TRANSCENDENCE: Not “Death,” but the “Death” of Ego, the “Death” of False Identities, the “Death” of Misperceptions, Part Two

[Continued from 2 March 2007. If you did not read Part One, please scroll downward to read the March 2nd post first.]

FROM A SITE VISITOR: [Received 1 March 2007] Found your site recently. Some of your writings have helped more since my wife left than the so-called “pros” I went to and the so-called “support groups” but that old husband idea is still kicking my ass (pardon the French.) What you wrote today about being energy and not really being a husband is trying to tell me something but husband still feels very real right now and so does his pain. Any other tips?

F.: Why does such emotional pain accompany the forfeiture of roles that are not even real? Because they are mistaken as the “Self” when they are only the “self”—only false roles. Consider this also: efforts to forfeit attachment to that “husband” identity (and to forfeit attachment to all false identities) shall not happen if marked by whimpers. Those whimperings are the voices of delusion, generated from the “mind,” rooted in the corrupted consciousness, fearing loss, and desiring continuity for a false identity (or false identities). It has been pointed out repeatedly on this site that to be free of the effects of duality and the effects of Multiple Personality Disorder (DID), “the readiness is all.” When the readiness manifests, then the phony roles are forfeited in glad fashion.

Next, see another aspect regarding this suffering that is associated with the forfeiture of a false role: were the actual facts of your case to be known, it would be realized that “husband” has not been experiencing misery only since the departure of “wife.” “Husband” had plenty of misery when “wife” was still there, but denial and re-framing prevented an awareness of that then (and is preventing an awareness of that now). Even if that awareness were to surface, the “mind” would generate thoughts about “what could have been” or “what should have been” and about “what maybe can still be.” When distorted thinking and distorted perceptions typify the parties involved in any arrangement, the arrangement itself will also be distorted...guaranteed.

Distorted memory and misperceptions about “The Way It Is” or about “The Way It Was” are the scourge of Realization. The witnessing of lies as lies moves the process along toward an awareness of truth. But for now, “he” still has a hidden agenda, hidden even from self and certainly from Self. “He/husband” has wants and desires about “wife” and how she claims to feel or not feel about “husband.” “He” has fears. All of the other ego-states that are disappearing have agendas too. The effects are multi-faceted because the personality is multi-faceted.

Truth also be known, “husband” is not ready to die but he thinks that is happening. “Husbands-that-are-dying” arrive at this site or at satsanga with dependent and co-dependent agendas: “Make us a couple again; help ‘me’ last; or at least make 'me' happy. I still want it all.” But “he” seldom arrives with the only sane agenda: “Make me disappear (without physically killing me).” The transcended poet Whitman asked, “Has anyone supposed it lucky to be born?” Then he added, “I hasten to inform him or her, it is just as lucky to die, and I know it.” How did he know it, without having physically died? Via witnessing “his” own death: the death of ego…the death of the false “I”…the death of delusions…the death of misperceptions.

From those persons trapped in duality, the statement can be heard, “I cannot live with myself anymore.” More accurately, the statement could be, “I, the True Self, cannot live in peace or happiness with my false self—or false selves—anymore.” When one sees all of the false roles which he or she has played in a lifetime, and when he or she sees the toll exacted as a result of the playing of all those phony roles, then the roles will be forfeited gladly if sanity is restored.

When the readiness is there, those ego-states will dissolve not with a whimper, not with sadness for an old acquaintance lost, but will be waved “goodbye” to with laughter. When the Realization came in full, during those seconds before "floyd" disappeared once and from all, “he” saw how their lies had been perceived as truth for decades. And then he laughed a short laugh. A chuckle followed. Then long and hearty laughter came. After the laughs had lasted for some time, a state of exhaustion manifested after that exercise.

While reclining on a small couch, one arm fell to the right side and the left arm fell to the floor. There was no more physical movement, no sound was made. And then a quiet statement came forth, and it was the re-purified consciousness noting, “Oh…my….gosh. It was all a lie…just one lie after another. One deception after another. One false role after another. One long play with phony me on the phony stage, joined by phony actors making their welcomed entrances and their mourned exits. Oh…my…gosh.” And then, silence. And then, an overwhelming sense of peace as had never been known before…ever.

