TODAY'S CONSIDERATIONS
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To continue with the reply to the question, "So what else is this deal all about?" some answers have already been offered in the eBook WHEN ONLY THREE HOURS OF MANIFESTATION REMAIN (The "Final" Talks Of Floyd Henderson)
Today, answer #16 to the question "What is this non-duality deal all about, anyway?" is this:
Above all: be love, but then live in an "as if" fashion so that you can enjoy Love as a relative expression of Absolute, Real Love as well
(Part Two: Real Love vs. Not-Real Love)
With the non-dual teachings / non-teachings, words are first used to point to what is NOT; never is What IS addressed first. "The realized" knows that Truth cannot be found by beginning with a search for Truth.
The search begins first with a search for all distortions, misperceptions, falsehoods, illusions, and delusions that have been unquestioningly accepted as fact in the past.
When every lie is seen to be a lie, when every concept is seen to be false, when all worldly and spiritual knowledge is seen to be nothing more than learned ignorance, it is at that point then that Truth will explode into awareness like gunpowder touched off by a spark.
The approach to “seek first the false” applies to all non-duality subject matter, so the same approach will be used as the discussion of True Love vs. false love begins. So, what is love NOT?
1. Is it possible that Love is NOT the love-to-be that ego-states experience? "The Husband” loves-to-be "The Husband” so much that when “The Wife” reports that she is leaving, 59% of their male partners in the U.S. kill the one intent upon leaving. When awareness of authenticity is lost below the layers of personas that persons wrongly take to be who they are, then a "perceived threat" to an ego-state will be mistaken for an actual threat. The result is that the person (in this example “The Husband”) believes so strongly that he is being attacked that he is driven to strike out in what he subconsciously takes to be “self-defense” (specifically, in “defense of his false self”).
2. Is it possible that Love is NOT the love-of-self that drives persons to seek “a compatible partner”? Many heterosexual persons actually want an opposite-sex version of themselves. Many homosexual persons want a same-sex version of themselves. Persons are so in love with themselves—with their false “selves” and false identities—that they believe that they can only be happy if they find other persons to associate with who mirror them . . . who think as they think, feel as they feel, and believe as they believe.
Any deviation from that pattern will be grounds for war, either among individuals or among individuals comprising nations. The nations with the most arrogant in their populations evidence the belief with proclamations such as: “You need to follow our political system” (e.g., “democracy”); “you need to adopt our economic system” (e.g., “capitalism”); and “you need to adopt our religious beliefs” (e.g. “our Christian beliefs, our Islamic beliefs,” etc.)
3. Is it possible that Love in NOT “the missing ingredient in your life” that can bring you happiness if attained? All absence of happiness and all presence of misery is rooted in persona-based perceptions of need, of desires, and of fears. Try to name another area that generates more desire or more fear than “love.” Try to name anything else sought out so vigorously in order to meet perceived needs (that are not truly needs at all but are merely more “wants”). Few areas of your relative existence have superseded “love” in fostering desire, fear, short-term happiness, and long-term misery.
4. Is it possible that Love is NOT the gateway to having your needs and wishes met? Your needs are perceived and the actual driving force behind your desires cannot be seen until well along "the path" to Realization.
5. Is it possible that Love is NOT a tool to be used for manipulation of “others” or “another” to gain more or to satisfy your sense of entitlement . . . the sense that you are entitled to be taken care of or that you deserve more than you have? Happiness begins when the search for more goes and a contentment with less comes. Happiness becomes fixed when nothing is desired. It reaches a new height during AS IF living when the Void is enjoyed. It reaches the ultimate bliss after it is seen that the Void IS the fullness.
6. Is it possible that Love is NOT “caring enough” to meet the needs and desires of “another”? That is attachment. That is co-dependency. That is self-service disguised as "service to others." That is ego-state defense. That is delusion. And more often than not, if you dig one layer below what many claim to be their “altruistic giving,” what is revealed is a hidden agenda to "get" and the desire to serve self as referenced above.
The drive among the masses to accumulate follows twenty years of early programming. The shift toward true happiness begins when it is seen that one is left with a sense of emptiness in spite of all that has been accumulated, when one enters into Self-Inquiry, when one finds the Real, and when de-accumulation then happens spontaneously.
