SHIFTS IN CONSCIOUSNESS, SHIFTS IN DEEDS, Part Six

FROM A SITE VISITOR: Do you think that the realized should be able to tolerate any kind of environment or any kind of people? It sounds like you are saying that. I’ve been reading your writings for several months and lately, there are people I spent a lot of time with before but now I’m not spending time with them at all. I’m not realized, but even if I were, I feel certain that there are some people I just wouldn’t want to be around. Art

F.: The non-Realized often “stay” around persons because of desires and fears or perceived needs (such as, “I need a very high lifestyle but I am not willing to work for it and pay for it myself”) or an egotistical sense of entitlement (e.g., “I am so special that I deserve to be taken care of by someone else”).

Driven by their hidden agendas, persons generate ego-states with attachments, which are always accompanied by co-dependency. Why? “Husband” cannot exist without “Wife,” and vice versa; “Employee” cannot exist without “Employer,” and vice versa; “Taker” cannot exist without “Giver,” and vice versa; "The Rescued" cannot exist without "The Rescuer," and vice versa.

After the assumption of false identities with agendas, attachments, and co-dependencies, the non-Realized tolerate misery in order for their perceived needs and desires to be met or in order for their fears to be allayed. All the while, their level of denial allows them to convince themselves that they are happy or “comfortable” in spite of not being free. That is, of course, impossible.

The non-Realized do not gravitate toward peace, silence, and reality. Many among the non-Realized seek out those that they can use (speaking, of course, in the most basic, relative sense). Their misery is then generated when the ones they use assume a sense of “ownership” in the absence of the users’ lack of “earnership.” If you take “their” money and earn none of your own, that might seem “comfortable” for a time (as Case “A” claims) but the observable misery that manifests long-term provides evidence to the contrary.

Thus, the non-Realized do not move toward peace and quiet and agenda-less, attachment-free living. They seek out ways and means by which they can sustain their ego-states and that actually reinforce their dependencies and co-dependencies. The result is mental and emotional imprisonment, as illustrated in case study “C.”

Today’s post studies a man who has distorted his desire to gain power and his desire to have someone meet his financial and sexual needs into what he terms “love.” Because of his agendas (most of which are even hidden from him) he is “staying” even though he has been placed in the role of “The Child” and is claiming that he is “in love with” the woman playing “The Parent.”

Case “C”: Regarding the desire to gain power and to have someone meet financial and sexual needs and then labeling that “love”
Case “C” is a man who has generated a more-than-typical share of relative existence problems and consequences: heavy substance abuse; incarceration; parole; an inability to find decent housing; charming a recently-divorced woman who received a large settlement; moving into a house she owns; and now living the lie of appearing to be a “grand success” in her upscale neighborhood.

At home, he has been told to “cover up his past” among the neighbors and he deals with daily reminders that it is she who owns the house he lives in. Recently, a long-time acquaintance gave him a job, overpaying him $1000 per week out of “friendship.” He was informed by his female benefactor that all of his checks must be direct deposited into her account and that he will receive a weekly allowance (“$50 a week should cover whatever you need. In turn, you get to live in a beautiful home, with me”).

Before, he had felt economically powerless, unable to buy anything on credit and unable to find decent housing. Now, he is able to ride the coattail of her financial “power” as long as they stay together. His sexual “needs” and lifestyle desires are being met, but at the cost of his harmony (and his entire paycheck).

Claiming he is “more than comfortable” and is actually “joyous” and “in love,” he is nevertheless prone to fits and outbursts and raging as a result of the tension of having to hide his past, as a result of playing phony roles in the neighborhood, and as a result of assuming “The Child” ego-state to her “Parent” role. With his current income, he could now live well on his own, but he could not live in a mansion in an upscale neighborhood.

The phoniness of playing “The Successful Businessman” who also appears to be “The Wealthy Homeowner” (while living like “The Child” indoors) is taking a relative toll as he lives a lie while putting on hold earlier efforts to answer, “Who am I, really”?

He slipped for just a moment and admitted that sometimes he “had felt freer a year ago when he was living alone in a tiny apartment in a low-rent area of town,” but he immediately reverted to reciting his lines from the script of the roles being played in “The Drama of the Lie”: “But I’ve found the woman of my dreams, I love her and her children, we’re in a great neighborhood and a beautiful home, so it’s all good.” Meanwhile, she has twice postponed their scheduled marriage.

