Obstacle #12: "The Goldilocks Syndrome"

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Obstacle #12: "The Goldilocks Syndrome"

Consider the enormity of the obstacles which one who works for 20 or 40 or 80 years with seekers of the non-dual understanding will witness and which led Maharaj - after decades of working with seekers - to guesstimate that only "1 out of 10,000,000" will "get this":

A term which has been coined and used occasionally here encapsulates a great deal of what is discussed in terms of the causes and symptoms of the human condition which is marked so often by chaos and misery and suffering and pain. 

The term is "The Goldilocks Syndrome." Goldilocks, from the story "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" is the incarnation of many of the personality traits that make the relative existence miserable; displays the behaviors and attitudes that generate relationship problems with couples, neighbors, and other nations; and personifies the beliefs that bring about most of the misery and suffering on the planet. 

For those not familiar with the story, a young blond girl trespasses on the property of a family of bears and invades their home while they are out for a walk. She eats their breakfast porridge, complaining about one being too hot, the other being too cold, and the third being just right.

She tries three chairs and two are not right but a smaller one is perfect, yet she breaks that chair which was really too small for her size. She then goes into the bear's bedroom and tries their beds, complaining that one is too hard and that one is too soft but that the other is just right. 

With that, she takes a nap, not feeling the least bit of concern about trespassing on someone else's land and entering their home; not feeling the least concern about stealing their food; not feeling troubled at all about breaking their property; and not feeling uneasy at all about using their possessions without consent. (Remind you of any of the behaviors of xenophobic, colonizing nations discussed earlier?) 

When the girl is discovered by the bears, she simply runs away. She had done her damage and - obviously self-absorbed and driven by a sense of entitlement - feels no remorse, no concern, and no regrets about the chaos or harm she has generated or about the mess she has left behind for others to clean up. End of story.

Talk about an amazing sense of entitlement, an amazing level of the Sociopathic Personality Disorder, and an amazing level of the Psychopathic Personality Disorder, among others. So note first the traits that reveal which personality disorders are driving her: 

1. There is her moodiness-driven complaining ("too hard, too soft, just right") which might be caused by the Cyclothymic Personality Disorder or contributed to by the Bipolar Disorder. With both of those disorders, there is almost always the accompanying Idealization Disorder (the third bowl of porridge, the third chair, and the third bed being the ones that are perfect . . . that are just right). 

That disorder inspires what is called "upgrading," that is, "upgrading illusions." That also indicates that the Perfectionistic Personality Disorder is present, which usually ends up blocking judgmental persons from ever really being satisfied and which triggers the Devaluation Personality Disorder (which is referred to here as "downgrading"). When that activates, more instability is generated as what was considered ideal is suddenly thought to be totally unacceptable. 

(In the relative existence of dualities, flux is guaranteed, and so is constant alternating between extremes.) 

Evident also are some of the other personality disorders that cause instability and relative problems (all of which show why Advaitin teachers for millennia have encouraged the abandonment of all personality):

The Antisocial Personality Disorder; The Avoidant Personality Disorder; the Borderline Personality Disorder (marked by a pervasive instability of mood, causing problems with interpersonal relationships; fears of abandonment; and chronic feelings of emptiness, threats, anger, and self-damaging behavior); 

the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (characterized by grandiosity, a lack of social empathy, interpersonal exploitativeness, and also a sense of entitlement); and the Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). The OCPD is characterized by person's rushing into action without taking the time to consider all of the relative pro's and con's involved, behaving in illogical and unreasonable and immature ways; 

it is also characterized by one being emotionally-constricted; unduly rigid; stubborn and controlling; perfectionistic and preoccupied with trivial details; being overly-concerned with having everything done one's own way; and being excessively-devoted to work and productivity. 

2. There is in her behavior the widespread self-centeredness among the non-realized, which the understanding can address in some cases. 

3. There is the arrogance and the sense of entitlement and the preoccupation with self and with one's own desires which cause problems among persons on a local, state, national and international basis. 

4. There is at least an implication of xenophobia, her rights being more important than the rights of others. And the analysis could go on and on. 

Most persons on the planet are as unstable and as moody and, often, just as arrogant as Goldilocks; moreover, instability precedes the problems that persons have in relationships and contributes to those internal disharmonies that account for the awful feelings (or emotions) which persons try - or not - to deal with on a daily basis. 

Yet most do not want to complete the full process required to be free. And one reason that many do not want to be free is because they are suffering from this mental illness called here "The Goldilocks Syndrome": they are willing to readily give up what they think is "too this" or "too that" but unwilling to give up what they think is "just right" - just perfect at any particular moment. 

The insanity of that is this: the only constant in the relative existence is change, so whatever the distorted seeing takes to be perfect now will change shortly.

The Laws of Thermodynamics are not suspended either by ignoring them or denying them. What has come together will come apart, be it "you with the perfect mate," "the perfect relationship," the "perfect locale," "the perfect body" . . . whatever. The soup that Goldilocks found to be too hot, if left alone patiently for a few minutes, could have been "just right." 

But that condition of just right-ness would soon have given way to soup that was perceived to be too cold. Function as a non-Realized person and it will be revealed that any and all satisfaction is fleeting.

