An Advaita forum focusing on Realisation, enlightenment, non-duality, Real Love, peace, freedom, Your original nature, abiding naturally, the Oneness, the Nothingness, and Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj.
As for Maharaj, you will find here some of his early pointers for beginners but some of his later pointers that are for seekers father along the "path." During his last years, he said of I AM THAT: "That book and whatever was expounded at that time was only relevant for that period. I am speaking differently today" and am "emphasizing different aspects." What he offered later differed considerably from his earlier talks, making clear that the pointers in I AM THAT will take you to the midpoint of "the race" but that his final talks point the way to "the finish line."
3.
REAL LOVE / false "love" (con.t)
F.: Yesterday, a discussion was offered of the two most predominant "virtual realities" in which the masses have lost ThemSelves, in which they have "replaced the real world with a simulated one":
The first "counterfeit world" that the masses have fabricated in their collective "mind" is "The World of Organized Religions" - their "World of 'Blind Faith'."
The second "insincere and artificial and simulated world" they "live" in - which is far more influential on their thoughts and words and actions on a daily basis - is "The Illusory World of Their 'Relationships'" which is really "The Land of Distortions and Deception and self-Deception."
The discussion will continue (1) in an effort to differentiate between that rare REAL LOVE and the prevalent phony "love" and (2) in an effort to address the toll that the latter takes on persons (guaranteeing - as noted yesterday - that, if you settle for anything false, you will lose YourSelf completely).
But do not be misled by the comment yesterday that "REAL LOVE brings nothing that is relative and takes nothing that is relative (though its awareness of Oneness is expressed in the relative act of sex when Reality is overlaid on the relative)."
When the relative act of sex happens alongside the manifestation of Real Love, the phenomenal act coincides with a noumenal awareness and results in a level of bliss that no one can ever experience unless both of those elements manifest, coincide, intersect, and merge simultaneously. Yet that can only happen post-Realization in the post-Awareness understanding of the first part of the following quotation from Maharaj:
"Love is knowing that I am Everything; wisdom is knowing that I am nothing."
So if Real Love happens only with the sense of Oneness, of Everything-ness, then Real Love is Everything as well. Nothing else is when the act happens while also understanding that Real Love = Everything = Oneness.
In that instant, you lose your self completely, do you not? So in that instant You Are never more in touch with YourSelf as well as in touch with the One and Same Self-ness of - not "your lover" but "Your Lover" (that is, "Love Manifested As 'Not Two' ").
Understand this and you understand that "ecstasy" - that perfect and total bliss - is actually the loss of your self / selves, allowing the Self alone to BE and to Witness Purely That Which Love Truly Is.
The Absolute is at that moment overlaid upon the relative so that a relative act then offers the opportunity for Absolute Bliss to manifest. That scenario - and that scenario alone - allows for the expression of Real Love and Oneness and Everything-ness to happen via a physical act ... the happening being just like the summative statement, "I AM THAT; I AM." How?
THAT awareness - which the Realized do not merely know but actually Are - will allow the relative expression of Real Love to be wholly and boundlessly bathed in Absoluteness to such a degree that there will manifest a realization of (and an experiencing of ) a harmonious happiness ... an unsurpassable bliss ... a transcendent joy that can only happen in a "not-two," Advaita manner. Meaning?
Meaning the bliss registers on both THAT level and on "this" level, so its force and passion and intensity are unequaled ... incomparable ... unparalleled. Such is the way it is when Real Love manifests and is allowed to flourish daily on a second-by-second basis.
Why, understanding the above, would anyone settle for less? Why would anyone settle for false "love" rather than continuing the "path" to Realization first and thereby providing an opportunity to find - that is, know - Real Love next? Why would anyone settle for "not-Love" once they know that Real Love is an option (if only they are willing to Realize and be Love, which can happen with or without a "partner")?
In the book "Casting Light on the Dark Side of Relationships" the results of a poll showing why men say they married was shared yesterday. Note that not one man in the thousands surveyed mentioned “love” among the top five reasons for marrying.
[In this regard, a man at a retreat had already revealed the high level of narcissism that was dominating his existence, and several of his machismo-based comments revealed that he saw his wife as little more than a facilitator of pleasure for him.