He has not yet realized that dreams can easily become nightmares when phony role-playing blinds persons to the fact that whatever provides pleasure will someday provide pain. He has not realized how loosely persons toss about the word “love” in order to justify and even “sanctify” their self-centered actions that have nothing to do with love. Such are the circumstances of those persons who are attached to the illusions of the phenomenal and who haven’t the slightest clue about the reality of the Noumenon.

Is it any wonder that Maharaj said,
“The world is nothing but the picture of your own ‘I’ consciousness”
and
“All is dishonesty”
and
“There is no truth in this fraud”
and
“Only that false ‘I’ is attached. Everything is just happening, and the false ‘I’ is taking the credit for doing things.” Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)

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CONSCIOUSNESS IN MOTION: A Journey into the Dark Abyss of the “Mind,” Part Four

F.: The Realized are “sure” about nothing. Quite to the contrary, among the Realized there is no who to be “sure” of anything and there can be nothing to be “sure about” after having reached a state of zero concepts. Contrary to the Realized, persons are sure about everything, including their concepts, their beliefs and (especially) their perceptions—no matter how distorted those perceptions might be. For example, in Case #1 a man was seen who is sure that his problems have been caused by his wife, who is sure his family is another source of his troubles, and who is sure that his job and peers are also at fault.

In Case #2, a woman was seen who is sure that divorce only affects children for 24 months, is sure that she was right 95% of the time in her first marriage, is sure that there’s nothing unusual about a Christian praying daily for the death of her child's father, is sure that manipulation can be “good,” and is sure that there's a god who is always focused on her…micro-managing her life and sending men with money to met her financial needs.

Are you beginning to understand why Maharaj predicted that no more than one in a million will ever Realize (including those who sat at his feet)? Remember, too, that the three cases in this series are examples of an average level of warped consciousness. Instances of far greater degrees of warping are witnessed regularly.

After having worked with over 6000 seekers, it can be said that such “mind” clutter (and such movement and instability of consciousness) is far more common than some might guess. Is it clear why so few will ever Realize when so many are so sure that their dualistic views and concepts and beliefs are the “right” ones? Case #3 reveals another person who is sure about things:

CASE #3
“I’ve lost my second job now because of a particular kind of misconduct. [Crying] I can’t believe this. It’s the same thing all over again, but these rules and laws are ridiculous. Don’t the other parties also have to be held accountable? Am I the only one at fault here? I’m so upset I’ve thrown up twice. But you know what? To hell with ‘em all. Ultimately, there’s only God’s will. I’m just a spiritual creature having a human experience, so what the hell. My problems before have worked out and they'll be worked out this time too. My faith is in God: when He closes a door, he opens a window. I really believe all of this is for my own good. I think this is going to lead to something that is greater for me than anything I’ve ever had before. It's a blessing in disguise. I will think positive thoughts and the power of that positive thinking plus my faith in God will make better things happen than I can even imagine.”

If you review all three cases, there are several common threads because the consciousness in all three cases share the common trait of having been warped. Now, all three persons are exhibiting ambiguities, outright contradictions, and instability (all wrapped up in their assuredness that their perspective is "right" and that "it's all those others who are wrong" and causing their problems. Of that, they are sure.) Note too that all three persons have at least visited the third stage of the seven-step “journey” to Reality: the first tried religion for a year but it obviously did not re-purify the consciousness; in the second example, a woman is totally embroiled in her religious ego-state, but playing that role has not re-purified the consciousness; and in the third example, a man has assumed the role of "The Spiritual One" but that role-playing has not re-purified the consciousness.

No surprise. Once again, persons can be witnessed who are stuck near the halfway point on a “path”; who think they have completed their entire "religious or spiritual journey"; who think they have arrived at some religious or spiritual pinnacle; who believe that they have reached their “destination” as far as spiritual journeys are concerned; and who are sure that they understand "themselves" and "others" and god and how the universe functions. In fact, they are completely embroiled in the fakery of their role-playing, are trapped in their attachment to the phenomenal, and haven’t a clue about the reality of the noumenon.

Is the following pointer offered in the book There’s No Such Thing As “Peace of Mind” (There Is Only Peace if You’re Out of Your Mind) becoming clearer?

Consciousness is rooted in the Absolute. The brain is rooted in the elements. The “mind” is rooted in wrong programming, in faulty conditioning, and in the lies and concepts and ideas and superstitions and falsehoods of cultures. Personas are rooted in programmed minds and are sustained by the ego-based lies and by the learned ignorance that are being taught in most modern cultures.

Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be concluded tomorrow)
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RELATIVE RESULTS OF NOT-REALIZING: Dependency, Co-Dependency, Multiple Personality Disorder, & Detachment from Reality, Part Two

[First, a note to “Ana” who wrote that she “hates this life and wants to die.” You did not provide a full e-mail address, so a response will be posted here. If the e-mail is legitimate and if you are willing to discuss your comments in more detail, please send contact information. A private response will be provided.]

From a site visitor: I have tested as a type four personality with a strong helper component. I bought your book LIBERATION to understand myself even better, but instead you attacked me and those like me who choose to try to help people and make the world a better place. What is your problem with people helping people? What do you think is wrong with helping?

F.: Since you are defending the role of “The Helper” which you have disintegrated into, it is appropriate to discuss the dependency and co-dependency that always result from assuming roles. Of course, all persona-assumption generates co-dependency: “The Husband” cannot exist without “The Wife”; “The Helper” cannot exist without “The Needy” or “The Infirmed”; “The Giver” cannot exist without “The Taker.” Research by Anne Wilson Schaef and Dr. Edward L. Zuckerman reveal some of the other roles that persons assume and that generate co-dependency and dependency:

“The Rescuer” (who often covers up for and enables); “The Caretaker” (who minimizes relative existence consequences and who supports dependency in others); “The Joiner” (who enables dependent types to rationalize and perpetuate their dependency); “The Hero” (who plays the part of protecting family or individual images and who “sacrifices”); “The Adjuster” (who avoids identifying and addressing problems and hides the truth); “The Family Man” or “The Family Woman” (who values loyalty over truth, who can encourage avoidance of feelings, who supports distortion and denial, and who encourages the superficial).

The researchers also offer some of the typical characteristics of co-dependents (which make a relative-existence case for Full Realization which can end both dependency and co-dependency):

Co-dependents lack boundaries, believe they cannot survive without a particular person, are plagued by fears (especially a fear of abandonment), and have the distorted view that relative existence relationships can be “perfect.” They often become egotistical, thinking they are indispensable, and they often adopt an additional persona called “The Martyr.” Though they seemingly reach outward to “help,” they really become self-centered, personalizing all events, assuming responsibility for the behavior of other persons, and working to attain love (which they sense they have never received to the degree desired).

They eventually attempt to control everything and everyone and believe that with more effort they can “fix” individuals or families. Though often emotionally-intoxicated, they become unaware of feelings and become dishonest as they try to manage images and distort truth.

They can "try to change" in order to please others, can feel responsible for meeting other people's needs at the expense of their own, and can become driven by compulsions. Eventually they develop anxiety and are prone to become enmeshed in relationships with those exhibiting personality disorders and/or dependencies and/or impulsive conduct.

Several of the following will usually manifest in dependent and/or co-dependent types: depression; hypervigilance; compulsions; anxiety; substance abuse; recurring instances of abuse at the hands of others; stress-related medical illnesses; and a propensity to remain in a primary relationship with an active user or abuser. They can become unassertive and submissive (though exploding into rage on occasion); they can become over-sensitive to others' difficulties; and they are very adept at “putting up a front.”

Note, also, that the assumption of personality never happens in a "one persona" fashion. Once “The Husband” is assumed, “The Parent,” “The Provider,” “The Protector,” “The Homeowner,” “The Finance Man” or any number of other roles are also assumed. That feature of role-assumption guarantees that the Multiple Personality Disorder will always manifest among the non-Realized, along with the detachment from reality that role-playing guarantees.

So, to revisit your question, “What do you think is wrong with helping?” you should see that the pointers here do not discourage any happenings from happening: husbanding can happen, teaching can happen, helping can happen, etc. Among the Realized, those happenings can also not happen, and neither misery nor suffering nor emotional intoxication accompany those occasions. The point is, those happenings can happen without accepting a false identity as a true identity.

The relative existence problems that arise for persons (for the non-Realized) have nothing to do with whether helping (or anything else) happens or not. They have to do with the traits and behaviors described above that are generated by the assumption of roles and by the dependencies and the co-dependencies that always follow. Please enter the silence of contemplation.
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“MIND” and MEMORIES: When Nature’s “Assets” Become Warped into “Liabilities,” Part Thirteen

The very worst of each personality type in evidenced when persons are stressed, overly pious, or making money off their phony role-playing. How many on the planet are not either stressed, overly-pious, or receiving income for playing their roles? The negatives are prevalent—relatively speaking—and dominate the “human (persona) experience.”

