Showing posts with label Co-Dependency. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Co-Dependency. Show all posts

Saturday, October 27, 2007

SHIFTS IN CONSCIOUSNESS, SHIFTS IN DEEDS, Part Eight

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FROM A SITE VISITOR: Do you think that the realized should be able to tolerate any kind of environment or any kind of people? It sounds like you are saying that. I’ve been reading your writings for several months and lately, there are people I spent a lot of time with before but now I’m not spending time with them at all. I’m not realized, but even if I were, I feel certain that there are some people I just wouldn’t want to be around. Art

F.: The non-Realized are living a nightmare but dreaming that their dreams are “sweet dreams.” They are in prison but are dreaming that they are free. That is evidenced in the three case studies in this series.

All three want to accumulate. All could provide for themselves, but (a) wanting more than they could earn and (b) desiring a richer lifestyle than their talents could provide and (c) believing that they are “different from others” and therefore (d) deserving to have someone else pay all of their bills, they have accepted the imprisonment that comes along with the supposed “perks.”

These cases are not rare but are, as the psychotherapist from yesterday’s post pointed out, becoming very common. (They are actually as old as the oldest “human relationships.”) Another case in point:

A woman following this series wrote yesterday to ask what she can do to escape from a situation that is another example related to the content of these current postings. Both she and her son have sought peace for years, have sought relief from the Addictive Personality Disorder, and have tried the Advaita approach as well. Neither has moved far along the “path.”

Her unemployed son, who will be thirty in a few years, comes home drunk at night and rages against her. Other details provided allowed the following response:

“There is no need for any talk about Realization at this point. Deal with the relative aspects since the Absolute is not understood by either of you. Nobody can refuse to get a job, get drunk, have a house to come home to, and be allowed to rage without an enabler who makes it possible to avoid employment, to still get drunk, to still have a place to come home to, and to still have someone to rage against.

”Details that have been provided show that your mom enabled you and now you are passing it on to your son. You’ve mentioned your therapist. Discuss a plan to stop your enabling. You might be able to break the chain. No one quits abusing whatever they are abusing unless they hit a bottom and suffer the consequences, but an enabler always prevents the addict from finding the bottom or experiencing consequences.”

In this case, a deadline for moving out must be established. Art said, I feel certain that there are some people I just wouldn’t want to be around. In this case, it could be said by the mother, “There is a person I don’t want to be around while he is this sick and spreading his contagion. If he seeks treatment and wellness results, then I will reconsider.”

To give up the assumed ego-state of “The Enabler” and “The Rescuer” always seems painful to the non-Realized, but as with all ego-states and false identities, discarding them involves far less misery and suffering than maintaining them. Sometimes, at least a temporary movement away from certain people is indicated. It might eventually prove to be a step toward peace and sanity.

The woman playing the role of “The Enabler” is seeking relief via the Realization process, but here are a few facts about the process: (1) The readiness is all. If the readiness is not there, no chance of being in touch with reality will happen. (2) The ignorant can never Realize, and the intoxicated are ignorant. (3) A clouded “mind” cannot possibly understand any pointers that are aimed toward elimination of the “mind.” (4) Many other steps must be completed before the “Seven Steps to Realization” can be taken.

This case, along with the three already discussed, reinforces a pointer often offered here: the non-Realized walk about as if they are free, but they are not. They are imprisoned. For example, consider the parallels with Case “C” [25 October 2007]. Look at the parallels between his current imprisonment and his former imprisonment and see that he is no freer now than when he was incarcerated by the state:

In prison, he lived in a place without ownership, staying or going at the whims of whoever was in charge of him at the time. Same now. He could only have a minimal amount of money in his account. Same now. He was treated like a child by persons playing “The Parent” role in his life who told him when to go and where to go and how to go. Same now. He had to adopt many personas and walk about as if he were something that he was not in order to protect “self.” Same now.

As with all non-Realized persons, he remains incarcerated but believes he is free. He believes that this time he is “in love with” the one assuming the role of his guard and warden and mother. He thinks he is living the life of an adult, in grand style in her mansion, but he is actually still living as a child.

In fact, none of these persons are what they seem or what they take themselves to be. Furthermore, in spite of whatever their mates or partners or relatives think that they know about them…in no way are they the way they seem. And whatever they think their circumstances are, in no way are things the way they perceive them.

