Today's Considerations
Certain excerpts from the book “There’s No Such Thing As Peace of Mind” (There Is Only Peace If You Are Out Of Your Mind) are being
shared as this series focuses on the mind and why the information stored
therein – including false personality identifications – is the root cause and perpetrator
of the Ultimate Sickness.
Today, some excerpts from Chapter’s 12 and 13 (entitled "MIND and PERSONALITY: What Cultures Consider Assets Are Actually Liabilities") shall be shared:
See that almost all persons are totally out of touch with
reality, are living as if actors on a stage, and are playing their fake roles without
any clue that they are fakes. They truly believe that their roles define who
they are, and that’s why those trapped in personality identification will be seen by
any objective witness to be insane and totally out of touch with reality.
The mind is formed first during the process of programming, conditioning,
etc. and then it is soon pumped full of false identifications (the hidden
agendas of which will unconsciously determine every thought that is thought,
every word that is spoken, and every action that is taken).
Children developed a set of tools during their early years
to use to address one specific set of circumstances. The folly is that they
continue to use that same set of tools (their personality and the behaviors
that are driven by their personality) in every situation that arises throughout
adulthood.
Therefore, the earlier points that “persona-playing will
lead persons to personality disorders” and that "adults behave in childish
ways" should now be understood. What remains to be understood is what
those “bizarre circumstances” are that drive children to develop a specific
personality and to behave in the ways that are unique to that personality type.
(Note: the egotism of most parents will inspire them to
reject any consideration that they created a bizarre environment for their
children to be raised in, and the egotism of most children will reject the same
consideration. The tendency among persons is to “upgrade” their childhood circumstances
(as is the case with the ego-driven comment that “My parents were great!”); or
to “normalize” their circumstances, no matter how many elephants in the kitchen
are being ignored; or to "minimize" the impact of their not-so-great-after-all
childhood circumstances ("Well, they did the best they could.")
So does the term "bizarre circumstances" include
sexual abuse and therefore not apply to the majority who believe they were
"pretty darn good parents" or that they had "pretty darn good
parents"? No, as bizarre as sexual abuse is, that is not the bizarre
environment that the majority of persons grew up in; however, most children do
suffer from physical, mental and emotional abuse as well as abnormal
parent-child relations.
The most common “bizarre circumstances” that force children
to develop personalities for coping with an abnormal environment include
families that are overly-restrictive and that impose rigid, puritanical
demands; families that offer only conditional love or none at all; families
that are overly-indulgent in child-rearing or who create dual imaging (public
vs. private) so that family secrets are kept behind closed doors; and families
in which neither parent understands their children or in which abandonment
issues are fostered.
Also included are families which generate in children a
sense of threat or fear more often than they provide a sense of security and
well-being; families in which a parent is anal-retentive and overly-critical;
families in which one or both parents engage in contests for control with the
children, contests which the children often win; and families that spoil the
children so badly that as adults those children have no drive or motivation,
develop a sense of entitlement, and thus expect to be taken care of by others.
These are the most prevalent types of environments that are not healthy and
that are bizarre in terms of parent-child relations. Those are the environments
that inspire children to develop coping skills / personality in order to deal
with abnormal circumstances.
Therefore, each of the nine basic Personality Types
One through Nine - identified by the enneagram personality testing and analysis which are offered -
developed certain traits and behaviors in childhood that “worked” to some
degree in those early, unhealthy parent-child relations but that become major
obstacles when applied to adult-aged relations (which are most typically marred
with the playing of “The Child role” or “The Parent role” in the absence of
“Adult”-appropriate conduct).
Here are the abnormal home conditions that inspire the formation of the various personality types and that set children on a destructive course, relatively-speaking, as they apply
their childhood strategies to adult-age circumstances (meaning, as they
unconsciously allow personality to dictate the ways that they think, talk, emote, and
behave):
Often, Type Ones as children were trying to cope with a
rigid, judgmental environment in which parents set forth unreasonably excessive
moral and ethical demands and expectations, especially involving religious
restrictions. Ones become reformers or perfectionists, can become highly
self-critical if they don’t adhere as adults to the parental expectations that
were set forth during childhood, can become judgmental, and will often label
others as being “bad” or “evil.”
Often, Type Twos as children were trying to cope with an
environment in which parents were emotionally unavailable, were offering only a
conditional version of love, or wherein a parent (often the father) was in
absentia, physically or otherwise. They can spend their entire adulthood is a
search for love and will give away far too much in the quest.
Often, Type Threes as children were reacting to an
especially indulgent parent (often to the mother). Sometimes, an abusive male
parent was present, and the hiding of family secrets set the stage for
manufacturing the images that were shown outside the home (which were quite
different from the abusive reality that existed inside the home). The stage was
set for creating and maintaining positive images while living darker lives
behind closed doors. Threes, therefore, can experience a sense of incongruity
since their "positive" outside image never matches their
"negative" inside reality. Adult Threes can be charming in public
venues but can be sadistic behind the closed doors of an office, a home, etc.
They become charismatic performers and achievers in public but that is fakery.
They usually become vicious as they competitively strive to outdo or even crush
all others who do not please them, and they will use a vile tongue to try to
diminish the objects of their anger.