He bragged at one point, "I may not be the greatest husband, but I have never cheated on my wife." The reply: "Maybe you have never cheated on her, but that does not mean that you are not cheating her." He was most offended, but when the discussion of "True Love vs. phony love" was complete, he became uncharacteristically quiet.]
Next, the survey referenced above also provided the following as the top ten reasons that women gave when asked why they married:
#1: “I found a man with an established career”;
#2: “I found a man who could provide financial security”;
#3: “He showed self-assurance”;
#4: “He seemed honest”;
#5: “He had a clean appearance”;
#6: “He seemed intelligent and humorous”;
#7: “He had good manners and honored me, opened doors for me, and made me feel special”;
#8: “He is healthy and fit ... in good shape”;
#9: “He listened to me”;
and
#10: “He was handsome.”
Another more recent study in "Psychology Today" also confirmed that "a man’s earning power was the determining factor with women agreeing to marry."
As with the men, not one woman out of the thousands surveyed mentioned “love” anywhere among their top reasons for getting married, much less any mention of True Love; however, with so many women now earning income, more recent surveys are showing that men are mentioning the woman's earning power as a reason they proposed.
In the case of men and women, their stated motives and agendas block any effort to find The Authentic Self or to maintain authenticity if it is found. Such is presently the way of "the world of virtual reality" among the masses, but does that not beg the questions:
"If Maharaj's estimate that the number on the planet that are Realized and Fully Authentic is near infinitesimal, does that mean that you should not still seek Realization and Authenticity?"
and, similarly,
"If the number on the planet that know and delight in Real Love is near infinitesimal, does that mean that you should settle for less, that you should not still seek the Real, that you should settle for the commonplace (but false and corrosive) version of "love"? Does the rarity of Real Love that now prevails planet-wide mean that you should settle for the life-force-draining counterpart that is actually "not-Love"?
Interestingly, both men and women who admit that they did not marry "for Love" (or even for "love") rationalize by saying, "Okay, I married for the reasons stated, but I'm sure love will grow and will be there someday."
Yet what does the evidence show? How often do any facts support that belief? Between 50-60% will divorce, so Real Love did not manifest there, and if you know many psychotherapists who will share, you know this:
in addition to the thousands who divorce every day, larger and larger numbers of "still-marrieds" are entering into counseling - arguing and fighting and assuring that they will remain totally and completely miserable, depressed, and dejected; yet they stay together "for the children" or "for economic reasons" or "to save face - I don't want to be seen as a failure."
If another poll were conducted, and if totally honest answers were received, how many might admit that the internal toll of years of clinging to "false love" has far outweighed any of the fifteen "benefits" of marriage listed by men and women in the poll above?
Is it possible that you could find the courage to refuse to settle for less? Is it possible that you could be authentic enough to forgo even the greatest pleasures or "benefits" imaginable if you know or suspect those potential gratifications are based in something that is less than True Love?
Moreover, if you took that step, would You be showing respect to Your True Authentic Self? And even more importantly, from the view now held here, would You not also be showing True Love and respect to the Authentic True Self of the one that you would refuse to use for your own self-ish motives?
Realization made that the case here, though that mode of functioning was not being sought and was not - in the beginning - even wanted. Yet today, far more happiness exists in not using, in not abusing, in not being used, in not being abused. True Love preempts the possibility of any of those happening.
The Fully Realized will never take any action that would inspire anyone to behave in a way that places at risk their contact with Their Authentic Self.
With the exception of sociopaths, those who use others - or who allow others to use them - will pay a heavy toll within, each such occasion of exploitation being a cancer that manifests internally and that will never go away on its own.
Additionally, is it possible that those that accept having no "love" at all (that is, the ones that refuse to settle for "false love") might be more content with that circumstance if True Love is not available? The position of neutrality can apply to every facet of one's relative existence and will assure freedom and peace.
Stability and satisfaction come now in not playing the games, in not playing in the plays, in not playing at all, and in the refusal to settle for anything artificial that robs persons of their sense of peace and sense of fulfillment.
On the other hand, and speaking only for "floyd" who formerly played such games, nothing takes a greater relative toll than accepting "not-Love" as a compromise; via the realizations that came by way of those past experiences, it can be shared that, though it might take years before the toll is accessed, it will be accessed.
Finding REAL LOVE in an Unreal World can happen if one completes the seven steps that lead to Full Realization and to abidance as the Absolute ... and beyond.
