F.: “First, questioning is the proper step for you right now. The assumption of ego-states as identities is always accompanied by egotism, as well as the other ego-state-defense-mechanisms that phony roles use, in order to try to sustain the illusion that they're real. Egotism is always present once persons assume a phony identity. So what are some signs that you’re “trapped in one or more ego-states”? Use the lifestyle of the deer as a test to contrast (a) natural, ego-free, AS IF living with (b) the lifestyle of personas and their accompanying egotism:
A deer does not want to be seen and does not want to “stand out.” It will typically do what is required to blend in with its environment and “fade into the background.” A deer does not like to make noise and does not want to be heard. It can move along a thousand-yard path through the woods and tread so gently that a human fifty steps away would not hear it. A deer has no “mind” so it engages in no abnormal thinking. A deer lives naturally, not unnaturally and not supernaturally. A deer does not care about appearance, is not cruel, is not envious, does not feel entitled, is not afraid of the quiet, is not impulsive, is not religious or spiritual, is not self-contradictory or moody or unpredictable or unstable, does not overeat, does not like chaos, and does not eat fermented berries in an effort to become intoxicated and to “escape.”
By contrast, a persona that is working to establish and maintain a false image wants to be seen. Persons typically do what is required to stand out and to be noticed. Persons exhibit arrogance and egotism, and as they work to create and maintain an image, they want to be heard. Persons hate the silence and love the noise…especially the noise that they generate, including speeches, informal talks, sermons, diatribes, loud music, lectures, appearances, screaming, shouting, etc. Persons, with their incessantly active “minds,” are engaged regularly in their abnormal thoughts. Persons live unnaturally or supernaturally instead of naturally and are often addicted to chaos. They often use substances or certain behaviors to try to escape, or at least to forget temporarily, the misery or suffering or boredom or turmoil that comes with all the roles that they have assumed and are playing.
Persons trapped in their ego-based narcissism must surround themselves with other persons in order to have an audience. They need to be seen, and they require constant praise and applause and positive feedback. The deer experience no narcissism. Narcissism is labeled as a “personality disorder” by professionals, and rightly so. Humans must be attached to one or more personas in order to exhibit the traits of the disorder. As a result of their egotism and body-mind-personality identification, persons care about appearance, can be charming one moment and cruel the next, are envious, feel entitled, are afraid of the quiet, are impulsive, often assume religious or spiritual personas, and are self-contradictory or moody or unpredictable as a result of living a lie.
To know if you are trapped in one or more ego-states, find the honest answer to the question, “Are you living in the fashion of a deer, or are you living the way that all persons live in their relative existence?” Please enter the silence of contemplation.