YOUR DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, Part Three

F.: All of the factors that drive persons (and that rob them of their freedom and independence) are linked in one fashion or another to body-mind-personality identification and to the conditioning and programming that resulted in persons identifying with those three. Since the Realized Advaitin understands that de-accumulation could remove much of that which is the blight of the planet, what exactly might persons de-accumulate in order to bring about both independence and sane-like conduct? (A) The first thing to be de-accumulated is identification with a body that is adult in size and age but that is being being controlled unconsciously by a frustrated child within.

(B) Next to go could be the adult’s “mind” that leads the adult to think that it has its own beliefs and opinions when it really has nothing more than an accumulation of “their” beliefs and opinions—“their” being all of those persons who have programmed and conditioned that adult from childhood to the present. (C) Third to be rid of are the personality and the personas which unconsciously and subconsciously determine what adults do and say and think and feel, even as they erroneously believe that they are making conscious choices. Each will be discussed in detail, beginning today with the child within that exerts such a tremendous influence on adult behavior.

(A) First, the effects of childhood trauma in robbing adults of their independence will be addressed. Addicts in recovery can be heard to say, “I’m a teenager in an adult body.” Close, but no cigar. In truth, they are "small children, age six to twelve developmentally, in adult bodies." The planet is inhabited with billions of adults who behave like children, their development having been arrested at the point of a childhood trauma event.

Such events can include the divorce of their parents; the death of a parent; being given away physically to another relative or being abandoned emotionally; injury; being sent from the home and enrolled in school; dealing there with bullies, with abusive teachers trapped in the “Super Teacher” persona, with the stress of performance and testing, and with sex-related issues that arise, all combined with other instances of mental, emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse, ad infinitum.

As much as any other factor, childhood trauma and/or abuse and/or neglect account for much of the childish thinking and behavior of adults. Yesterday, a sixty-five-year-old woman, trapped in her role of “The Daughter,” was shown to be mentally and emotionally—and at times, physically—paralyzed by her mother’s early rejection and by her mother's continued criticism and control.

How truly influential are childhood incidents and/or cases of abuse when they have such an impact that they determine personality and then control the thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions of adults? How powerful were the effects of that woman's childhood trauma when it still, sixty-five years later, controls how she feels, dominates her thoughts, and still allows her mother to control her from a physical and emotional distance?

How often, you might ask, do children experience trauma? Most parents will deny having done anything that traumatized their children, and most children, even as adults, will deny that their parents ever did anything that traumatized them. It is typical among adults to try to normalize the presence of the elephant that was in their childhood home. The ego, too, must defend and make excuses for the parents' behavior.

Egotism will drive a person to believe that "if I admit that one parent was incompetent, then I'm 'half flawed,' but if both parents were incompetent, then I'm 'totally flawed'." Thus, the ego will drive children, even after having reached the age of an adult, to proclaim one of two things: [1] “Well, my parents did a pretty darn good job” (meaning, “You must admit, after all, that I turned out damn great”); or [2] “Well, they did the best they could” (ignoring the fact that the same could be said of Hitler). So what.

That sixty-five-year-old woman (who is still behaving like a five-year-old that is miserable because mom has never handed out those "atta-girls" that were desired) is typical of many adults who are still acting like children and still allowing parents to dominate them and thereby rob them of freedom and independence. While some admit that they suffered mental and/or emotional abuse at the hands of a parent, many do not want to admit to also having been victims of physical and/or sexual abuse. But all forms of abuse are very common.

Since 1950, over 60,000,000 cases of physical or sexual child abuse have been confirmed in the U.S. alone, and those are the known cases. Today, research shows that 1 in 3 citizens in the States are being abused or have been abused, meaning that more than 100,000,000 people living in the United States today have been abused. The numbers are even higher across much of the planet. Egotism will drive most to remain in denial about having suffered any trauma, so most will never receive treatment; thus, the effects of unresolved childhood trauma now control most of the thoughts, behaviors, and feelings of the planet’s adult-age population and are the roots of all addictive behavior.

And the statistics above do not include those who have hidden incidents of abuse or who have suppressed their memories of abuse events that occurred during childhood. As noted, many of the persons suffering from the trauma of abuse require professional-level treatment, but most will never seek it. One of the basic pointers of the Advaita Teachings is, “The cause of all is…all.” How far back must one go, therefore, to find the cause of present tensions, beliefs, anxieties, anger or rage? All the way.