And for those embroiled in the relative existence, the same applies. If you have a spouse, you think you know your spouse and what that mate feels and thinks and believes. You do not. And there are thoughts and feelings and beliefs and desires and fears that you have that your spouse hasn’t a clue about. Only if You know That Which You Are can any truth about a spouse, or anyone else, be known.

Witness that type of delusion as it plays out among the case studies in this series. With Case “A,” she thinks that her occasional professions of love to her husband are real though she admits privately that she wants him to die. While she is wishing he would die, he is believing that she loves him.
This is the third husband who has paid all her bills and the third husband that she has wished dead. She is incarcerated but claims that she is “comfortable” in her prison. In the past, she had twice claimed that she was also comfortable in the other two prisons that she had moved into in order to avoid employment and to have others pay for her housing and clothing and all necessities. Rather than seeing that she is the common element in all three of those disasterous marriages, she concludes that all men are abusers and that all men are worthless except for paying bills.

Another, Case “B,” has thought that each man she dated was going to be the one to “take care of her,” but none of them proved in the end to be what they seemed during the dating process. They came; they saw; they conquered; they left. Yet she is still “in the hunt,” still seeking the “right man”…still seeking the one who will be willing to take care of her.

She is unknowingly begging to be locked away in the same kind of existence as “A,” as “C,” and as the enabling mother. All are willing to be prisoners of their dreams in order to sustain their bogus images and their false identities. All are prisoners of the desires and fears that are driving them throughout their relative circumstances.

When Advaitins speak of the imprisonment and misery and suffering that accompany the assumption and maintenance of ego-states, the talk is not metaphorical for those embroiled in their relative, phenomenal misery. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
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    Friday, October 26, 2007

    SHIFTS IN CONSCIOUSNESS, SHIFTS IN DEEDS, Part Seven

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    FROM A SITE VISITOR: Do you think that the realized should be able to tolerate any kind of environment or any kind of people? It sounds like you are saying that. I’ve been reading your writings for several months and lately, there are people I spent a lot of time with before but now I’m not spending time with them at all. I’m not realized, but even if I were, I feel certain that there are some people I just wouldn’t want to be around. Art

    F.: The Realized are not trapped, as are the non-Realized, in thoughts and words and deeds that are driven by the warped consciousness. Nor are they trying to escape from anything. One researcher reported that 99% of the people on the planet are addicted to something. Addiction is driven by the desire to escape from. The Realized have nothing to escape from and have nothing to seek for.

    In that regard, Art, are you seeing that moving away from some people might be based in egotism and agendas? Are the case studies showing you that staying with certain people can be based in desires and fears and egotism and agendas? Are you also seeing that a shift toward peace and quiet and attachment-free living is unique to the ego-less and the agenda-less that abide as the Absolute?

    When a marriage counselor asked two weeks ago about upcoming blog topics, these three cases were summarized. She suggested that all three are really playing one basic role that she sees frequently in her practice, namely, that of “The Lifestyle Prostitute.” (Okay, she used a more graphic term than “prostitute” to identify the role being played, but that word was substituted for hers in deference to those site visitors with delicate sensibilities.)

    She describes the traits of the syndrome that accompanies that assumed identity:

    “These are the people who are not prostitutes per se but who prostitute themselves out (to one person at a time) in order to have a 'better lifestyle'; the role is now being played by both males and females; they not only accept but also expect the monetary benefits of others’ labors or charities, including money from mates, spouses, parents, or society at large; they claim that they have genuine feelings for their ‘provider’ in order to disguise their real motives and in order to continue their manipulation; they live a miserable but often high-end lifestyle (relatively speaking);

    “while being master manipulators, they are nevertheless abused at times, either mentally, emotionally, and/or physically; that does not happen in all cases since they are capable of fooling people so well that mates really think they are being loved by these manipulators; thus, if their financial support is coming from a ‘personal’ relationship source, they claim that they are ‘in love’ in order to minimize the fact that they are prostituting themselves (as well as to justify or rationalize the abuse or misery that they are tolerating). Sometimes they even seem to believe their own lies about 'love.'

    “The particular ego-state involved in this syndrome is distinguished by motive, agenda, and entitlement, so it is intention that clearly separates these persons from, say, ‘stay-at-home moms or dads’ who are not necessarily driven by egotism, entitlement, or the motives of this ego-state. Yet when I mention that possibility, all of the people playing this role claim that is their circumstance. They never see their hidden agendas and true motives.”

