Tuesday, April 03, 2007

“MIND” and MEMORIES: When Nature’s “Assets” Become Warped into “Liabilities,” Part Thirteen

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The very worst of each personality type in evidenced when persons are stressed, overly pious, or making money off their phony role-playing. How many on the planet are not either stressed, overly-pious, or receiving income for playing their roles? The negatives are prevalent—relatively speaking—and dominate the “human (persona) experience.”
[Continued from yesterday]

F.: Often, Type Sevens as children were trying to cope with a rigid or emotionally-unavailable or demanding parent (more often the mother). Sevens sense, rightly or wrongly, that the inflexible parent is never totally pleased with them or that the parent is never willing to fully accept their uniqueness. (That is generally a result of the fact that the mothers of many Sevens were either facing their own challenges at the time the Seven was a child; or had an attachment disorder; or were over-stressed because of circumstances but lacked the coping skills to deal effectively with those circumstances; or were preoccupied with their own agenda and interests.) Sevens as children become dedicated to trying to lighten the mood of the overly-serious parent. As a result, Seven’s end up on a life-long quest to have fun and escape restrictions (such as those imposed by a rule-loving parent). Later, however, they also become hesitant to make commitments in their own adult relations, preferring to keep many options open instead.

Often, Type Eights as children were trying to cope with a mother in a battle for control. Typically, the Eights succeeded in getting their way as a child and they expect to always get their way throughout their adult years as well. They usually become domineering and controlling and often want both earthly and “heavenly” power in order to have all of the power necessary in order to try to control everything and everyone.

Often, Type Nines as children were dealing with excessively supportive or indulgent parents, so as adults they have a sense of entitlement that makes work unattractive and creates an expectation that others should take care of them. Nines can become quite lazy and can use passive-aggressive methods to manipulate others to care for them.

(NOTE: It has been asked in the past, “If childhood and family conditions have such an influence on determining personality type, why do siblings so often have different personality types?” The answer is, “Because no two brothers or sisters are raised by the ‘same’ parents or in the ‘same’ family.” Meaning? Meaning that parents are in a state of flux and families are in a state of flux. The dynamics are never the same for any two children, though they might be members of the 'same' family, since economic cycles rise and fall, since the parents’ relationship ebbs and wans, and since the addition of each child affects the character of the family unit.)

Thus, the most common personality defects (as revealed above) which mar the relative existence include the following: self-absorption; judgmentalism; giving, but only in order to receive even more in return; viciousness; being overly-competitive; being phony; being aloof; being unavailable; being morbid; being fear-based and insecure; being blindly loyal; being an escapist; being a control freak; being demanding; and being lazy. Those are the typical products of the basic personality types. Add the defects that appear when persons adopt another twenty or thirty ego-states ("spouse," "employee," "lover," "homeowner," etc.) and the fallout from personality becomes overwhelming, throwing the entire planet into chaos. Some have asked: “What about those who are ‘healthy’ and behave ‘well’”? The answer is simple:

The very worst of each personality type in evidenced when persons are stressed, overly pious, or making money off their phony role-playing. How many on the planet are not either stressed, overly-pious, or receiving income for playing their roles? The negatives are prevalent—relatively speaking—and dominate the “human (persona) experience.”

The more significant Advaita pointer is this: when strategies (a) originated in the mind of a child who was trying to cope with abnormal circumstances and when those strategies (b) produced a specific personality and when (c) those childhood strategies are still driving abnormal and subconscious behavior years later, then those are strategies that actually should play no part at all in the relative-existence lives of adults. For freedom to happen, the warped “mind” that generated personality during childhood must be dissolved and the personality (and its persona-driven behaviors) must be discarded.

Next, there are two or three specific personality disorders that are common to each of the basic personality types, so those will be discussed. In the meanwhile, are you seeing any of those examples of personality in your own conduct? Do you see any evidence of those remnants of a child within often controlling your thoughts and behaviors? Are you seeing why Advaitin sages recommend being free of body-mind-personality identification?

Are you seeing why Advaitins make the point that the problems of the relative existence are rooted in personality and that, in order to be free of chaos, all personal attributes and personal identifications must be discarded? For more on that, click
  • here
  • Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued]

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