Then, once Realized and having overlaid that Reality upon the relative existence, you will no longer emote but you will gain - or regain - Your ability to feel, and that is the prerequisite for feeling the Oneness, for feeling the Everything-ness, for feeling the bliss, for feeling the true ecstasy, and for feeling the Love ... the Real Love.
TOMORROW: AUTHENTICITY
Please enter the silence of contemplation.
The first "counterfeit world" that the masses have fabricated in their collective "mind" is "The World of Organized Religions" - their "World of 'Blind Faith'."
The second "insincere and artificial and simulated world" they "live" in - which is far more influential on their thoughts and words and actions on a daily basis - is "The Illusory World of Their 'Relationships'" which is really "The Land of Distortions and Deception and self-Deception."
The discussion will continue (1) in an effort to differentiate between that rare REAL LOVE and the prevalent phony "love" and (2) in an effort to address the toll that the latter takes on persons (guaranteeing - as noted yesterday - that, if you settle for anything false, you will lose YourSelf completely).
But do not be misled by the comment yesterday that "REAL LOVE brings nothing that is relative and takes nothing that is relative (though its awareness of Oneness is expressed in the relative act of sex when Reality is overlaid on the relative)."
When the relative act of sex happens alongside the manifestation of Real Love, the phenomenal act coincides with a noumenal awareness and results in a level of bliss that no one can ever experience unless both of those elements manifest, coincide, intersect, and merge simultaneously. Yet that can only happen post-Realization in the post-Awareness understanding of the first part of the following quotation from Maharaj:
"Love is knowing that I am Everything; wisdom is knowing that I am nothing."
So if Real Love happens only with the sense of Oneness, of Everything-ness, then Real Love is Everything as well. Nothing else is when the act happens while also understanding that Real Love = Everything = Oneness.
In that instant, you lose your self completely, do you not? So in that instant You Are never more in touch with YourSelf as well as in touch with the One and Same Self-ness of - not "your lover" but "Your Lover" (that is, "Love Manifested As 'Not Two' ").
Understand this and you understand that "ecstasy" - that perfect and total bliss - is actually the loss of your self / selves, allowing the Self alone to BE and to Witness Purely That Which Love Truly Is.
The Absolute is at that moment overlaid upon the relative so that a relative act then offers the opportunity for Absolute Bliss to manifest. That scenario - and that scenario alone - allows for the expression of Real Love and Oneness and Everything-ness to happen via a physical act ... the happening being just like the summative statement, "I AM THAT; I AM." How?
THAT awareness - which the Realized do not merely know but actually Are - will allow the relative expression of Real Love to be wholly and boundlessly bathed in Absoluteness to such a degree that there will manifest a realization of (and an experiencing of ) a harmonious happiness ... an unsurpassable bliss ... a transcendent joy that can only happen in a "not-two," Advaita manner. Meaning?
Meaning the bliss registers on both THAT level and on "this" level, so its force and passion and intensity are unequaled ... incomparable ... unparalleled. Such is the way it is when Real Love manifests and is allowed to flourish daily on a second-by-second basis.
Why, understanding the above, would anyone settle for less? Why would anyone settle for false "love" rather than continuing the "path" to Realization first and thereby providing an opportunity to find - that is, know - Real Love next? Why would anyone settle for "not-Love" once they know that Real Love is an option (if only they are willing to Realize and be Love, which can happen with or without a "partner")?
In the book "Casting Light on the Dark Side of Relationships" the results of a poll showing why men say they married was shared yesterday. Note that not one man in the thousands surveyed mentioned “love” among the top five reasons for marrying.
[In this regard, a man at a retreat had already revealed the high level of narcissism that was dominating his existence, and several of his machismo-based comments revealed that he saw his wife as little more than a facilitator of pleasure for him.
He bragged at one point, "I may not be the greatest husband, but I have never cheated on my wife." The reply: "Maybe you have never cheated on her, but that does not mean that you are not cheating her." He was most offended, but when the discussion of "True Love vs. phony love" was complete, he became uncharacteristically quiet.]
