TODAY'S CONSIDERATIONS
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The additional, very different perspectives which came via the vision regarding
The Love vs. "love" Conundrum
(Part Three)
[Continued from yesterday:]
As for trying to "love everyone and everything," the one with an understanding of the Nisarga yoga looks to nature for an example of what natural abidance looks like:
Here in this neighborhood where many deer roam about, there are certain adolescents who harass them. They chase them; they yell at them; they throw rocks and sticks at them. Most of the year, the deer merely amble off into the woods to be free of the nuisance.
If it's that time of year when a buck is courting a doe for the sake of breeding, then those adolescents who try to mess with him when he's trying to attract a doe in heat may well find themselves racing for the shelter of their homes as the buck tries to impale them on the horns of its rack.
With that particular exception, however, the deer being harassed by the adolescents will typically just move away from them. The deer retreat to one of the many copses of trees where they can rest in the quiet and take it easy.
So what do the deer usually model? This:
They move away from noisy or harmful humans who disturb the peace so that they can, as Maharaj said, "Relax in the cool blue shade."
Do the deer feel a need to love the delinquents? No.
Do they hate the delinquents? No.
The deer know neither of those concepts.
But do they get the heck away from those types? Yes.
Do the realized do the same when around those types? Often, yes.
Do I feel a need to love those delinquents? No.
Do I feel a need to hate those delinquents? No.
Do I prefer to stay the heck away from those delinquents. Yes.
Do I understand that "that which they really are is what I really am, too"? Yes.
Does that make me love to be around people like that? No.
Did the realization process make clear that I, too, had been suffering from a major case of assholism for years? Yes.
Does that allow me to spot cases of full-blown assholism now when they are at play? Yes?
Do I now understand how assholism is passed down from one generation to the next? Yes.
Do I now want to hang out with those who are presently suffering from a severe case of assholism? No.
Do I love them? No.
Do I hate them? No.
Does realization mean that, had I lived in Nazi Germany, the understanding would have led me to love Hitler and his fellow Catholic and Lutheran white supremacists? Hell no.
Abiding as I do in the U.S., I witness on a daily basis the results of the fact that fanatical Christians and white supremacists and non-Nazis and Alt-Righters and believers in eugenics joined forces to turn control of the country over to a bunch of other white supremacists who are now demonstrating on a daily basis what it is like to be trapped in the depths of the Ultimate Sickness.
Does being realized ("freed of ignorance") mean that I must love those white supremacists and eugenicists? Hell no. Do I want to hang out with them? Hell no. Why? Well, let's see if by simply looking at one of them if we might be able to assess how they're doing on the happy and joyous and free scale:
(1) To realize,
and
(2) to understand the Oneness,
and
(3) to know that "Love" involves knowing that I am everything and that I share a common denominator with all
does prevent my being driven by a different-from and better-than ego-and-egotism-and-BS-and-duality-based set of beliefs;
yet
(4) the realization and the understanding do not mean that I must practice a duality-based Subject-Object perspective which demands that I say, "I (subject) love those white supremacists (object)."
All of the above clarifications came via the different perspective which came while considering the implications of the content of the vision and finally putting to an end once and for all the confusion surrounding the "love" vs. "LOVE" conundrum.
As for the perspectives and ideas and concepts and notions (a.k.a. "beliefs") which persons have about "love" and "relationships," there may be hundreds of thousands of comments made by parents and siblings and other relatives and teachers and politicians and celebrities, etc. all of which contributed the body of programming, conditioning etc.
However, there are often just one or two statements which will consciously or subconsciously drive a person's thoughts and words and actions for an entire lifetime.
Just one or two statements . . .
about one's "worth or lack thereof" or about one's "intelligence or lack thereof" or about one's "good looks or lack thereof" or about "the shape of one's nose" or about "relationships" and "love" (messages delivered verbally or by example) . . .
can have a life-long effect.
A few seekers found their way to India and climbed the stairs to a loft above a flat after having built a multi-year history of destructive or self-defeating acts (relatively speaking). The record of their lives reveals amazingly bizarre actions which had been driven by the most bizarre beliefs, all of which seemed quite "normal" to them but which were, in fact, actually quite abnormal and unnatural. And some of the most abnormal and unnatural were rooted in their beliefs about "relationships" and "love."
In terms of their relative existence, they were in dire need not of being re-programmed but of being de-programmed; in dire need not of being taught more but of being un-taught all; and not in dire need of learning more but of un-learning all.
A few other seekers have found their way to South Texas and entered the house here, and their circumstances were the same: in terms of their relative existence, they were in dire need not of being re-programmed but of being de-programmed; in dire need not of being taught more but of being un-taught all; and not in dire need of learning more but of un-learning all.
And in many cases, the decisive and fundamental contributor to their history of problems often rested in one or two statements which they were given during the early phases of their programming, conditioning, etc., which they accepted without question, and which they subsequently allowed to drive the most influential and destructive thoughts and words and actions for decades.
And they usually enter without a clue about what has been driving them and without having a clue that they need to be totally de-programmed. But even when some come to see that is the case, undoing the lifetime effects of even one or two statements which were a part of a massive body of statements used during the process of programming, conditioning, etc. can prove to be an insurmountable obstacle.