    The counselor’s term for that ego-state does accurately point toward the commonality of the basic belief systems of all three persons in these case studies:

    All believe in their co-dependent fashion that other people should “take care of them”; all believe that others should “meet their economic and housing needs as well as any other desires”; all speak of “love” in order to hide their real agenda; all are manipulative; all really use “love” as nothing more than a tool for gain; and all are allowing their laziness or entitlement to trap them in dependency as a result of their desire for “more” and for an “elevated lifestyle.”

    The therapist also reported that a large number of her clients embroiled in this ego-state are quite open about admitting, as Case “A” did, that there are times when they really want their mates to die. “So much for true, unconditional, unselfish love,she said. “That inability to love unconditionally,” she continued, “also distinguishes those playing this role from people who have some understanding of what the word ‘love’ really involves.”

    She also pointed out that all who come to her office seeking happiness or freedom are trapped in ego-states but that recently a disproportionately large number (both male and female) have assumed this role and are dodging work while seeking money from others.

    What is revealed via these three case studies, as well as what the psychotherapist shared, is that false identities and their always-accompanying co-dependency are a continuing source of misery and suffering in the relative existence. What is also revealed is that persons are driven blindly by thoughts and words and deeds that evolve from the warped consciousness. The Realization process is one effective “treatment” for that condition of the consciousness.

    It can also be seen that dependent, non-Realized persons run to assumed roles and attachments and co-dependencies in order to sustain their ego-states, their self-interests, and their sense of entitlement. They seek out others to meet their relative desires and to fulfill their personal agendas.

    Elimination of self, of desires, of fears, of entitlement, of co-dependencies, of self-interests, and of ego-states will facilitate the shift to independence and then freedom and then happiness.

    Two of the three people described in these case studies claim that they are “comfortable” in their current relationships while the third thinks that she wants what they have, namely, “someone taking care of her.”

    Yet all three admitted that they have recently contemplated suicide. For some, the Realization process can eliminate that kind of denial and distortion. For some, the Realization process can remove the playing of ego-states, a practice that just happens to be at the root of all relative misery and suffering.

    No one who is running away from people, or merely tolerating people, or constantly seeking out people as caretakers is “comfortable.” “Comfortable” only happens from a spontaneous mode of nisarga (natural) AS IF living, from a platform of witnessing feelings as they rise and fall, from being free of the emotional intoxication that is generated by ego-states and their desires and fears, and from being independent. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
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    Tuesday, October 23, 2007

    SHIFTS IN CONSCIOUSNESS, SHIFTS IN DEEDS, Part Four

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    FROM A SITE VISITOR: Do you think that the realized should be able to tolerate any kind of environment or any kind of people? It sounds like you are saying that. I’ve been reading your writings for several months and lately, there are people I spent a lot of time with before but now I’m not spending time with them at all. I’m not realized, but even if I were, I feel certain that there are some people I just wouldn’t want to be around. Art

    F.: Some like Art talk of moving away from some people he “wouldn’t want to be around.” Others stay with people they don’t really want to be around because they are trapped in roles which they have assumed and which they want to continue playing. All roles require a co-dependent counterpart. That dependency displaces freedom, and a lack of freedom displaces happiness. The Advaita Teachings have made clear for centuries that peace and happiness cannot co-exist with false identities and role-playing.

    The pointer has been offered that many persons stay around those they don’t really want to be around because of hidden agendas, attachments, laziness, fears, desires, or a sense of entitlement. Case in point was “A,” discussed yesterday, who occasionally wants her husband to die but stays with him for the money and the lifestyle. She even mentions occasionally that she “does loves him…on some level” to minimize the sense that she is really just selling herself.

    Are you seeing, Art, that the solution to all these relative existence “relationship problems” lies neither in (a) trying to run away from or in (b) trying to seek out and use? [Solutions are discussed in detail in CASTING LIGHT ON THE DARK SIDE OF RELATIONSHIPS.]

    Today’s post will cover the pointer that [attachments and agendas] can generate acceptance of misery if in denial:

    Case “B”:
    Regarding,
    acceptance of misery if in denial
    A woman recently complained about “being powerless” to a counselor who shares Advaita pointers during some of her psychotherapy sessions. The woman is frustrated that she "feels powerless" because she doesn’t have the money to provide “the lifestyle that she has always dreamed of.”

    The counselor suggested, “You are using the word ‘powerless’ with a negative connotation and the self-fulfilling prophesy is preventing you from moving forth and caring for yourself. To move away from that belief, give me a statement that has a positive connotation and that would be the exact opposite of ‘I am powerless’.”

