From site visitor Karen: “I wrote last fall before going to India to tell you I thought you were totally wrong about something. I’m not even sure right now what it was, but I remember your response angered me even more than what I wrote about in the first place. I was sure if I went to India I’d find what I was looking for. I also thought I was happy and just wanted to be “even happier” or “even more at peace.” I read a few of your postings about people being unhappy or miserable and thought none of that applied to me. I came back feeling high for weeks, but then I crashed. Everything started falling apart. Several months ago, a friend suggested I visit her therapist to see if she might be able to help me. I was diagnosed with depression and D.I.D. and have been getting some help. I think I deserve to be happy. I’m not even sure why I’m writing again, except maybe to admit that you were partly right. I didn’t find the answer in India, so I guess you’ll like hearing that.
F.: Hello Karen, I remember your e-mail about plans to visit India, but there is no “one” who can “like hearing” that “he was right.” The reason I did not endorse your trip was based in several facts: (1) A jnani offered satsang in a loft in his house in Bombay for decades, releasing persons—via his pointers—from the bondage of body and mind and personality identification. On the street behind his home were the buildings housing local prostitutes who were trapped in body identification, as were their customers. They were in India and could have walked one block to find release…but didn’t. Thousands came from elsewhere to sit at his feet, but millions already there in India ignored him. You were misled to believe that India today is a nation of the “Realized.” (2) I had traveled as widely in my search for the "answers," for more knowledge (learned ignorance), only to eventually learn one thing: no one needs to travel anywhere to Realize. A few transcriptions of pointers offered in satsang combined with a vision I had, and Realization sprang forth then and there...without leaving the house. That’s why two items are offered on my other site: first, transcriptions of talks [From the I to the Absolute] during sessions in which some proteges Realized, and second, a detailed recounting of the vision.
(3) Because I had to go nowhere for Realization to happen, I knew that no trip to anywhere was required of you. In fact, trips and going and doing and zooming prevent the Realization from happening. (4) Another reason I gave little credibility to any long-lasting results from your trip to India was based in the fact that not only are there as few Realized there as anywhere else but also there are many “professional spiritualists” in that country. You spent thousands of dollars and traveled around the globe and failed to get what you could have attained for $20 in your own home. Finally, (5) you are limitless, as limitless as the space. Freed of labels and conditioning, you are as the space, so what is the use of going anywhere to seek anything? Does the space in India differ from the space anywhere else? What is “there” is what is “here” as well as what is “everywhere.” You Are That which you seek. You need no knowledge. You Are whatever knowledge there is.
As far as “deserving to be happy,” there is no one to deserve happiness and there is no one to deserve misery. Misery is the guaranteed by-product of the programming and conditioning and enculturation that corrupts the formerly pure consciousness. It is not a matter of misery or depression being deserved or not. Both are the unavoidable consequence of being subjected to enculturation and to insane values and beliefs and dogma.
What can be endorsed at this point is your seeking of professional help which might provide a tool for solving the enigma you’re facing. Know that you are far ahead of most persons in admitting to your depression. Most are in complete denial. Too, understand that all persons (all not Realized) have multiple personalities though all don’t suffer from D.I.D. That is not to minimize the seriousness of D.I.D. in the relative existence but is mentioned merely to point out that the assumption of various personalities is common to the human population worldwide. There is nothing “wrong” with seeking assistance from those who are trained to treat the disorders you mentioned, just as there is nothing “wrong” when those who are suffering from body-mind-personality mis-identification seek assistance on their “journey.”
Also, if you are not following the proper food plan for your body type (and there are three different types that each need one of three different plans) then there can be a physiological impact upon your mental-emotional state as well, not unlike the imbalances involving the gunas and food plans that have been addressed for ages. (It should be understood that—in contrast to the ancient teachings around the gunas—yes, all can survive on a sattvic diet, but only 1/3 can prosper by following that plan. Modern research reveals that 1/3 prosper by following a rajasic plan and 1/3 prosper by following a tamasic plan. Note that this information is based in scientific evidence and has nothing to do with any god or gods that care about what you eat or don’t eat.) For now, I would suggest you stay the course you’re on, following the advice being offered by the professional since you said you have “been getting some help.” Neither depression nor D.I.D. should be ignored. They never just “go away.” The site will be here should you want to visit at a later date. Best regards.
For other site visitors, the severity of those two conditions aside, do you understand that all persons who have assumed varied personalities to define “who they are” will also suffer and will also be miserable? Do you understand that enculturation always results in being separated from reality? Do you understand that you need not travel the world to find that which is as close as the "inner resource" that you can tap into in order to find out Who or What you Truly Are and then be free? Please enter the silence of contemplation.