Recall an earlier pointer: Transcending the disappointments and chaos and misery and pain of this relative existence does not require a “physical death.” One definition of “die” is “to cease” or “to disappear.” Freedom from your illusory pain can come if you allow your ego to “die,” if you allow your false identities and role-playing to “die,” and if you allow your distorted misperceptions to “die.”

If the playing of the husband role on the stage of your relative existence must truly come to an end, let the role go. An actor in a Broadway production can play a role for so long that he starts identifying with the part. When the run ends, he can say, “Hey, what the heck—I had a good run.” Then, he walks out of the darkened theatre and into the light of the day and is snapped back into reality. Do the same. As "wife" takes her dramatic exit, witness an actress walking off the stage of your relative existence. See the curtain fall on that act. Then, leave the darkness behind. Walk out of “The Theater of the Lie,” walk into the light, and see the truth…see reality. Then, remember that whatever happens, or not, can be accepted. Stay with this pointer for now:

“…If you cling to the false identity of “husband,” you shall never find the True Self, so peace will never happen consistently. If you find the True Self, then “husbanding” or “not husbanding” can happen…but consistent peace will happen either way.”

Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued]

ARTICLES FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

The discussion of Transcendence will continue next week. (Out of town until Tuesday, guiding a group through the seven steps from the “I” to the Absolute.) You are invited to read both the article and the vision description that are available at the two sites below and then enter into the silence of contemplation.

http://www.floydhenderson.com/article2.htm

http://www.floydhenderson.com/article1.htm

TRANSCENDENCE: Not “Death,” but the “Death” of Ego, the “Death” of False Identities, the “Death” of Misperceptions, Part One

“…If you cling to the false identity of “husband,” you shall never find the True Self, so peace will never happen consistently. If you find the True Self, then “husbanding” or “not husbanding” can happen…and consistent peace will happen either way.”

FROM A SITE VISITOR: [Received 1 March 2007] Found your site recently. Some of your writings have helped more since my wife left than the so-called “pros” I went to and the so-called “support groups” but that old husband idea is still kicking my ass (pardon the French.) What you wrote today about being energy and not really being a husband is trying to tell me something but husband still feels very real right now and so does his pain. Any other tips?

F.: Yes, certain other “tips” can be offered. First, rest in the assurance that what you are discussing in your e-mail can be transcended. It is possible for you to reach a state of being that is beyond the so-called “material experiences” or “relative existence experiences” that are not being experienced by You at all but that are being imagined by your assumed, false identities to be real. (That is not intended to minimize the current relative pain that you're perceiving.) Many persons over the years have responded to that assurance with such retorts as, “How could something that I can actually feel not be real?” Well, amputees report that occasionally they can “feel an itch” in a missing foot, can “feel pain” in a missing leg, or can “feel their missing hand” grasping an object. Are those feelings real? No. Are they perceived to be 100% real? Yes. So it is with your imaginary ego-state of "husband" and what it perceives it is “feeling.”

Transcending the disappointments and chaos and misery and pain of this relative existence does not require a “physical death.” One definition of “to die” is “to cease” or “to disappear.” Using those definitions, understand that freedom from your illusory pain can come if you allow the ego to “die,” if you allow the false identities and role-playing to “die,” and if you allow the distorted misperceptions to “die.”

The following will seem cold to some persons, but it is the primary lesson that you must grasp at this point on your “journey” through this relative existence. Here is the primary pointer: if you cling to the false identity of “husband,” you shall never find the True Self, so peace will never happen consistently. If you find the True Self, then “husbanding” or “not husbanding” can happen…and consistent peace will happen either way. Understand that neither “husband” nor “True Self” has any form. Understand the unreality of one and the reality of the other and then ego, identities, and misperceptions shall be transcended.

“Husband” was a figment of someone’s imagination, a label dreamed up only about 800 years ago after 13.5 million years of “human-type experiences” happened without that false identity. You have bought into someone’s imagining and allowed someone else to assign that role to you. Ever since, that role has determined how you feel and think and behave.