    After extended thinking, the woman answered: “I am being taken care of.” The counselor, stunned for a moment, finally asked, “Did it not occur to you to see that you can ‘empower’ yourself, relatively speaking, if you acquire some salable skill and find employment, meet your own needs, pay your own bills, and become independent?

    “I mean, didn’t at least some notion such as, ‘I can become empowered and take care of myself’ not come into consciousness?” The women did not speak, but the look she gave to the counselor spoke volumes, namely, “How are you supposed to help me if you’re going to come up with things that crazy?”

    Again, here is a case in which a person is not realizing that a hidden agenda (“to be taken care of”) is leaving her trapped in a relative state of being dependent and needy, in search of someone to take care of her, not finding that person, and therefore suffering misery of a level that drove her to seek counseling. Her denial is that (1) she’s too lazy to get a job and that (2) her real belief is that she is entitled to have some other human take care of her.

    As is the case with all who have not Realized, their thoughts and words evidence the degree to which the consciousness has been distorted and the degree to which persons are imprisoned by their desires and fears.

    What deeds/actions generally follow such thinking as exhibited in Case “B”? With the “mind”-set currently being exhibited, the most likely scenario will be the forming of an attachment to one who can take care of her, the playing out of a hidden agenda, and eventual entrapment in a self-serving “relationship.” That has been her previous pattern and may well continue to be her pattern for the entire manifestation.

    The only freedom that can happen during the manifestation of the consciousness comes when one is freed of thoughts by eliminating belief in the content of the “mind”; when one is freed of the need to speak words constantly…to talk and talk and talk; and in the absence of being driven to go and do and zoom as a result of sleepwalking through the relative existence and being driven by distorted thoughts and warped beliefs.

    Again, the post-Realization existence is marked by an absence of the “chatter of a thousand monkeys” that is generated from the “mind” of the non-Realized. It is marked by a movement toward the silence; it is marked by happenings that only happen spontaneously and automatically as a result of being awake, aware, and conscious and as a result of not being driven by hidden agendas or attachments or fears or desires.

    Were Case “B” to Realize, she would understand that (1) whatever gives you pleasure will eventually give you pain and that (2) whatever gives you the most pleasure will eventually give you the most pain. (Consider that pointer in terms of your own failed relations, in regards to anything used in excess, or in regards to habits that eventually backfired on you.)

    Were “B” to Realize, she would be willing to settle for less rather than seek for more, and she would find a means by which her relative needs for food and clothing and shelter could be met independently rather than by subjecting herself to the entrapment by living in a state of dependence on another.

    In "Part Six" of this series, Case “C” will provide an example of the third pointer in this series. In Case “C,” visitors will see a man who has distorted his desire to gain power and his desire to have someone meet his financial and sexual needs into what he terms “love.” Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
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    To order, visit http://floydhenderson.com/order.htm .

    YES, WE SHIP INTERNATIONALLY. New rates by the USPS went into effect in May 2007. You may visit http://ircalc.usps.gov/ to calculate rates and view options. (Select your country, then in the “weight” box, estimate 1 pound per each book ordered.) Add $5 to cover package preparation, the assistant's trip to and from the PO, and the time for completion of international shipping forms.

    Friday, August 31, 2007

    PEACE EVERY DAY…OR NOT, Part Two

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    From a site visitor: “…Just been introduced to the ideas of Vedanta:How does one overcome day to day frustrations and feelings of anger etc that may arise during a normal working day? While alone, reading, or with friends (bascially pleasant situations) i find it obviously easier to be in a peaceful state, but when i am at work the general frustration and complaining that is part of my job takes over and everything i may read or meditate on just goes out of the window. I guess im saying, how does one start to make spritiual practice and the journey of Self-realization a part of ones working day? I simply find my feelings of frustation in a chaotic workplace overwhelming! Thanks for your time, Jaime

    F.: Ultimately, true peace can only happen when all wanting goes; when all desire to gain goes; when the effects of programming and conditioning and enculturation go; and when even the “you” that sent the inquiry goes. For now, that will sound a bit “far out,” so another consideration will be offered:

    Is it possible that nothing in that chaotic workplace is overwhelming “jaime” or making “jaime” frustrated and angry? Is it possible that a “chaotic workplace” is not the source of what jaime is feeling but that happenings in the workplace are merely triggering old wounds or old beliefs or old frustrations which are already present and “lying in wait” just below the surface?

