From a site visitor: “You’ve mentioned personas as being at the core of all relative existence problems and you’ve mentioned the high divorce rate in the U.S. It appears my wife and I may be headed there. Is there anything in the teachings that can help?”
F.: Yesterday, consideration #1 was offered; today, considerations #2-#6:
2. Also, in regards to the Advaita teachings providing “help” with your marriage, note that (1) Realization ends all perceived needs and desires and illusions, (2) any “application” of the teachings can only happen in the relative existence, but (3) to address what you seem to be requesting at this point, there are a few professional counselors who use an Advaita-based approach in their couples counseling; unfortunately for those seeking such counsel, they are as rare as the re-purified consciousness.
3. Another consideration is this: peace can come to persons experiencing a sense of “loss” if they see that they have spent years looking at a mirage, desiring a mirage, thinking a mirage was real, but then seeing that it was, indeed, only a mirage. To see that what you thought was true about your "relationship" but was actually just a lie might shock the body-mind-personality at first, but ultimately the truth really will set you free. What relative existence “help” can come by realizing that what you thought was real in that “relationship” was not at all the way it appeared to be? A new perspective, which can reduce the relative impact after the initial shock. For example, if you have two wallets and think that the one you lost had in it the $2000 you recently withdrew from the bank, imagine your distress. But if you return home and find the wallet with the money and realize that the other wallet you lost was the one that was empty, imagine the relief that would come from realizing the truth. Relatively speaking, you may have lost something, but relief comes from seeing the truth…from realizing that the “loss” was not nearly as great as you had at first imagined it to be. Seeing the emptiness of what you lost reduces the impact, but that clarity can only come when you witness objectively without the influence of various personas that feel like they are dying or needing to justify something or needing to defend something. (Certain of your ego-states may, at this point, take those words about "emptiness" to be offensive, but an attack on a mirage is itself a mirage. Invitations to see the truth are not assaults on anything except personas.)
4. At the top of the page, search the keywords “lost” and “loss” and read the postings you find that discuss those illusions. What you (your persona) thinks is being lost was never real to begin with.
5. To that end, you are invited to read the earlier postings on the site about “What True Love Is Not.” Go to the archives at the right and read the Dec 7 summative posting. Then, if you want, read all of the postings on “what love is not,” starting with Oct 29, 2005 and continuing into December 2005. (Most of the November 2005 postings were skipped while confined in a hospital after an accident). After those readings, pointer #3 above may be even more meaningful.
6. Finally, the teachings can only affect the relative existence because (a) the Realized live in an AS-IF style and because (b) after the consciousness unmanifests, there is no “one” or self” or “Self” to experience anything. If there are upcoming events that “you” are dreading, the ideal “help” would be in the form of Full Realization that would allow You to be free of the influence of the “one” or “ones” or “self” or “selves” that imagine that what they are experiencing is real.
All of that having been said, please understand that the intention is not to minimize what you’re feeling or what you may be feeling over the next days and months. The considerations are offered to afford an opportunity for you to move beyond these happenings, to feel whatever is felt, but to avoid being embroiled in a state of emotional intoxication. Emotional intoxication, which results when a persona feels threatened, will only set off a chain of actions and reactions that could aggravate whatever relative existence problems you think you’re already facing. Best regards in your efforts to become an objective observer and to detach from the happenings that you cannot control anyway. Please enter the silence of contemplation.
F.: Yesterday, consideration #1 was offered; today, considerations #2-#6:
2. Also, in regards to the Advaita teachings providing “help” with your marriage, note that (1) Realization ends all perceived needs and desires and illusions, (2) any “application” of the teachings can only happen in the relative existence, but (3) to address what you seem to be requesting at this point, there are a few professional counselors who use an Advaita-based approach in their couples counseling; unfortunately for those seeking such counsel, they are as rare as the re-purified consciousness.
3. Another consideration is this: peace can come to persons experiencing a sense of “loss” if they see that they have spent years looking at a mirage, desiring a mirage, thinking a mirage was real, but then seeing that it was, indeed, only a mirage. To see that what you thought was true about your "relationship" but was actually just a lie might shock the body-mind-personality at first, but ultimately the truth really will set you free. What relative existence “help” can come by realizing that what you thought was real in that “relationship” was not at all the way it appeared to be? A new perspective, which can reduce the relative impact after the initial shock. For example, if you have two wallets and think that the one you lost had in it the $2000 you recently withdrew from the bank, imagine your distress. But if you return home and find the wallet with the money and realize that the other wallet you lost was the one that was empty, imagine the relief that would come from realizing the truth. Relatively speaking, you may have lost something, but relief comes from seeing the truth…from realizing that the “loss” was not nearly as great as you had at first imagined it to be. Seeing the emptiness of what you lost reduces the impact, but that clarity can only come when you witness objectively without the influence of various personas that feel like they are dying or needing to justify something or needing to defend something. (Certain of your ego-states may, at this point, take those words about "emptiness" to be offensive, but an attack on a mirage is itself a mirage. Invitations to see the truth are not assaults on anything except personas.)
4. At the top of the page, search the keywords “lost” and “loss” and read the postings you find that discuss those illusions. What you (your persona) thinks is being lost was never real to begin with.
5. To that end, you are invited to read the earlier postings on the site about “What True Love Is Not.” Go to the archives at the right and read the Dec 7 summative posting. Then, if you want, read all of the postings on “what love is not,” starting with Oct 29, 2005 and continuing into December 2005. (Most of the November 2005 postings were skipped while confined in a hospital after an accident). After those readings, pointer #3 above may be even more meaningful.
6. Finally, the teachings can only affect the relative existence because (a) the Realized live in an AS-IF style and because (b) after the consciousness unmanifests, there is no “one” or self” or “Self” to experience anything. If there are upcoming events that “you” are dreading, the ideal “help” would be in the form of Full Realization that would allow You to be free of the influence of the “one” or “ones” or “self” or “selves” that imagine that what they are experiencing is real.
All of that having been said, please understand that the intention is not to minimize what you’re feeling or what you may be feeling over the next days and months. The considerations are offered to afford an opportunity for you to move beyond these happenings, to feel whatever is felt, but to avoid being embroiled in a state of emotional intoxication. Emotional intoxication, which results when a persona feels threatened, will only set off a chain of actions and reactions that could aggravate whatever relative existence problems you think you’re already facing. Best regards in your efforts to become an objective observer and to detach from the happenings that you cannot control anyway. Please enter the silence of contemplation.