Adults, driven by a frustrated child within (which they are usually not even aware of) either (a) feel empty and bored and frustrated that their dreams never came true; or (b) are convinced they “have it all” and are reveling in accumulations which will disappear some day; or (c) spend their lives seeking what they were not given during childhood; or (d) are so “full of self” that they have no awareness of the Real Self.

Thus, only a few will ever sense an occasional longing for True Self that is strong enough to drive them to say, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.” If they reach at least that level of consciousness, then they might seek to understand the many misidentifications that drove them to that point; thereafter, they might seek to understand the True Self and That Which Is beyond. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)

YOUR DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, Part Two

F.: Yesterday, it was seen that persons—those driven by personality and by the residue of childhood experiences—have neither freedom nor independence. Consider how debilitating it is to fear that “others” might see you as "bad" or might not "love" you; to fear that your culture’s definition of “success” might not be attained or to fear reality; to need to be seen as “The Expert”; to fear that “others” won’t take care of you;

to fear being deprived when you already have more than is required; to fear a lack of control and power; to be in fear of “loss.” Consider how childish it is for adults to desire being labeled as “good” or “lovable” or to desire mass approval and adulation; to want to be protected and supported and waited on rather than to support yourself. But those are the very fears and desires that are generated by personality and that persons deal with (often unconsciously) every day. Those are the fears and desires that rob persons of their freedom and their independence.

If a person sitting on death row in Huntsville, Texas were to tell you that he is not incarcerated, you would conclude that he was crazy. Consider how insane-like it is for persons to have neither freedom nor independence while imagining and proclaiming that they are free.

Persons, therefore, live in a prison that they call "their mind" while thinking that they live in “their world.” Their consciousness of self drives an existence that is focused on self and that is, therefore, self-centered and self-absorbed with their individual desires and fears. That is imprisonment...not freedom. Those desires and fears are rooted in personality, and personality depends on body and “mind” for sustenance. All persons are bound not just in personality but are bound as well by “mind” and body identification. In that false state of “mind,” ego differentiates and binds. That is imprisonment...not freedom.

Their false identifications are limiting, binding, and restricting, so neither freedom not independence can possibly happen. Because of belief in a false state, persons fail to understand the true state. Post-Realization, belief in differentiation is not even a possibility; being bound is an impossibility; being limited is totally unfeasible. And it is only when not limited that true freedom and real independence happen.

Identifying with the body and its form, persons haven’t a clue regarding their true, formless nature. Persons who find this site or who visit for satsanga are responding to a subconscious longing for that original state without form which is free of all desire and all fear. That subconscious search is generated by the will of the vestiges of pure consciousness to discard all of the phoniness, to know the real, and to be free once more of anxiety-producing fears and the frustration of unmet desires and unfulfilled expectations.

They long to be free of the inner memories of a child, memories that drive them as adults to wish for and hope for and long for truly childish things...things longed for, but not received, during childhood. Post-Realization, the remainder of the manifestation really can be enjoyed in an AS IF fashion without the longings of a child that were not met fifteen or thirty or sixty years ago.

Yes, sixty years ago, as was the case this week with a woman who at the age of sixty-five is still miserable because her mother to this day will not give her that “atta-girl” that she has longed for all her life. Just because that sixty-five-year-old can drive her car to the store or to another city or to another state does not mean that she is free. To the contrary, she is living within the triple-walled confines of (1) her “mind” and (2) the distorted consciousness and (3) the influence of a mother who was, is and shall always be physically, mentally, and emotionally-unavailable (all relatively speaking).

How can happiness in a sixty-five-year-old woman ever manifest when her thoughts, feelings, and actions are being controlled by a mirage called “mother”? How can happiness in a sixty-five-year-old woman ever manifest when her thoughts, feelings, and actions are being controlled by the desires and fears of “The Frustrated Child Within”?

If ever a case existed wherein a sixty-five-year-old person should be invited to declare her independence, it is that case. If ever a case existed wherein a sixty-five-year-old person should be invited to declare her independence from her false identity of “The Bad Daughter,” it is that case. All merely cycles, in this universe and in all universes. To the dismay of persons, misery and suffering can also cycle in the relative existence, from one generation to the next.

The lyrics of an old Mexican song contain these words that could have been spoken as well by “The Judgmental Mother” in the case above:

I don’t know how to love you.
I don’t even know how to embrace you,
Because what never leaves me
Is this pain that hurts me so.