7. Is it possible that Love is NOT because of? The closest that "love" could be to what is Real happens when it is not because of but more often is in spite of instead.
8. Is it possible that your belief systems about love, needs, and “relationships” are NOT that which is the answer to all your problems but will instead almost always become an additional source of even more misery? How often in your own experience has "Mr. Right" or "Ms. Right" eventually been revealed to be "Mr. Incredibly Wrong!" or "Ms. Unbelievably Wrong!"?
9. Is it possible that Love is NOT that which results when your limbic brain system releases pleasure-producing chemicals when you are attracted to someone? That part of the brain recognizes the familiarity of your “caretakers,” ignoring whether that caretaking was effective or harmful, relatively speaking. It is a chemical reaction, not a “love-reaction,” when “others” attract you because of a subconscious response that you can neither trigger willingly nor halt on your own.
10. Is it possible that Love is NOT the “repetition compulsion” that drives persons to recreate unhealthy relationship models from the past (with a hidden agenda of bringing about what you believe would be a more positive outcome)? Suppose you’re a young woman now whose father during your youth could not express love. Are you seeking men with a fatherly-image who seem willing to love you unconditionally? Are you taking that to be “love” when you're really addressing a subconscious need that is rooted in childhood disappointments?
[Relatedly, have you ever seen a person who is only attracted, over and over again, to psychos and who rejects all persons who are fairly healthy in terms of psychic development and integration? Investigate the domestication and conditioning that such a person was exposed to in the childhood home and the causes behind the mystery of "Why does he / she repeatedly go for those types?" or "Why do I repeatedly go for those types?" will usually be revealed.]
Furthermore, is True Love ever needy, really? Absolutely not. Are you from a broken home and are now being driven subconsciously to try to form a family and to “get it right” this time? Are you assuming erroneously that it is Real Love that is driving that desire?
11. Is it possible that Love is NOT real if it drives self-destructive behavior or if it drives you to try to please at any cost . . . even the cost of never finding out who YOU truly Are as you subjugate yourself (and Your Self) to another person?
12. Is it possible that Love is NOT the purely physical response that automatically drives all species to propagate?
13. Is it possible that Love is NOT that which is a product of the many subconscious and unconscious factors that drive persons to try to treat with "love" the plethora of mental and emotional issues that need addressing?
14. Is it possible that Love is NOT that which drives you to expend so much of your energy in an effort to find something that will heal the wounds of your childhood trauma and / or your adulthood trauma?
15. Is it possible that Love is NOT that which drives persons to unite in order to feel whole? Are you aware that those drives are rooted in not knowing the unicity, in imagining that the duality of “separation” is "real," and in believing that the duality of "aloneness" or "apartness" are “real?” If you complete the "Seven-Step Journey to Reality" (with Floyd or some other guide or using the video available below) you will understand that the word "aloneness" is a corruption of the original term, "all-oneness."
16. Is it possible that Love is NOT what it is taken to be by anyone involved in “self” (personas, false selves) nor by anyone who has not fully realized, nor by anyone who has not come to know the unicity of all via Awareness of that which is authentic and real?
17. Is it possible that Love is NOT what it is taken to be by persons who are unaware of the selflessness beyond this manifestation?
18. Is it possible that Love is NOT that which persons are driven to search for as a result of the desires, the perceived emotional needs, and the fears of their ego-states?
19. Is it possible that Love is NOT that which drives persons to try to find a partner to provide now what they wanted in childhood but did not get?
20. Is it possible that Love is NOT that which is supposed to meet regularly your physical desires and is NOT that which is supposed to provide for your economic welfare?
21. Is it possible that one's desire to buy you with money - to have you sell yourself - is (a) NOT at all a display of how much that person must surely love you and is (b) NOT evidence of how fantastic you must surely be?
Is it possible, instead, that a monetary or material offer - no matter how nobly or philanthropically or altruistically or "lovingly" the proposition is packaged - is itself evidence of that person's narcissism-based arrogance, of that person's desire to own and possess and jealously control, and of that person's propensity to downgrade you (along with any others whom that person has likely been able to buy before you)?
What other beliefs need to be abandoned in order for You to look objectively at your past and present beliefs and thoughts and behavioral patterns in regard to relationships and "love" and then be able to differentiate between what Real Love is vs. what Real Love is not?
To be continued.
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