FROM A SITE VISITOR IN CAPE TOWN, AFRICA:
Hi Floyd,
Here is an email to say hello.
I found your series of shifting between states of happiness and unhappiness very helpful - and humbling. As much as I liked to believe that this "as if" state was authentic, this series helped me to see the illusion of this concept - how the true identity is the background or awareness in which both of these states (happiness and unhappiness) happen.
There is a growing familiarity with the vast spaciousness in which all arises - the awareness that watches the apparent Louise write this email. Before, I did not really "get" that I am not the body or the mind - although I thought I did. Now, when "I" look at the world, there is closer identification with the awareness that is seeing rather than a Louise that is seeing.
... and then the kid is rude and a mom persona pops up out of nowhere full of outrage ...
- as the ego personas appear I recognise them - can see the agendas - no judgement - just noticing - seeing Louise's various dances with more clarity.
The mind feels very unstable at times ... like I am going mad ... although I also have never felt more sane.
much love
Louise
F.: And hello to you as well, Louise, along with Peace and Love and Light. As in Your case, that series is still generating a volume of letters to the site. Many are reporting that identification with the background has begun to happen with more frequency. [The book CONSCIOUSNESS / AWARENESS: The Nature of Reality Beyond SELF-Realization covers that "background" topic in detail.]
Identification with THAT is now happening with many site visitors even as all this "stuff" is passing by in the foreground and is merely being witnessed, including, "the kid" or the "ex" or "the boss from hell."
[As an exception, one person/persona who continues to hate vehemently his "ex-wife" did write an attack letter after the post which reported that I, the consciousness, see an "ex" and "her relatives" as nothing more than highly corrupted specks of consciousness. He is sure that there is a "lying floyd" who "still hates them all and needs to admit it." When the happenings with those persons occurred, prior to "floyd's" Realization, emotional intoxication did most certainly happen as well. Post-Realization, "they" faded away. That is the guaranteed fate of all of the foreground "stuff." Peace comes if "they" fade away now, but all will fade away as the consciousness fades away and unmanifests. Why not let the fading happen now and enjoy the results? For another example, consider the pointer from the Advaitin Jesus who purportedly said, "Heaven and earth shall fade away."]
While the fluctuations between feeling sane or not, between feeling happy or not, and between identifying with THAT or not can all happen along the "journey," an "Aha" moment can come when all is seen to have been a figment of the imagination...all a series of illusions that have never been what they appeared to be.
Meanwhile, what you describe is an indicator of movement along the "path." A shift is obvious from what was revealed in your first e-mails and what is revealed now. You are moving beyond programming and denial and those other relative variables that block clear seeing.
(Programming inspires persons to "settle"...to rationalize. They will claim that moments of extreme joy, interspersed throughout a relative existence that is primarily boring or empty or even miserable, "make it all worthwhile." Denial inspires persons to ignore unhappiness or repressed anger or even deep-seated depression.)
The content of Your e-mail suggests that, though You might not have fixated unwaveringly in abidance as the Absolute, you are tasting that sweetness more and more frequently. In the meantime, continue to enjoy both the subject-object witnessing that is going on as well as the peace and lightness that manifest when the Pure Witnessing happens. f.