The misery and suffering of one generation of non-Realized becomes the misery and suffering of the next generation of non-Realized. From as many persons as the daughter might seek advice, she could accumulate just that many pieces of advice about what she needs to do. The non-duality teachings, on the other hand, will explain that she need do nothing other than realize; namely, realize that (1) “daughter” and “good” and “bad” are the stuff of relativity; that (2) all relative "stuff" is illusory; and that (3) if she can see beyond that which is relative and illusory, she might glimpse That Which Is Real. Then, she’ll be able to be free of the binding and limiting “mind” that was generated in large part by a mother operating under the auspices of warped consciousness.

Freed of the effects of the warped consciousness of "her mother," she could realize that she can survive even if the fictitious role of “The Daughter” does not. Then, she could declare her independence from "The Judgmental Mother" and finally be free. [NOTE: Many persons suffer severely from the trauma of abuse and neglect. They might require professional counseling as part of a holistic treatment plan. Some have suppressed recall of the abuse incidents and don’t even know the source of the rage that surfaces on occasion or the nagging unrest that is ever-present.]

For those like the woman trapped in the role of “The Bad Daughter,” however, Realization can help break the chain of pain that is cycled among the non-Realized as they paint their relative existence with the broad strokes of their nonsense. What about you? What are you being moved to declare your independence from? What attachment to illusions, dogma, beliefs, ideas, persons, things, places, or possessions are you being moved to declare your independence from? Please enter the silence of contemplation.
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PERSONALITY DISORDERS VS. MENTAL ILLNESS: What the Advaita Teachings Can Address and What They Cannot, Part Two, The Conclusion

F.: Yesterday, the God Complex, depression, personality disorders, ego and ego-states were mentioned as some of the causes of the misery and suffering and outrageous acts of violence that (1) mark the human condition and that (2) are often addressed and eliminated via the Advaita Teaching. That said, there are conditions that the Teachings cannot address. It should also be noted that violence breeds violence…that the abused become the abusers. How common is abuse or the occurrence of traumatizing events? While the ego wants to say, “My parents did a great job, all things considered,” (meaning “I turned out great, all things considered”) studies are showing that the majority have suffered one or more traumatizing events by the time they reach their teen years.

TRAUMA
Emerging nowadays is a better understanding of the causes of trauma-related stress and anger and rage, of how many are truly being affected, and of new, effective methods for treatment. The Advaita Teachings are not the answer to this problem; instead, professional help from a specialist is a requirement. In the past, the estimated number of sufferers has been low, but now more realistic statistics are becoming available. The problem is common and the effects are widespread. When children are abused mentally, emotionally, physically, or sexually, a sense of powerlessness happens. Later, a desire for power can manifest, and when that desire is not met, repressed anger can explode into rage and subsequent acts of fury. While the Advaita Teachings address the perils of desires (including the desire for power and control), the effects of severe trauma indicate a need for professional intervention.

THE GOD COMPLEX
If you study the type of thinking that is generated by the God Complex, you see how rooted that disorder is in duality:

They need to reform and I can reform them.
They need punishment and I shall provide it.
I have the right to judge them.
I know who is right and who is wrong.
I know who is moral and who is immoral.
I can destroy them.

DEPRESSION
Clinical depression requires treatment by trained professionals. Situational depression has, on occasion, been addressed by the Teachings. Many who have come to discuss the pain of a divorce receive some respite when they understand the manner in which a threatened ego-state is driving those feelings. The Teachings provided clarity and respite for “floyd” when he was in what seemed to be the depths of fear and depression prior to Realization, a condition which was described thusly in one book:

He had reached a point where he felt as if he were a pane of glass, held in the hands of the world. He felt as if the thumbs of the masses were pushing so hard that they had bent him totally out of shape, putting him under so much strain that if anyone happened to apply even the slightest additional pressure, he’d shatter into a million pieces.

First, note the duality: “the masses” as opposed to “I.” Such levels of fear/paranoia and duality and depression, whether clinical or situational, can drive persons to thoughts of harming self or others. Many would suggest that being in the state described above is evidence of mental illness (and it might be in some cases), yet that depression was rooted in the belief that many prized (but false) identities were being "lost." At the time, "husband," "family man," "homeowner," "finance man" and a number of other false identities were ending. It can be seen now that assumed personas and personality disorders had accounted for those depths of fear and despair and depression. How can that be stated with certainty? No clinical treatment was required to address the issues. Realization addressed the issues, and it has been noted before that Realization can address personality disorders but that professional intervention is required to treat mental illness.