[Continued from yesterday]

F.: Often, Type Sevens as children were trying to cope with a rigid or emotionally-unavailable or demanding parent (more often the mother). Sevens sense, rightly or wrongly, that the inflexible parent is never totally pleased with them or that the parent is never willing to fully accept their uniqueness. (That is generally a result of the fact that the mothers of many Sevens were either facing their own challenges at the time the Seven was a child; or had an attachment disorder; or were over-stressed because of circumstances but lacked the coping skills to deal effectively with those circumstances; or were preoccupied with their own agenda and interests.) Sevens as children become dedicated to trying to lighten the mood of the overly-serious parent. As a result, Seven’s end up on a life-long quest to have fun and escape restrictions (such as those imposed by a rule-loving parent). Later, however, they also become hesitant to make commitments in their own adult relations, preferring to keep many options open instead.

Often, Type Eights as children were trying to cope with a mother in a battle for control. Typically, the Eights succeeded in getting their way as a child and they expect to always get their way throughout their adult years as well. They usually become domineering and controlling and often want both earthly and “heavenly” power in order to have all of the power necessary in order to try to control everything and everyone.

Often, Type Nines as children were dealing with excessively supportive or indulgent parents, so as adults they have a sense of entitlement that makes work unattractive and creates an expectation that others should take care of them. Nines can become quite lazy and can use passive-aggressive methods to manipulate others to care for them.

(NOTE: It has been asked in the past, “If childhood and family conditions have such an influence on determining personality type, why do siblings so often have different personality types?” The answer is, “Because no two brothers or sisters are raised by the ‘same’ parents or in the ‘same’ family.” Meaning? Meaning that parents are in a state of flux and families are in a state of flux. The dynamics are never the same for any two children, though they might be members of the 'same' family, since economic cycles rise and fall, since the parents’ relationship ebbs and wans, and since the addition of each child affects the character of the family unit.)

Thus, the most common personality defects (as revealed above) which mar the relative existence include the following: self-absorption; judgmentalism; giving, but only in order to receive even more in return; viciousness; being overly-competitive; being phony; being aloof; being unavailable; being morbid; being fear-based and insecure; being blindly loyal; being an escapist; being a control freak; being demanding; and being lazy. Those are the typical products of the basic personality types. Add the defects that appear when persons adopt another twenty or thirty ego-states ("spouse," "employee," "lover," "homeowner," etc.) and the fallout from personality becomes overwhelming, throwing the entire planet into chaos. Some have asked: “What about those who are ‘healthy’ and behave ‘well’”? The answer is simple:

The very worst of each personality type in evidenced when persons are stressed, overly pious, or making money off their phony role-playing. How many on the planet are not either stressed, overly-pious, or receiving income for playing their roles? The negatives are prevalent—relatively speaking—and dominate the “human (persona) experience.”

The more significant Advaita pointer is this: when strategies (a) originated in the mind of a child who was trying to cope with abnormal circumstances and when those strategies (b) produced a specific personality and when (c) those childhood strategies are still driving abnormal and subconscious behavior years later, then those are strategies that actually should play no part at all in the relative-existence lives of adults. For freedom to happen, the warped “mind” that generated personality during childhood must be dissolved and the personality (and its persona-driven behaviors) must be discarded.

Next, there are two or three specific personality disorders that are common to each of the basic personality types, so those will be discussed. In the meanwhile, are you seeing any of those examples of personality in your own conduct? Do you see any evidence of those remnants of a child within often controlling your thoughts and behaviors? Are you seeing why Advaitin sages recommend being free of body-mind-personality identification?

Are you seeing why Advaitins make the point that the problems of the relative existence are rooted in personality and that, in order to be free of chaos, all personal attributes and personal identifications must be discarded? For more on that, click

here

Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued]

“MIND” and MEMORIES: When Nature’s “Assets” Become Warped into “Liabilities,” Part Twelve

The very worst of each personality type in evidenced when persons are stressed, overly pious, or making money off their phony role-playing. How many on the planet are not either stressed, overly-pious, or receiving income for playing their roles? The negatives of personality—relatively speaking—are prevalent and dominate the “human (persona) experience.”

