perfectionist," "The Helper, Savior, Rescuer," "The Performer," "The Image-Maker," "The Idealizer," "The Individualist," "The Rebel," "The Withdrawer," "The Analyst," "The Avoider," "The Dependent One," "The Loyalist," "The Fearful One," "The Indecisive One" or "The Vacillating One," "The Adventurer," "The Gourmet," "The Pleasure Seeker," "The Pain-Avoider," "The Boss," "The Aggressive Controller," "The Dominator," "The Enslaver,""The Confrontation / Responsibility Avoider," "The Feeling Eluder," "The Evader of Being Upset," "The Mediator," "The Accommodator," "The Passive Controller," or "The Abdicator."
Add to that list the hundreds of other roles assigned or adopted: "The Good Boy / Girl," "The Bad Boy, / Girl," "The Student," " The Lover," "The Spouse," "The Employee / Employer," "The Neighbor," "The Friend," ad infinitum.
As with the cancer mentioned earlier, if the cause(s) of misery and pain and suffering are not found, then the result will be an effort to try to treat the symptoms instead of the cause(s).
Persons try to treat the symptoms of the Ultimate Sickness with money or even wealth, with drugs, alcohol, work, working out, sex, "love," accumulation, shopping, going-doing-zooming, generating chaos to get the adrenals pumping . . . ad infinitum.
Among humans, the failure to find that which is truly but subconsciously determining their thoughts and words and deeds will assure that misery and suffering and pain will come.
The Ultimate Medicine awaits, but few will ever find one that dispenses that treatment. So it is, to the misfortune of the masses, but that need not be the case with you.
To be continued.
Please enter into the silence of contemplation.
[NOTE: The four most recent posts are below. You may access all of the posts in this series and in the previous series and several thousand other posts as well by clicking on the links in the "Recent Posts and Archives" section.]
In addition to the five non-duality books made available without charge by Andy Gugar, Jr. (see “FREEBIES” above), you can now access nearly 2,900 posts for any topics of interest to you.