(Again, if you know someone who is suicidal, encourage the seeking of professional help. Sometimes the threats are cries for help, sometimes they are efforts to manipulate, sometimes they are attempts to punish self or others, sometimes they are histrionic outbursts, and sometimes they are completely serious. Many who have written to this site or who have called seeking help were advised to go to their nearest hospital emergency room instead. Only the most arrogant or the most ignorant would believe that their “method” or “philosophy” or “ideology” or “religion” or “program” alone has the solution for every problem.)

PERSONALITY DISORDERS
According to statistics reported by mental health providers and/or researchers, a fraction of humans suffer mental illness but almost all suffer one of more personality disorders. That having been said, there are also some personality disorders that can become so severe that professional assistance is indicated. For the “average” person/persona walking the planet, Realization could provide a means for eliminating the misery that is resulting from dualistic thinking and the subsequent arrogance and narcissism and self-absorption; however, personality disorders can reach such severe levels, as reported by the Enneagram Institute, that they too can inspire violent behavior:

Type Ones can become punitive and cruel to rid themselves of “wrong-doers.” Severe depression, nervous breakdown, and suicide attempts can happen. Type Twos can become able to excuse and rationalize what they do since they feel abused and victimized by others and are bitterly resentful and angry. Type Threes can reach a state of being psychopathic, capable of murder. Type Fours can become despairing, hopeless and self-destructive and can experience emotional breakdowns or suicide.

Type Fives can seek oblivion, may commit suicide, or can have a psychotic break with reality. They can become deranged, explosively self-destructive, and schizophrenic. Type Sixes can become self-destructive and suicidal. Type Sevens often give up on themselves and life and suffer deep depression and despair, self-destructive overdoses, or impulsive suicide. Type Eights may brutally destroy everything that has not conformed to their will rather than surrender to anyone else. They can become vengeful, barbaric, and murderous. Type Nines can become severely disoriented and catatonic.

EGO & ANGER
Linked to the God Complex is ego. Linked to ego is a desire for fame (or notoriety) and respect. Linked to the failure to attain the desired respect and fame are anger and frustration. Linked to anger and frustration are misery and suffering and insane-like behavior. An act of “road rage” where one driver shoots another who “disrespected him” by “cutting him off and taking his place” in a certain lane is not necessarily about insanity. It can be about ego, a desire for respect, a desire for power and control, and about the rage and anger that erupt when "respect" is not shown. Ego is at the core of what the Advaita Teachings attempt to remove. If the understanding of the Teachings happens, what is eliminated is ego-driven arrogance, anger, rage, the desire for power (even God-like power), the desire for control, misery, suffering, fear, and most of the insane-like behavior on the planet. Yet that will not happen on any widespread basis, so ego-states will continue to drive conduct.

Many ego-states can exist which, if hurt, interfered with, or threatened, can inspire violent or insane-like behavior: namely, “The Spurned Boyfriend/Spouse”; “The Victim”; “The Threatened (Failing) Student”; “The Outsider/Loner”; and "The Threatened Employee"; “The One Abused by Authority Figures.” As that uncle who worked in the mental health field taught, the 1-5% of the people who truly suffer mental illnesses at a clinical level are not the ones who are responsible for most of the crimes of passions that make the news. If they were, then everyone charged and tried would have to be found "not guilty by reason of insanity." That is not the case.

The majority of the crimes of passion that are happening on the planet have some ego-state that inspires one to “make mountains out of molehills” and then to live in the darkness of the mental and emotional valleys created in that process. Personas have no accurate perspective, but the Teachings can provide a realistic perspective which allows the Realized to witness all in the relative existence from a logical and rational stance. In the soon-to-be-released book entitled CONSCIOUSNESS, AWARENESS, AND THE NATURE OF REALITY (Peace Every Day When Abiding as The Absolute), the following pointer is offered:

“If not firmly fixed as The Nothing, then everything in the relative existence will be taken to be “something”: a breakup, a traffic ticket, problems with school assignments, problems while seeking employment, problems with neighbors, problems with persons not accepting you in the fashion you expect, problems with persons behaving in a way that is not pleasing to you, persons not properly “honoring you” in the manner your egoism desires, ad infinitum.”

CONCLUSION
While the Teachings cannot assist those with mental illnesses (or even those with personality disorders that have reached a violent stage), the Advaita Teachings can address the misery and suffering that is being inspired by the belief in duality and the assumption of ego-states as actual identities. The teachings begin by guiding the seeker beyond body and mind. Advancement along the “path” beyond that point requires the abandonment of personality. The abandonment of personality, in turn, would end much of the misery and suffering and outrageous acts of violence that mark the human condition. Have you taken the steps required to be free of the effects of personality? Please enter the silence of contemplation.

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