AN EXAMPLE OF A MALE WHOSE PROGRAMMING AND ACCULTURATION LED TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF A MONOMANIA AROUND RACE-BASED "love" and "hate"
Regular visitors to the site are familiar with Dylann Roof, a white supremacist and neo-Nazi and supporter of the KKK ideology who - in June of 2015 - entered a church with mostly black members and killed nine people.
He had grown up in Columbia, South Carolina. South Carolina is high on the list of "The Most Racist States in the U.S.," assuring that Roof would end up adopting the duality-based belief system which is popular among so many whites in that state who believe and teach that they are different from and better than blacks and that they must love their race and hate those who are members of any different race.
AN EXAMPLE OF A FEMALE WHOSE PROGRAMMING AND CONDITIONING GAVE HER A BELIEF THAT RELATIONSHIPS AND "love" ARE MERELY TOOLS TO BE USED TO MANIPULATE OTHERS TO MEET HER NEEDS AND PROVIDE AN ABOVE-AVERAGE LIFESTYLE
A woman raised in Texas in a town near the Mexico border is now in her late 60's. When she was seventeen and approached her father and asked about going to college, his reply was: "That would be a total waste of my money. You and your sister are both good looking and have great figures and can use those to find a man to take care of you."
Now I met another adult woman who was raised in rural Kentucky and who developed an addiction to needle-injected drugs when she was thirteen years old when her mother began shopping her around among the males in their community and prostituting her daughter to boys and men in their area.
As for the Texas women whose father refused to send her and her sister to college, he did not advise her in the same way as the mother in Kentucky who had her daughter bring home money by having sex with dozens of men per month.
His plan for his daughters was a slightly-modified version of that used by the mother in Kentucky: He said, "Use your wiles" (defined as "devious or cunning stratagems employed in manipulating or persuading someone to do what one wants") "to get a man to pay your bills and take care of you."
In other words, "You don't have to be a prostitute and have sex with multiple men every month. Just give sex to one man in order to get him to take care of you." Or, again, in other words, "Don't play the role of 'A Whore.' That's unacceptable. Just play the role of 'A Lifestyle Whore.' That is fine."
Her mother's "love" and relationship advice: "Once you have a man, manipulate him with love. Use love wisely and your needs will always be met." (The irony around that? The father had a multi-year affair with another woman and eventually left that mother for the other woman. Did the mother not "use love as wisely as she should have"? Should she have used a better version of "love" or manipulation which would have been more effective at controlling her husband? Very mysterious, but in spite of the fact that her mother's advice proved not to work for her, the daughter nevertheless followed that advice anyway.)
The result: The Texas father and the Kentucky mother both gave their daughters the same advice with one exception:
The Texas father: "A man is a plan."
The Kentucky mother: "Many men are the plan."
Both set their daughter off on the same path, yet one path in this culture is "more-than-acceptable" while the other is "totally-unacceptable."
The Texas daughter now in her mid-60's has followed the advice of her father and mother "to a 'T'" throughout her entire life. When I met her, she was still quoting her father's and mother's advice as if the beliefs they passed down were Solomonesque . . . certainly part and parcel of the highest level of wisdom ever. In her dual-minded state, the belief is "It's worked great for me."
Each man she has married was making millions, and each subsequent husband was richer than the last. All of the men involved with her have been pulled in by her looks which have lasted longer than many might expect. And each of the men accepted years of being manipulated, a fact seen by everyone around them except for the men involved.
(The current Husband / Provide / Caretaker / Manipulatee seems to see a little more clearly than some others who had been in his position, though his seeing is not leading him to freedom, either. Our paths once crossed and, unsolicited, he told me that "things are going great - I just follow The Commander's commands." Cute, huh?)
As for men who go along with such acts, they have their own set of programming-and-acculturation-induced issues, functioning as they do with their caveman mentally and Neanderthal value system:
"Ugh. Eye candy look good. Me buy that eye candy."
"Ugh, Me status is improved if have woman on my arm that all the men in our tribe think is the most beautiful."
"Ugh, me feel better when woman assure me that I smartest man on planet, greatest in all ways."
"Ugh, woman build me up when I bring home more mammoth meat than any of the other males. I top alpha male in our clan. Ugh. Ugh. Double ugh." đŸ˜€
[George Carlin: "The root cause of the excess of problems in male / female relationships is that women are crazy and men are stupid, and the reason that woman are crazy is because they deal with stupid men." Such as the stupid man who told his daughters that they did not need an education and did not need to work in order to be independent rather than totally dependent on a man.]
So note that while programming, conditioning, etc. can last throughout an entire relative existence and might well expose persons to thousands upon thousands of concepts and ideas and beliefs, the fact is that just one or two statements can lead to one or two beliefs which end up controlling and determining one's thoughts and words and actions throughout an entire lifetime.
The role of the non-dual teacher is to lead persons to freedom, specifically to freedom from the ignorance and insanity of the Ultimate Sickness. When just one belief accepted early on can subconsciously determine and control what a person does throughout a lifetime, the task of de-programming is ultimately challenging.
Few, in fact, will ever be free of their dominate and domineering beliefs, and few will ever understand that their most dominate and domineering beliefs are rooted in (1) religion and / or spirituality and in (2) their misguided notions about "relationships" and "love."
So it is, but so it need not be.
To be continued.
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