[Continued from yesterday]

F.: If one walks into a forest and becomes lost, the surest way out is to retrace one’s steps, exactly, in reverse order. Similarly, the “path” to Realization is the exact opposite, step-by-step, of the way one became lost in body-mind-personality identification. This series is showing how the contamination process happened in order to see what must occur for the re-purification of the consciousness to happen. Only if one sees, “Oh, my gosh, yes, that applies to me” might one realize why the “journey” is indicated as the appropriate “treatment” for what ails the earth’s human population.

Therefore, the earlier points that “persona-playing will lead persons to personality disorders” and that "adults behave in childish ways" should now be understood. What remains to be understood is what those “bizarre circumstances” are that drive children to develop a specific personality and to behave in the ways that are unique to that personality type.

Each of the nine personality types identified by the enneagram, therefore, developed certain traits and behaviors in childhood that “worked” to some degree in those early, unhealthy parent-child relations but that become major obstacles when applied to adult-aged relations (which are most typically marred with the playing of “The Child role” or “The Parent role” in the absence of “Adult”-appropriate conduct). Here are the abnormal home conditions that generate personality and that set children on a destructive course as they apply their childhood strategies to adult-age circumstances (meaning, as they unconsciously allow personality to dictate the ways that they think, emote, and behave):

Often, Type Ones as children were trying to cope with a rigid, judgmental environment in which parents set forth unreasonably excessive moral and ethical demands and expectations, especially involving religious restrictions. Ones become reformers or perfectionists, can become highly self-critical if they don’t adhere as adults to the parental expectations that were set forth during childhood, can become judgmental, and will often label others as being “bad” or “evil.”

Often, Type Twos as children were trying to cope with an environment in which parents were emotionally unavailable, were offering only a conditional version of love, or wherein a parent (often the father) was in absentia, physically or otherwise. They can spend their entire adulthood is a search for love and will give away far too much in the quest.

Often, Type Threes as children were reacting to an especially indulgent parent (often to the mother). Sometimes, an abusive male parent was present, and the hiding of family secrets set the stage for manufacturing the images that were shown outside the home (which were quite different from the abusive reality that existed inside the home). The stage was set for creating and maintaining positive images while living darker lives behind closed doors. Threes, therefore, can experience a sense of incongruity since their "positive" outside image never ...

This is an excerpt from the book
THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS “PEACE OF MIND”
(There Is Only Peace if You’re Out of Your Mind)

For information on the book, visit http://advaitavedantabooks.blogspot.com/

To order the book, visit
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(You can use the Special Message box)

Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued]

“MIND” and MEMORIES: When Nature’s “Assets” Become Warped into “Liabilities,” Part Ten

Three factors cause persons to attach to their false identities, to be driven to fight to defend their false personality / personalities, to descend into the depths of what some professionals term “an unhealthy psyche,” and then to suffer the effects of personality disorders. Those three factors are (1) stress, (2) extreme piety or spirituality, and (3) the linking of money / income with a persona.

FROM A SITE VISITOR: your mind/memory series is interesting, but I don’t get the exact connection with the direct path you claim to offer.

[Continued from yesterday]

F.: To clarify for the sake of the one who sent the above e-mail, consider: there’s a regular visitor to this site who had prostate cancer. If the passing of blood had not happened, he would have never known the problem so he would never have sought the solution. This series is identifying the root of the widespread problems of the planet in order that site visitors might (a) better understand the cause of their problems and also know that (b) the Advaita Teachings offer a solution.

While many would dismiss other persons as “insane” if they disagree with them, most behavior that appears to be insane is actually rooted in personality. So that is the problem. Then, knowing the problem, one might be willing to seek the solution, namely, Realization. For some, the direct path offered on this site or in the retreats being offered again will "work" for some persons; the traditional path might work for some seekers; and other, newer approaches might work for other seekers. The solution is found when the suitable "path" is followed to its end.

So, the problems of the planet are, for the most part, rooted in “personality conflict.” That is a term that is typically used to minimize the reasons that a "relationship" "failed," but the term can be used accurately in light of the statistics posted yesterday: while up to 5% of the planet’s population was shown by research to have mental illnesses, 99% have personality disorders. As evidence, one estimate is that 99% suffer from ...

This is an excerpt from the book
THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS “PEACE OF MIND”
(There Is Only Peace if You’re Out of Your Mind)

For information on the book, visit http://advaitavedantabooks.blogspot.com/

To order the book, visit
http://floydhenderson.com/order.htm
(You can use the Special Message box)

Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued] For additional information, click

here

TRANSCENDENCE: Not “Death,” but the “Death” of Ego, the “Death” of False Identities, the “Death” of Misperceptions, Part Three, The Conclusion

FROM A SITE VISITOR: [Received 1 March 2007] Found your site recently. Some of your writings have helped more since my wife left than the so-called “pros” I went to and the so-called “support groups” but that old husband idea is still kicking my ass (pardon the French.) What you wrote today about being energy and not really being a husband is trying to tell me something but husband still feels very real right now and so does his pain. Any other tips?