To be totally free is to be free of trying to manipulate the environment or the body - or other bodies - to one's own self-will and instead merely witnessing whatever happens spontaneously. The freedom that precedes peace can happen "now" and "here," not "later" and "there." 

It comes when "The Goldilocks Syndrome" has been transitioned, where there is a position of neutrality and where no dualistic judgments are being drawn about things being "too hard vs. too soft" or "too hot vs. too cold." It comes when the equally-as-delusional-notion that "something is just right and will always remain that way" is transcended. 

Trapped in "The Goldilocks Syndrome," some will believe that the body in the mirror is too hard, and some will conclude that the body in the mirror is too soft. A few will think that the body has yet reached the perfect state but will, nevertheless, develop an egotism-based appreciation for its current condition; others will think their bodies will never be good enough and will therefore suffer the relative misery of "low self-esteem"; but few will ever agree with Goldilocks that they have found something that is "just right." 

Only extreme narcissists believe that to be the case, and when such narcissists meet, “The Dance of Physicality” begins as some use the body to attract the type of partners who will respond to image and looks alone and who will thus satisfy their corporeal desires; some use the body during the dance as they try to attain either long-term financial security or short-term financial compensation; and some use the body as a means to treat psychological issues around control or esteem. 

Only the Absolute is a "non-moving" target. All else will be in constant flux, and the "joy" of things perceived to be "just right" will give way to the misery of those same things soon perceived to be "all wrong."

To be continued.

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Here, with those who are still driven to talk about "god," the "Son of god," the "Holy Spirit," "Buddha," "Krishna," etc., etc., etc., the invitation to them is to view those as verbs, not nouns.

THE EXPLANATION

If looked at as nouns, they point to illusions and are, therefore, a total waste of time to even discuss; if looked at as verbs which are resulting in certain sane but rare behaviors among humanity, then they are worthy of some attention during the relative existence.

Meaning? There are members of certain groups who say things such as "My concept of god in the past was of a weak god, an absentee god, A Santa Claus-type god, a mean, punishing, vindictive god, etc. Today, I am in close contact with a loving and caring god whom I worship and praise and glorify and give thanks to."

The reply to that usually goes like this: "If you are in contact with a god that wants to be worshipped and praised and glorified, then you're dealing with someone like yourself - a narcissist - and hanging out with narcissists will never bring an end to your narcissism (that narcissism evidenced by the fact that you think you are "godly").

Next, in the phrase 'loving and caring god,' any supposed god that truly had her or his act together would tell you that the totally irrelevant part of that phrase is 'god' and that the only part that is relevant is the "loving and caring" part.

"That is, a non-narcissistic their god / their goddess would say, "I care not an iota about being worshipped and praised and glorified by you or anyone else. How arrogant and insecure and needy would I have to be to want that? Forget the man-made, dreamed up noun 'god' and focus on the 'god as a verb' understanding and then go forth and let loving and caring be verbs - not adjectives - and let them generate the act of love and the act of caring and let those actions manifest through you."

Yeshu'a (Jesus) and Pope John Paul II and Pope Francis were spot on:

"No one shall ever see 'the kingdom of heaven.' It is within"

--Yeshu'a (Jesus)

and

"Heaven and earth shall fade away."

--Yeshu'a (Jesus)

and

"Heaven and hell are not geographic places

but are states of mind, nothing more than

concepts dreamed up by men."

--Pope John Paul II

"There is no hell."

--Pope Francis, the current pope

in an interview with journalist Eugenio Scalfari,

a writer used by the Pope to issue off the record

teachings which become a part of the Papal Magisterium.

[That said, would that the popes who have shown the courage to reject a core concept of their dogma - namely, "hell" - would find the additional courage required to question the very existence of their institution in light of the centuries-long cover-up of their history of raping children and in light of the mental and emotional and psychological scarring of billions of their members past and present.

And that need for courage also applies as questions need to be asked about why so many other sky cults are still being supported and allowed to continue to exist as well. When certain types of programming and conditioning have been shown to blind the masses, they should end. Will they? Not likely. Why?

Because what the masses think and say and do is most influenced by the international crime families which hold sway over the masses as criminals conduct their planet-wide operations. What are the major international crime families and which are the most influential and have the largest memberships?

The Mafia / La Cosa Nostra; the Catholic Church (with it 1.2 billion followers) whose Vatican Bank worked for decades with the Mafia while laundering mob earnings (for a 15% all-profit charge by the Bank); Protestant and Evangelical Churches (with over 1.2 billion followers) like the one I was raised in where the youth director molested and sexually assaulted young girls; big business which has long created environments in which people have been abused; powerful political bodies like the U.S. Congress, etc., etc., etc.)

With all of those crime families, neither the followers nor the leadership ever voluntarily step down or shut down their criminal activities. Be they gangs, organized crime families, religions, big business, politicians, etc., they all want control and they all want power and they all want money, and nothing internal will interfere with the driving forces at play.

The masses must demand that all those in charge must step down and their groups and institutions must shut down, and there's the real problem because the continuation of their crimes are enabled not as much by the people running such crime organizations as they are enabled by the masses of people who - wanting some perceived "payoff" - remain involved with them and give them money and support them and aid and abet the continued existence of those criminal enterprises and thus facilitate the ability of church criminals and political criminals and other types of criminals to continue to commit their crimes.]

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