Next, the survey referenced above also provided the following as the top ten reasons that women gave when asked why they married:
#1: “I found a man with an established career”;
#2: “I found a man who could provide financial security”;
#3: “He showed self-assurance”;
#4: “He seemed honest”;
#5: “He had a clean appearance”;
#6: “He seemed intelligent and humorous”;
#7: “He had good manners and honored me, opened doors for me, and made me feel special”;
#8: “He is healthy and fit ... in good shape”;
#9: “He listened to me”;
and
#10: “He was handsome.”
Another more recent study in "Psychology Today" also confirmed that "a man’s earning power was the determining factor with women agreeing to marry."
As with the men, not one woman out of the thousands surveyed mentioned “love” anywhere among their top reasons for getting married, much less any mention of True Love; however, with so many women now earning income, more recent surveys are showing that men are mentioning the woman's earning power as a reason they proposed.
In the case of men and women, their stated motives and agendas block any effort to find The Authentic Self or to maintain authenticity if it is found. Such is presently the way of "the world of virtual reality" among the masses, but does that not beg the questions:
"If Maharaj's estimate that the number on the planet that are Realized and Fully Authentic is near infinitesimal, does that mean that you should not still seek Realization and Authenticity?"
and, similarly,
"If the number on the planet that know and delight in Real Love is near infinitesimal, does that mean that you should settle for less, that you should not still seek the Real, that you should settle for the commonplace (but false and corrosive) version of "love"? Does the rarity of Real Love that now prevails planet-wide mean that you should settle for the life-force-draining counterpart that is actually "not-Love"?
Interestingly, both men and women who admit that they did not marry "for Love" (or even for "love") rationalize by saying, "Okay, I married for the reasons stated, but I'm sure love will grow and will be there someday."
Yet what does the evidence show? How often do any facts support that belief? Between 50-60% will divorce, so Real Love did not manifest there, and if you know many psychotherapists who will share, you know this:
in addition to the thousands who divorce every day, larger and larger numbers of "still-marrieds" are entering into counseling - arguing and fighting and assuring that they will remain totally and completely miserable, depressed, and dejected; yet they stay together "for the children" or "for economic reasons" or "to save face - I don't want to be seen as a failure."
If another poll were conducted, and if totally honest answers were received, how many might admit that the internal toll of years of clinging to "false love" has far outweighed any of the fifteen "benefits" of marriage listed by men and women in the poll above?
Is it possible that you could find the courage to refuse to settle for less? Is it possible that you could be authentic enough to forgo even the greatest pleasures or "benefits" imaginable if you know or suspect those potential gratifications are based in something that is less than True Love?
Moreover, if you took that step, would You be showing respect to Your True Authentic Self? And even more importantly, from the view now held here, would You not also be showing True Love and respect to the Authentic True Self of the one that you would refuse to use for your own self-ish motives?
Realization made that the case here, though that mode of functioning was not being sought and was not - in the beginning - even wanted. Yet today, far more happiness exists in not using, in not abusing, in not being used, in not being abused. True Love preempts the possibility of any of those happening.
The Fully Realized will never take any action that would inspire anyone to behave in a way that places at risk their contact with Their Authentic Self.
With the exception of sociopaths, those who use others - or who allow others to use them - will pay a heavy toll within, each such occasion of exploitation being a cancer that manifests internally and that will never go away on its own.
Additionally, is it possible that those that accept having no "love" at all (that is, the ones that refuse to settle for "false love") might be more content with that circumstance if True Love is not available? The position of neutrality can apply to every facet of one's relative existence and will assure freedom and peace.
Stability and satisfaction come now in not playing the games, in not playing in the plays, in not playing at all, and in the refusal to settle for anything artificial that robs persons of their sense of peace and sense of fulfillment.
On the other hand, and speaking only for "floyd" who formerly played such games, nothing takes a greater relative toll than accepting "not-Love" as a compromise; via the realizations that came by way of those past experiences, it can be shared that, though it might take years before the toll is accessed, it will be accessed.
Finding REAL LOVE in an Unreal World can happen if one completes the seven steps that lead to Full Realization and to abidance as the Absolute ... and beyond.
Then, once Realized and having overlaid that Reality upon the relative existence, you will no longer emote but you will gain - or regain - Your ability to feel, and that is the prerequisite for feeling the Oneness, for feeling the Everything-ness, for feeling the bliss, for feeling the true ecstasy, and for feeling the Love ... the Real Love.
TOMORROW: AUTHENTICITY
Please enter the silence of contemplation.