Often Type Fours as children were trying to cope with a fear
of abandonment and being misunderstood by parents and being raised in an environment which inspired rebellious (their rebellion often passive or hidden at first). An internal, fantasy-driven
inner life often developed. They become the romantics who are the most likely
to engage in the “search for Self,” but that often leaves them remote and
distant. Fours who do not find Self can eventually isolate; Fours that do find
Self can enjoy the solitude without becoming isolationists. They make up only about 1/2 of 1% of the planet's population.
Often, Type Fives as children were trying to cope with a
hostile environment wherein their parents generated a sense of threat more
often than a sense of security. Some Fives also had an early experience with
death. Obsessing over what many take to be “the morbid” can dominate their
thoughts and conduct.
Often, Type Sixes as children were trying to cope with a
perceived need to develop a relationship with an authority figure (often a
male) in order to feel secure. They will spend a lifetime seeking security and
following the orders of their political or religious or spiritual leaders
(usually males) no matter the degree of nonsense or self-contradiction
expounded by those leaders. Fifty percent of all people are Sixes (who often
show the personality traits of Type Threes. The planet, therefore, is dominated
by those showing Type Three-Six traits.) Sixes, during adulthood, can be
dominated by fear and a search for security, which explains their blind loyalty
to political and religious leaders whom they think can protect them, both now
and “forevermore.”
Often, Type Sevens as children were trying to cope with a
rigid or emotionally-unavailable or demanding parent (more often the mother).
Sevens sense, rightly or wrongly, that the inflexible parent is never totally
pleased with them or that the parent is never willing to fully accept their
uniqueness. (That is generally a result of the fact that the mothers of many
Sevens were either facing their own challenges at the time the Seven was a
child; or had an attachment disorder; or were over-stressed because of
circumstances but lacked the coping skills to deal effectively with those
circumstances; or were preoccupied with their own agenda and interests.) Sevens
as children become dedicated to trying to lighten the mood of the
overly-serious parent. As a result, Seven’s end up on a life-long quest to have
fun and escape restrictions (such as those imposed by a rule-loving parent).
Later, however, they also become hesitant to make commitments in their own
adult relations, preferring to keep many options open instead.
Often, Type Eights as children were trying to cope with a
mother in a battle for control. Typically, the Eights succeeded in getting
their way as a child and they expect to always get their way throughout their
adult years as well. They usually become domineering and controlling and often
want both earthly and “heavenly” power in order to have all of the power
necessary in order to try to control everything and everyone.
Often, Type Nines as children were dealing with excessively
supportive or indulgent parents, so as adults they have a sense of entitlement
that makes work unattractive and creates an expectation that others should take
care of them. Nines can become quite lazy and can use passive-aggressive
methods to manipulate others to care for them.
(NOTE: It has been asked in the past, “If childhood and
family conditions have such an influence on determining personality type, why
do siblings so often have different personality types?” The answer is, “Because
no two brothers or sisters are raised by the ‘same’ parents or in the ‘same’
family.” Meaning? Meaning that parents are in a state of flux and families are
in a state of flux. The dynamics are never the same for any two children,
though they might be members of the 'same' family, since economic cycles rise
and fall, since the parents’ relationship ebbs and wanes, and since the
addition of each child affects the character of the family unit.)
Thus, the most common personality defects (as revealed
above) which mar the relative existence include the following: self-absorption;
judgmentalism; giving, but only in order to receive even more in return;
viciousness; being overly-competitive; being phony; being aloof; being
unavailable; being morbid; being fear-based and insecure; being blindly loyal;
being an escapist; being a control freak; being demanding; and being lazy.
Those are the typical products of the basic personality types.
Add the defects that appear when persons adopt another
twenty or thirty ego-states ("spouse," "employee,"
"lover," "homeowner," etc.) and the fallout from
personality becomes overwhelming, throwing the entire planet into chaos. Some
have asked: “What about those who are ‘healthy’ and behave ‘well’”? The answer
is simple:
The very worst of each personality type in evidenced when persons are stressed, overly-pious, or making money off their phony role-playing. How many on the planet are not either stressed, overly-pious, or receiving income for playing their roles? Thus the relative negatives are prevalent—relatively speaking—and dominate the “human (persona) experience.”
Do you understand the role that the warped mind plays as it
generates warped personalities as a result of growing up in warped
environments? Are you seeing why adults perform so poorly in trying to create
healthy relations during their relative existence? Are you seeing why most
adults behave childishly and why, short of Full Realization, they will never be
able to choose to behave differently . . . driven as they are by their
childhood tool set? Are you seeing how childhood programming and conditioning
etc. prevent adults from making sound, sane, and independent choices?
The more significant Advaita pointer is this: when
strategies (a) originated in the mind of a child who was trying to cope with
abnormal circumstances and when those strategies (b) produced a specific
personality and when (c) those childhood strategies are still driving abnormal
and subconscious behavior years later, then those are strategies which actually
should play no part at all in the relative-existence lives of adults. For
freedom to happen, the warped “mind” that generated personality during
childhood must be dissolved and the personality (and its persona-driven
behaviors) must be discarded.
To be continued.
Please enter the silence of contemplation.
[NOTE:
The four most recent posts follow. You may access all of the posts in
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