From a site visitor: “You’ve mentioned personas as being at the core of all relative existence problems and you’ve mentioned the high divorce rate in the U.S. It appears my wife and I may be headed there. Is there anything in the teachings that can help?”
F.: There are certain “relative existence problems” that do not involve personas, but usually personas are—as you say—at the core of most. An example of problems that don’t deal have personas at the core might be the damage caused by tornadoes and hurricanes; yet even then personas are typically exposed when humans use their supernatural beliefs to try to explain totally natural events. Last week, a man living in the Midwest stood with a reporter before the remains of what had been his house but had been reduced to a slab littered with the remaining debris. The tornado that destroyed the home was a natural occurrence, but once this actor was placed on a national stage, the supernatural role that he had assumed said, “The good Lord wanted it so he took it…nothing I can do about it but rebuild.” The fact that he believes his “Lord” to be “good” after having destroyed his home exposes the dualistic thinking that accompanies personas (“good” vs. “bad”). He also exposed his religious programming—his learned ignorance—by expressing a belief...that a Lord is "good" even if he decides arbitrarily to destroy your home.
The invitation to you is to try a different tactic: try to separate the perceptions you have about what is happening in your relative existence from the reality and to allow the events to unfold without overlaying any unnatural or supernatural perspectives on these relative events you’re facing. Too, the pointer is offered that you can witness these proceedings as they happen without complicating the relative events, which is what will result if your personas drive you to take actions that would only exacerbate your problems. Next, search at the top of this page the phrase “as if” and see what it is like post-Realization to live "as if" any of this matters while knowing full well that it doesn’t. A different perspective might bring some relative relief.
That said, let the focus move from problems that evolve from natural influences to the “relative existence problems” that evolve from belief in personas. Why? Because the Advaita teachings might guide you to become free of the influence of those personas and the suffering and misery that they generate. With the problems in your “relationship,” personas—and their accompanying egotism—are always at the core. Look at the continuum of personas and roles that were probably played in this “relationship” you speak of:
Likely, the first roles being played were “strangers.” Next came “acquaintances” followed by “friends” followed by “confidants and communicators” followed by “lovers” followed by “spouses” followed by “non-communicators” followed by “strangers again” (e.g., I don’t even know who you are) followed by “enemies” followed by “mortal enemies” who will try to destroy each other. (In place of all that, why not allow the illusory ego-states to be destroyed?) It is suspected if you look objectively at the sequence above, you’ll see where most of those roles were assumed. How could a “relationship” based in so many lies and some many false identities and so much game-playing possibly succeed? The majority do not.
Is there anything in the teachings that might “help”? Here are a few considerations:
1. To see that there is no "one" who needs help would be one suggestion, but as embroiled as you likely are in the misperception that you’re dying, that will be difficult. To see that what is actually happening—that a role which was being played is about to be played no more—might allow you to transition beyond some of the relative-existence turmoil. That would allow you to realize that nothing is happening to You and that something merely appears to be happening to certain roles that were not you. But to see anything clearly when in a state of emotional intoxication is usually impossible, whether that emotional intoxication is being generated by a pending divorce, by a “death,” by a rousing religious service, by spiritual giantism, or by any persona that mistakenly believes it must be supported, that it is under attack, and that it must strike out to survive the attack...none of which is true. Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued]
F.: There are certain “relative existence problems” that do not involve personas, but usually personas are—as you say—at the core of most. An example of problems that don’t deal have personas at the core might be the damage caused by tornadoes and hurricanes; yet even then personas are typically exposed when humans use their supernatural beliefs to try to explain totally natural events. Last week, a man living in the Midwest stood with a reporter before the remains of what had been his house but had been reduced to a slab littered with the remaining debris. The tornado that destroyed the home was a natural occurrence, but once this actor was placed on a national stage, the supernatural role that he had assumed said, “The good Lord wanted it so he took it…nothing I can do about it but rebuild.” The fact that he believes his “Lord” to be “good” after having destroyed his home exposes the dualistic thinking that accompanies personas (“good” vs. “bad”). He also exposed his religious programming—his learned ignorance—by expressing a belief...that a Lord is "good" even if he decides arbitrarily to destroy your home.
The invitation to you is to try a different tactic: try to separate the perceptions you have about what is happening in your relative existence from the reality and to allow the events to unfold without overlaying any unnatural or supernatural perspectives on these relative events you’re facing. Too, the pointer is offered that you can witness these proceedings as they happen without complicating the relative events, which is what will result if your personas drive you to take actions that would only exacerbate your problems. Next, search at the top of this page the phrase “as if” and see what it is like post-Realization to live "as if" any of this matters while knowing full well that it doesn’t. A different perspective might bring some relative relief.
That said, let the focus move from problems that evolve from natural influences to the “relative existence problems” that evolve from belief in personas. Why? Because the Advaita teachings might guide you to become free of the influence of those personas and the suffering and misery that they generate. With the problems in your “relationship,” personas—and their accompanying egotism—are always at the core. Look at the continuum of personas and roles that were probably played in this “relationship” you speak of:
Likely, the first roles being played were “strangers.” Next came “acquaintances” followed by “friends” followed by “confidants and communicators” followed by “lovers” followed by “spouses” followed by “non-communicators” followed by “strangers again” (e.g., I don’t even know who you are) followed by “enemies” followed by “mortal enemies” who will try to destroy each other. (In place of all that, why not allow the illusory ego-states to be destroyed?) It is suspected if you look objectively at the sequence above, you’ll see where most of those roles were assumed. How could a “relationship” based in so many lies and some many false identities and so much game-playing possibly succeed? The majority do not.
Is there anything in the teachings that might “help”? Here are a few considerations:
1. To see that there is no "one" who needs help would be one suggestion, but as embroiled as you likely are in the misperception that you’re dying, that will be difficult. To see that what is actually happening—that a role which was being played is about to be played no more—might allow you to transition beyond some of the relative-existence turmoil. That would allow you to realize that nothing is happening to You and that something merely appears to be happening to certain roles that were not you. But to see anything clearly when in a state of emotional intoxication is usually impossible, whether that emotional intoxication is being generated by a pending divorce, by a “death,” by a rousing religious service, by spiritual giantism, or by any persona that mistakenly believes it must be supported, that it is under attack, and that it must strike out to survive the attack...none of which is true. Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued]
[Tomorrow: Considerations #2-#6]