Can you see the degree of influence that role assumption can have, especially when combined with a belief in the concept of “possession,” a concept that suggests that a woman can become “my wife” or that a man can become to a woman “her husband”? Belief in the concepts of “human possession” and “personal ownership” is so strong that in the U.S., 59% of all women killed and 41% of all men killed are murdered during breakups when personas believe that their possessions and their identities are being stolen or lost.

And all of that misery (and even murder) happens in defense of a formless mirage…a figment of imaginings generated by the programmed “mind.” How to be free of the effects of the programmed “mind”? Understand that the “mind” is the root of all illusion. How to be rid of the “mind”? It must be turned in on itself, so to speak, in order that all of its fallacious concepts can be seen to be untrue. (What actually happens is that some vestige of pure consciousness becomes aware of the condition of the corrupted consciousness and discards the content of the fictional “mind.”)

In that light of awareness, the “mind” is burned away like a skin cancer that is exposed to the light amplification of a laser; then, the belief in untruths is allowed to “die” (i.e., “to cease” or “to disappear”). Then the “pathway” to truth is cleared of the obstacles of deceit and can be followed step-by-step to Full Realization, to Full Liberation, to Full Freedom.

Again, is the solution to never marry? Of course not, but the only way to avoid your emotional intoxication and emotional pain is to accept that marriage might happen or might not, but in either case it must happen without the playing of phony roles and without the adoption of false identities, if peace is to be maintained.

By the way, the True Self, like the imaginary “husband,” is also formless. It is not “the True Witness” if you assume that Witness to be something with a form. More accurately, it is merely formless witnessing. Abandon the goal to preserve “husband” or to mourn the “death” of “husband” and make it a goal to find the True Self so that objective, pure witnessing can happen. That alone will free you of the effects of the emotional intoxication and the emotional hangovers that happen as false identities "come" and as false identities "go." Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued]

THERE IS NO DUALITY--THE UNICITY IS ALL THERE IS

FROM A SITE VISITOR: Thanx for sharing the story by Dennis Waite. That approach was effective.

F.: Agreed. The experiential approach is a highly-effective means by which the Teachings can be tranmitted. To reinforce the pointers, review the August ’06 entry, part of which included the following:

Understanding the unicity reveals that a pile of ashes, a pile of dust, you, a dog, a tree, a piano, and a plant are no different. All of those “seemingly different things” are one thing. Supposed differences perceived by the human eye and misunderstood as a result of warped “minds” are the result of varying vibrational frequencies only. Humanity’s (post-programming) propensity for misperceiving everything makes persons believe that differences are real rather than grasping the truth of the unity beyond the wrongly-perceived multiplicity.

H20 might temporarily manifest in the shape of this or that. Is a so-called cube really a cube because some humans labeled it as such, or is it just H20? Is a cloud a cloud because some humans labeled it as such, or is it just H20? Is a river really a river because some human labeled it as such, or is it just H20? Now, take that one step farther: are you “a man” or “a woman” because some human labeled you as such, or are You a quantity of energy that has as one attribute the ability to be aware of while temporarily manifested? Are you “a husband” or “a wife” because some human labeled you as such, or are You a quantity of energy that has as one attribute the ability to be aware of while temporarily manifested? Are you “an employer” or “an employee” because some human labeled you as such, or are You a quantity of energy that has as one attribute the ability to be aware of while temporarily manifested? Are you the elements that have temporarily combined into a space, or are You a quantity of energy that has as one attribute the ability to be aware of while temporarily manifested? Are you “bad” or “good” because some parent or some religious or spiritual expert labeled you as such, or are You a quantity of energy that has as one attribute the ability to be aware of while temporarily manifested? And ultimately, are You the consciousness that has manifested temporarily, or are You the Absolute? The book FROM THE I TO THE ABSOLUTE expands upon that explication. Please enter the silence of contemplation.
NOTE: Several months ago, after a five-year hiatus from receiving visitors and from accepting invitations to meet with groups and offer the non-duality teachings, the consciousness was moved to accept requests from several groups. In nearby cities, satsanga was arranged and nonduality sessions were offered which focused primarily on the nisarga yoga approach. That has led to inquiries into whether “the advaita vedanta retreats with floyd” will also be offered again. Information regarding the nonduality, Advaita Vedanta retreat opportunites that are available may now be found at http://advaitavedantaretreats.blogspot.com/ or by clicking on the link to the upper right.