    Is it possible that those inner factors are leaving you co-dependent, empowering other people and places and things to control you and how you feel? Is it possible that some assumed roles with hidden agendas and desires and fears are feeling threatened or are thinking that they are being interfered with, or are feeling hurt?

    A call yesterday that adumbrated the content of jaime’s e-mail provides evidence of the validity of those considerations offered above: a man was “frustrated,” then “angry,” then “livid” with his employer and a co-worker (and he told them so). They had overruled one of his decisions, first “minimizing his arguments” and then “discounting him” and ultimately “rejecting him completely.” Of course he called the wrong telephone number if he was expecting confirmation that his feelings were a result of two externals…the boss and a peer.

    Because he had shared openly some facts about his childhood during satsanga, it was already known that as a child he had been adopted because the woman, supposedly, could not have children. Subsequently, she became pregnant twice and the status of the adopted son would soon be likened to that of “a male Cinderella.” Not long after having their "own" children, the parents’ began to give all of their attention and affection to their "real children." The adopted son would be ignored, his accomplishments minimized. He felt discounted throughout the remaining years in that home. He felt rejected and less than and not enough and not good enough.

    Is it now clear why, thirty-five years later, he became frustrated and angry and livid yesterday when the painful scenario that had played out in his childhood was repeated in the workplace? After a short talk, he realized that his fear was that his job could be in jeopardy. He desires a bigger role in the operation in order to attain the raise he wants and the job security he desires. He wants respect. He wants to be noticed. Fears, wants, and desires. All prerequisites for misery.

    He saw that “nothing in that chaotic workplace frustrated him or made him angry” but that when two people spoke to him as if they were "The Parent" and as if he were "The Child," then decades-old "memories" surfaced immediately. Their rejection yesterday triggered “old wounds and old frustrations which were already present and ‘lying in wait’ just below the surface.” The boss and the peer did not make him angry. Their words merely triggered a mental-emotional process that allowed already-present anger to surface.

    His “inner factors" have left him "co-dependent, empowering other people and places and things to control him and how he feels." His "assumed role" of “The Director,” with its “hidden agendas and desires and fears, felt threatened and interfered with and hurt.” Are you seeing how, to emphasis a pointer from yesterday, one can be "taken hostage by personality, by externals, and by relative existence influences?"

    Persons are made miserable when ego combines with co-dependency in a sort of “mental marriage”—a condition that is experienced by billions of persons every day. Co-dependency can even manifest with total strangers whom persons empower to determine how they feel and what they do, as often happens in traffic, for example:

    “Who does that person think he/she is, to drag butt in the fast lane and slow me down?! What I need to do next is being interfered with by this numbskull! Damn, people are so inconsiderate and crazy that they drive me crazy!”
    In such instances, people you don’t even know will be allowed to control how you feel and how you react, just as people at work are "empowered" in the same fashion as well.

    And the fact is that the enculturation process has programmed people to also judge and blame and criticize themselves for the way that they think and feel and behave, ignoring the fact that programming, conditioning and enculturation remove all ability to "choose." Yet the fact is, jaime, that you might well be farther along the path to being restored to peace and sane living than the masses who are in denial around their misery and who are normalizing their fluctuations between dualistic periods of contentment and periods of anger and frustration.

    You can either try to rearrange the workplace or rearrange (more accurately “un-do”) the “mind” which becomes the great liability of all persons. The “mind” is an illusion, the product of all of the lies and ideas and concepts with which you have been programmed; however, an illusion can be significant, relatively speaking. If a driver on a road that is hugging the side of a mountain swerves to avoid a mirage in the road and plunges into the valley 1000 feet below, the mirage was certainly an illusion, but its effects are obvious when a person acts as if the false is real.

    So happenings in the workplace are not the cause of your anger and frustration. There are some ideas you have about the way jaime’s life should be unfolding (but isn't); some beliefs about what jaime deserves (but isn't getting); some perceptions about the way that things should be happening in “the world” (though they're certainly not happening that way); and some concepts about the “right way” that things in the workplace should be happening (but are not...and likely never will).
    It is a combination of those ideas and beliefs and concepts and expectations and old wounds that are driving your emotional reactions and causing you to experience emotional intoxication at times. You are invited to begin to seek, fearlessly and honestly, the real sources that are actually at the core of the fluctuations that you want to be free of. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
    READINGS RELATED TO TODAY’S POST:
    SEEKING “PEACE OF MIND”?