[Continued from yesterday]

F.: Next, accept that “she” will likely soon be playing another part, another role, with another actor. So it is. If you don’t awaken, you too will soon be playing another part, another role, with another actress. Do you really want such phoniness any more? If you do, then the readiness is not there and you’ll soon be back on the stage, lost in the angst of another bit of drama. This is not about your getting free of “her.” It is about your being free of “him,” free of a false identity called "The Husband" which you feel is now dying. The same applies to females visiting the site: the trap is to assume a false identity-lose the false identity-then go into high gear to re-create the false identity.

If you are tired enough of the misery and drama that accompanies this role (and all roles), then you’ll begin the “journey” of shifting to Truth and Reality. If not, the repetition compulsion will drive you to recreate the same drama all over again…and again…and again. It was asked recently by a site visitor, “Are you married, or at least dating?” The answer was, "That which is called 'dating' is happening, and happening in a most entertaining fashion, thank you very much. As for 'married,' yes; in fact, we are both married…to freedom."

So, to review: whimpers may happen during the relative existence since feelings can happen even as ego-inspired emotional intoxication ends. Sometimes sobbing might happen. Sometimes crying convulsively might happen. Of course emotional intoxication never happens among the Realized. If feelings are witnessed to rise and fall, none of that has anything to do with the re-purified consciousness. Should you continue to search for a peaceful resolution, then the core of the problem must be understood: abandon attachment to personality. A site visitor recently admitted that he is now overly-engaged in personality analysis, using the enneagram to better understand himself. That still keeps the focus on the personality or personalities and reinforces the false. He was offered this pointer after inquiring about the enneagram:

You do not need more knowledge. The only thing you need to be aware of about any of the nine types of personality is that they drive people, that none of the personalities are you, and that all personality is to be transcended if you would be sane and happy.

If you would realize That Which You Truly Are, then forfeit body identification first and then begin eliminating the belief that your personality and the roles you play can define What You Are. The result of belief in the fictional “self-concept” is this: the self-concept drives behavior, makes you think that you are entitled to this or that, that you do not have to tolerant this or that, that you deserve more than this or that, that you need this or that, that your fears are real and are justifiable, and that your desires are not only justified but will lead to happiness if attained.

The false self will drive you to believe that you “create your own reality,” which is maximum nonsense. [You can search this site for further discussion of the insane thinking that drives persons to believe that they can create anything, much less “reality.”] Belief in “the self” will result in a belief in your false, perceptual reality (which you will take to be “your own reality,” self-created). It will drive you to believe that you are in the world and will prevent you from seeing that the world is in you. [For more on this subject and the following pointer as well, visit http://www.advaitaquotes.blogspot.com]

That perceived "world" is actually nothing more than a subjective, erroneous perception that is unquestioningly believed to be real. You might as well believe that the actors seen on the screen of a movie theater are really there and are truly real. They are not real, and neither is the role that is driving your current misery. If you would stop the troubling thoughts, do not try to control the "mind" and do not try to stop thinking. It will never happen. Instead, find WHO is doing that "talking" inside your head. That is, ask, "Which role, which false identity, is generating the current thoughts that are so disturbing?" Only by eliminating belief in the role that is generating the thoughts will the thoughts come to an end.

Should the mourning that accompanies the “death” of ego, the “death” of false identities, and the “death” of misperceptions give way to the laughter of Realization, then please write to report the event. For now, you're invited to enter the silence of contemplation (or to consider forfeiting belief in the ego-states that are not allowing the silence to happen inside your head).

TRANSCENDENCE: Not “Death,” but the “Death” of Ego, the “Death” of False Identities, the “Death” of Misperceptions, Part One

“…If you cling to the false identity of “husband,” you shall never find the True Self, so peace will never happen consistently. If you find the True Self, then “husbanding” or “not husbanding” can happen…and consistent peace will happen either way.”

FROM A SITE VISITOR: [Received 1 March 2007] Found your site recently. Some of your writings have helped more since my wife left than the so-called “pros” I went to and the so-called “support groups” but that old husband idea is still kicking my ass (pardon the French.) What you wrote today about being energy and not really being a husband is trying to tell me something but husband still feels very real right now and so does his pain. Any other tips?