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  • Tuesday, June 26, 2007

    RELATIVE RESULTS OF NOT-REALIZING: Dependency, Co-Dependency, Multiple Personality Disorder, & Detachment from Reality (Belief in False Identities)

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    From a site visitor: I have tested as a type four personality with a strong helper component. I bought your book LIBERATION to understand myself even better, but instead you attacked me and those like me who choose to try to help people and make the world a better place. What is your problem with people helping people? What do you think is wrong with helping?

    F.: During satsanga, it is often asked after offering a pointer, “Now, what did you hear?” That component was added after years of hearing at the end of sessions, “I really agreed with you when you said…,” followed by something that was not said at all. Clarification is often required, and never any more than in your case, seemingly. So the concise version is this:

    1. If you are a type four, there is no “strong helper component.” There is, instead, an indication that you have disintegrated from anything that persons might call “the assets of a Four” into what persons might call “the liabilities of a Two.” For a Four to behave as a Two shows evidence of the presence of that which causes disintegration: either high stress or high piety accompanied by spiritual arrogance. Research shows that one or both of those always precede disintegration of the psyche.

    2. It is not “yourself” that you need to “understand better.” The invitation is to see that you are not yourself—that you are not what you take yourself to be—and then to find That Which You Truly Are. The synopsis of the book LIBERATION should have made clear that the intent of the work is less to help you understand personality and more to free you of the effects of personality.

    3. How many personalities do you think are beneficial? To abide as even one persona is troublesome enough—relatively speaking—but to be trapped in multiple personalities is far more troublesome...relatively speaking.

    4. The fact that "you" believe that there is a "you" who was attacked and that there is a “me” doing the attacking shows that you have much more to understand in regards to the Advaita Teachings.

    5. You are not “choosing” to do anything when you are driven to behave as a type you are not (in this case, a type two helper).

    6. There is no world, so there certainly is not any possibility of your making it better. Organized religions with a history of trillions of members and trillions of trillions of dollars have claimed that to be their goal, but after thousands of years in which to accomplish their goal, they haven’t changed anything for "the better." But your ego is telling you that the world is real, that it is "bad," and that you are going to play a key role in making it "good." So it is, when the warping of the consciousness results in belief in such dualities.

    7. The “problem with helping people” is your belief that you know what people need and can provide it. An educated man who was living on the streets of Houston explained that his drug use deprived him of the motivation to find employment, to work, to earn a way to pay for his shelter and food, and to become independent—not just from drugs but from his Dependent Personality Disorder that drove him to depend on others to meet his needs. He spoke of the thousands of dollars collected during his years on the street, money that was given by "well-meaning" persons who thought they were helping him by dropping money into his cup. He explained that what they thought was their “helping” was really their “harming” since it allowed him to continue to avoid employment and to continue his drug use.

    The intent is not to open a discussion of societal ills but to offer one specific example where persons who had adopted the role of “helper” did not have a clue about what that particular individual “needed” to shift him beyond his drug dependency and his dependency on “helpers.”

    8. As for "What do you think is wrong with helping?" Nothing. If so-called “helping” happens, it happens. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t. The "problem," relatively speaking, is when persons are trapped in personality, when they disintegrate into another personality type, when they reinforce dependency, when they reinforce co-dependency, when they reinforce Multiple Personality Disorder, when they encourage the assumption of—and belief in—false identifies, and when they encourage persons to detach from reality.

    As an example, many among the current generation of dependent and co-dependent young adults now live with mom and/or dad. Those parents believe that they are “helping” their children by encouraging something so unnatural. It has been pointed out that if one is truly Realized, he lives in the style of the deer in many ways. The doe feeds the fawn for a short time. The buck is there to protect, if need be. Soon, however, the fawn must meet its own needs for food and shelter. That is natural, and nisarga yoga is the method that guides persons beyond body-mind-personality identification, beyond dependency and co-dependency, and to a means of living a natural, AS IF existence.
    Grown deer does not depend on a “mother” or “father” to provide food. They find their own food or they starve. They do not wait for a “father” or “mother” to find shelter or to build a bed of straw for sleep. The Realized live in a natural fashion in all ways. To live in a supernatural fashion (as “The Religious One” or “The Spiritual Giant”) is most unnatural. Similarly, it is unnatural to live with any dependency or to assume any identity or to seek out helpers who are willing to care for an adult as if he/she were a child. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
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