F.: Yes, certain other “tips” can be offered. First, rest in the assurance that what you are discussing in your e-mail can be transcended. It is possible for you to reach a state of being that is beyond the so-called “material experiences” or “relative existence experiences” that are not being experienced by You at all but that are being imagined by your assumed, false identities to be real. (That is not intended to minimize the current relative pain that you're perceiving.) Many persons over the years have responded to that assurance with such retorts as, “How could something that I can actually feel not be real?” Well, amputees report that occasionally they can “feel an itch” in a missing foot, can “feel pain” in a missing leg, or can “feel their missing hand” grasping an object. Are those feelings real? No. Are they perceived to be 100% real? Yes. So it is with your imaginary ego-state of "husband" and what it perceives it is “feeling.”

Transcending the disappointments and chaos and misery and pain of this relative existence does not require a “physical death.” One definition of “to die” is “to cease” or “to disappear.” Using those definitions, understand that freedom from your illusory pain can come if you allow the ego to “die,” if you allow the false identities and role-playing to “die,” and if you allow the distorted misperceptions to “die.”

The following will seem cold to some persons, but it is the primary lesson that you must grasp at this point on your “journey” through this relative existence. Here is the primary pointer: if you cling to the false identity of “husband,” you shall never find the True Self, so peace will never happen consistently. If you find the True Self, then “husbanding” or “not husbanding” can happen…and consistent peace will happen either way. Understand that neither “husband” nor “True Self” has any form. Understand the unreality of one and the reality of the other and then ego, identities, and misperceptions shall be transcended.

“Husband” was a figment of someone’s imagination, a label dreamed up only about 800 years ago after 13.5 million years of “human-type experiences” happened without that false identity. You have bought into someone’s imagining and allowed someone else to assign that role to you. Ever since, that role has determined how you feel and think and behave.

Can you see the degree of influence that role assumption can have, especially when combined with a belief in the concept of “possession,” a concept that suggests that a woman can become “my wife” or that a man can become to a woman “her husband”? Belief in the concepts of “human possession” and “personal ownership” is so strong that in the U.S., 59% of all women killed and 41% of all men killed are murdered during breakups when personas believe that their possessions and their identities are being stolen or lost.

And all of that misery (and even murder) happens in defense of a formless mirage…a figment of imaginings generated by the programmed “mind.” How to be free of the effects of the programmed “mind”? Understand that the “mind” is the root of all illusion. How to be rid of the “mind”? It must be turned in on itself, so to speak, in order that all of its fallacious concepts can be seen to be untrue. (What actually happens is that some vestige of pure consciousness becomes aware of the condition of the corrupted consciousness and discards the content of the fictional “mind.”)

In that light of awareness, the “mind” is burned away like a skin cancer that is exposed to the light amplification of a laser; then, the belief in untruths is allowed to “die” (i.e., “to cease” or “to disappear”). Then the “pathway” to truth is cleared of the obstacles of deceit and can be followed step-by-step to Full Realization, to Full Liberation, to Full Freedom.

Again, is the solution to never marry? Of course not, but the only way to avoid your emotional intoxication and emotional pain is to accept that marriage might happen or might not, but in either case it must happen without the playing of phony roles and without the adoption of false identities, if peace is to be maintained.

By the way, the True Self, like the imaginary “husband,” is also formless. It is not “the True Witness” if you assume that Witness to be something with a form. More accurately, it is merely formless witnessing. Abandon the goal to preserve “husband” or to mourn the “death” of “husband” and make it a goal to find the True Self so that objective, pure witnessing can happen. That alone will free you of the effects of the emotional intoxication and the emotional hangovers that happen as false identities "come" and as false identities "go." Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued]

YOU CANNOT STOP THE “MIND,” SO YOU MUST ELIMINATE IT COMPLETELY, Part One

FROM A SITE VISITOR: Hi Floyd, Angie here. I read your blogs from time to time and although I have some difficulty understanding the concepts you speak of, I am definitely interested in some of the ideas. The thing is, I have been thinking about the self/Self for a while now and asking a lot of questions. For the last few days, I have had some images running through my mind. The first includes the words \"look\" and \"see\", and the second is only a question...\"What do I ask now?\" I usually find that the answers come, but I\'ve walked into the hallway of a building full of closed doors. I think sometimes I lose my mind in the best way, but now...she\'s back in gear. Any insights? THank you for taking the time to read this. Angie

F.: Hello, Angie. Thx for visiting and for writing. First, if you “have some difficulty understanding the concepts” on the site, feel free to submit requests for clarification about any specific pointers that you need explained in more detail.

Next, if you’re giving consideration to the self/Self, and if you can expand (a) “asking a lot of questions” into (b) questioning it all, then you will have set the stage for the “journey” to Full Realization. Complete that seven-step "journey" and you will be freed from being jerked around by the influence of a "geared up mind" and by the nonsense in your culture that was accepted as truth thousands of years ago by ignorant people and that the masses are still blindly accepting as truth today. You cannot be truly free until you reject all externals that would control you. And what have they concocted to use as an instrument to control you? A “mind.” You can be freer than you’ve ever imagined if you can be freed from the machinations of that “geared up” mind that you mentioned.

So, about that “mind” that seems to be "lost at times" but then returns in high "gear" and starts generating thoughts that are likely too numerous to number. Ask first, “Why is that mind so valued by most?” It most certainly does not deserve to be valued, and the reason can be found by answering this question: “If the most primary of all thoughts generated by the 'mind' is inaccurate, how accurate could the rest of the thousands of thoughts per day be?”

And how is the most primary of all thoughts inaccurate? The primary thought deals with what you think you are, and since you are not what you think you are, how accurate can any of the other thoughts be which are generated by that “mind”?

The invitation is to understand how the body-mind-personality functions in order to understand how they prevent sustained happiness and stability. It is the body which provides the nervous system that is required for the consciousness to manifest. Once manifested, the body automatically performs its functions under the auspices of the brain. However, adult persons will soon begin to corrupt the newly-manifested consciousness with lies, programming, conditioning, and enculturation.

As the lies, programming, conditioning, and effects of enculturation are stored in memory, a “mind” begins to form and its influence begins to supersede that of the brain. For example: an adult might use alcohol in excess to try to cope with stress being generated by the machinations of the “mind.” The next morning, that person might feel awful and the brain might inspire him to say, "I'll never do that again"; however, later that evening—after the “mind” has been “back in gear,” as you say—the person might use alcohol in excess again, might have the same miserable result, but will continue in that cycle. The “mind” is superseding the brain in determining behavior.

So the body allows for the manifestation of the conscious-energy, the culture bastardizes that consciousness, and then the “mind” and personality become the forces that work in tandem to determine what persons do and how they feel. Here’s how that works: suppose the culture convinces a woman that she must marry in order to be happy. After she is pronounced “wife,” her “mind” convinces her that she is "different." Another seed of duality has been planted. She assumes a persona, a false role, and allows that to define her. As soon as a role (an ego-state) is assumed as an identity, ego-defense mechanisms are triggered and immediately elevate that persona’s status in her “mind.”

So the “mind” takes the personality to be real and the ego elevates that personality to super status. “Wife” almost instantaneously is elevated to “Super Wife.” And what must “Super Wife” have to exist and be happy? A “Super Husband.” Since both are illusions, “husband” will never be "super" consistently. Very soon, the honeymoon is over as “Super Wife” is disappointed time and again, not getting the attention deserved, the degree of respect deserved, or the reinforcement of her “Super” status which she wants all to recognize.

When “Husband” is "super" and meets those perceived needs or desires, wife is happy; when he fails, she is unhappy. Co-dependency at that point is in full bloom. Her mood is then determined by another person. She has empowered another person to determine how she feels, and both parties that are playing that game are nothing more than personas. The stage for co-dependency was set when the roles were assumed. The stage for chaos was also set because desires are met sometimes and not met at other times. The same happens with the male. “Super Husband” must have “Super Wife” to exist. If the super status level of his ego-state is not matched, he will be miserable.

And all unhappiness or depression or misery is generated from the interplay of the “mind” that “gears up” and that generates thoughts about how assumed personas deserve to be treated. Those thoughts convince persons to believe that their culturally-assigned roles/personas/multiple personalities are actual identifiers, so persons will defend themselves--the false self--to the end. That is how the “mind”/personality delusions work to foster belief in duality, and duality—in turn—functions like a cancer that produces more and more personas and more and more of the chaotic fluctuations between being happy and being unhappy. Eventually, the unhappiness dominates the entire relative existence because the “mind” cannot be stopped. So, what is the alternative? Realization, marked by the end of the mind-personality and the beginning of peaceful, AS IF living. Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued]