EGO-STATES: Either The Invisible Drivers or The Former Hijackers or The Eventual Destroyers, Part Three

FROM A SITE VISITOR: So the whole problem really begins with ego, right? Sam (PS Thanks for the blog site.)

F.: The three most common possibilities, once an ego-state has been assumed, are (1) to allow it to unconsciously drive one through life, (2) to witness the ego-state that has hijacked you and discard it as an identity in order to be free or (3) to be willing to fight for the false identity and to either be destructive toward others (relatively speaking) or to eventually allow it to destroy you (relatively speaking). The false self always becomes intolerable, whether to those dealing with the one trapped in ego, to the one trapped in ego, or to both.

Persons become self-destructive when they are removed from knowing Who/What They Truly Are and when they are suffering as a result of being driven by the false self. Many often go with “Destruction Option #1” and literally try to destroy the self by suicide. Other persons go with "Destruction Option #2" and try to destroy the one thought to be attacking their false self. The third, less violent approach is to be rid of the identification with the ego-state (which is the Advaita approach) whereby the false self or selves are forfeited by the non-violent means of seeing all that you are not and then finding the True Self and knowing Who/What You Truly Are.

In the earlier example of a marriage that is ending, see how “Destruction Option #1” is manifesting as suicide is being threatened. Further, as pointed out in earlier posts, 59% of all women murdered in the U.S., and 41% of all men, are killed during the breakup of a relationship. (Consider: on average, more than 50% of all murders in the U.S. do not involve “dangerous strangers” but involve persons who have said “I love you” repeatedly.) In the U.S. and many other countries as well, the adoption of this one, single ego-state results in widespread murder and/or suicide.

The impact of a collapsing marriage is further exacerbated by the fact that persons, always in denial, are so shocked when that which will only happen to others happens to them. (The belief that it will only happen to others is based in the false image that each has formed of a partner and the false images that each partner is showing to the other.) With a divorce rate in the U.S. that has remained well above 50% for decades, the statistics show, and the facts are, that most who marry nowadays will go through a divorce. The discarding of all ego-states prior to facing that eventuality could reduce the national suicide-murder rate significantly.

Studies vary but show that 20-40% of all persons who go through a divorce will contemplate suicide, that the suicide rate among divorcing men is twice the national average, and that the suicide rate among divorcing men is 400% higher than among women. Though the statistics deal only with the relative existence, the fact is that assumption of ego-states can kill, yet persons who assume an ego-state to be a definition of who they are will have no willingness at all to forfeit that false identity. Hence, the low rate of Realization and the high rate of murder/suicide.

Why else does such destruction happen, in addition to the codependency and interdependency mentioned earlier? When one has assumed a false identity and is then forced to face the fact that the identity is false, then the “death of an ego-state” will feel so real that a person/persona will actually believe that it is she/he (and not just a role) that is dying. A man will truly take the least threatening posture in nature (namely, a woman walking away from him) as the most threatening posture in nature. That is why Advaita offers so many pointers aimed at seeing how body-mind-personality identification will guarantee distorted thinking and will prevent all logic and reason from manifesting.

The end of an ego-state can generate suffering to a degree that is so intense that persons often opt to end the body and mind and personality that have sustained the false identity by ending the manifestation of the consciousness. Realization would prevent the degree of emotional intoxication that surrounds the end of any ego-state. And again, the role-playing and the false images in a marriage can end without the marriage ending. The result could be quite liberating.

Next, Advaita's forewarnings about being driven by desires and fears are even most relevant when ego-states are ending. The clinging to false identities and beliefs and perceptions and images is always driven by desire or fear or both, and all desire and all fear will generate relative existence misery. If you understand the connection between (a) desires and fears and (b) ego-state assumption and (c) destructive conduct in the relative existence and (d) the fact that an ego-state can drive persons to shift almost instantly from the “I love you mode” to the “I have the right to kill you mode,” then you will understand why no more than 5% will ever likely Realize Fully. Here are the reasons why most will not Realize and why (among other factors) they will not be able to conduct themselves in a reasonable and logical and sane fashion in their “relationships”:

persons (the non-Realized) are driven by desires and fears; and

most persons desire (above all else and at any cost) to be loved; and

no two persons will ever define love in the same way; and

persons have expectations about how people who “love” them should behave; and

persons' ideas about what constitutes love will always vary from one person to the next; and

those ideas will assure variances in the expectations that personas have about the “right way to behave, if you love me”; and

expectations, which will never be met in the precise way desired, will always lead to disagreement and fighting; and

so many persons fear not finding love (or fear finding love and then losing it); or

so many persons find love and are certain they shall have it forever (in spite of statistics to the contrary) only to discover—like the woman in the story earlier—that they did not really have at all what they thought they had; and

persons are like the woman in the scenario earlier, trapped in her body-mind-persona and willing to do almost anything to preserve a false identity that is taken to be real; and

persons prefer to deny that the image presented by someone (and/or the image they have formulated in their “minds” of someone) is not real; and

persons prefer their status quo rather than to having to face “the loss of status”; and

persons are so convinced that the roles which they are playing are truly who they are that they will prefer to live a lie rather than seek the truth.

Therefore, most—as a result of their desires and fears and expectations—will never witness objectively. They will not see the lies that they are living unless forced to admit the truth. Even then, denial will usually dominate their every thought. Now, to "you":

1. Are you currently assuming an identity that you are "certain" will never end?

2. Are you "sure" that you will be exempt from ever having to try to process the loss of a role in a sane and resonable fashion so that you do not fall into the trap of emotional intoxication that accompanies the end of an ego-state?

3. Are you certain that there are no false identities that could be discarded right now?

4. Are you positive that there are no ego-states that are driving you or that are inspiring destructive tendencies (relatively speaking), or...

...have you witnessed every former ego-states that had been hijacking you and then gotten free of being influenced or driven by any false identity? The witnessing of all of the ego-states being assumed, and then seeing that they are false, is a starting point for the Advaita "journey" to Full Realization. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)

“MIND” and MEMORIES: When Nature’s “Assets” Become Warped into “Liabilities,” Part Nine

Psychiatrists and psychotherapists attempt to treat mental illnesses. Realization offers the treatment for personality disorders.

FROM A SITE VISITOR: Loved your expression “brain-flush”?! Now that resonates. I’ve been visiting your site off-and-on since the early days - you did a piece one time on the brain and mind and consciousness but I can’t find it in the search. Can you tell me how to find that and then tie it in with “brain-flush”? LOL Thanks.

[Continued from yesterday]

F.: So to differentiate between behavior that is driven by mental illness as opposed to that which is driven by programming and conditioning and enculturation, it must be understood that taking personas to be actual identities results in personality disorders which only look like insanity to the objective witness; nevertheless, personality disorders do block the cognitive functioning of the brain. Further, personality disorders block the natural and normal functioning of the brain and body far more often than do mental illnesses. The results of a study of global mental illness by the World Health Organization and Harvard Medical School, as reported in The Journal of the American Medical Association, reveal that from 1 to 5 percent of the populations of most of the countries surveyed had serious mental illness.

By contrast, estimates are that 99% of the earth’s population suffer from one or more personality disorders; thus, as Advaitin sages have taught for centuries, the relative existence problems of the planet are rooted in personality. Realization offers the opportunity to eliminate most of the problems of the planet since they are rooted in personality, not in mental illness. When diagnosable mental health problems reach a level of seriousness that is labeled “clinical,” then a mental illness exists and professional intervention and treatment are indicated. Advaita cannot treat such conditions; however, those mental illnesses are very different from personality disorders, and personality disorders can be addressed and eliminated via the understanding that is attainable by way of the Advaita teachings. Psychiatrists and psychotherapists attempt to treat mental illnesses. Realization offers the treatment for personality disorders.

Since personality disorders are far more common on planet earth than are mental illnesses, then a logical approach would involve this: when insane-type behavior is being observed, look first to determine if ...

This is an excerpt from the book
THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS “PEACE OF MIND”
(There Is Only Peace if You’re Out of Your Mind)

For information on the book, visit http://advaitavedantabooks.blogspot.com/

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Please enter the silence of contemplation. [To be continued] For additional information, click

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THE (RELATIVE) COSTS OF NON-REALIZATION, Part Two

FROM A SITE VISITOR: Why realize if "none of this is real" and if “no consciousness of anything” will exist in the Absolute?

[The continuation and conclusion of yesterday’s post]
F.: Failing to Realize, persons will assume multiple personalities and will play “The Reformer” and/or “The Helper” and/or “The Achiever/Performer” and/or “The Romanticist” and/or “The Analyst” and/or “The Loyalist” and/or “The Adventurer” and/or “The Boss” and/or “The Peacemaker/Sloth.” Additionally, most persons will unconsciously assume the role of “The Child” and be dominated by another or will play the role of “The Parent” and will try to dominate others. Eventually, most persons assume scores of other roles that further trap them in the personas-fears-desires trap.

As their imagined fears and unmet desires drive them toward more and more dissatisfaction or outright misery, many persons will suffer from panic attacks. Other will retreat into a trance-like state of unconsciousness and walk about as if in a dream, joining the ranks of those marching about in their death-in-life, zombie-style fashion. For many, their fears or their desires will drive them to accept magical beliefs about powers in other worlds that can protect them or that can be coaxed with prayers or gifts to intervene and thus fulfill their desires or wishes and help them escape the anxiety they experience as a result of their fears. For some, the level of anxiety will become almost unbearable, so they will use nicotine or other drugs to try to calm themselves. For those, their health will falter prematurely and their energy levels will dissipate.

Many will become numb in order to play out the rest of the manifestation while avoiding any sensations. Others will experience an overwhelming sensation of being trapped. That sensation among some persons can become so strong that they reach a point where the most outrageous conduct follows (even as their friends and family proclaim that “such behavior is not at all like him or her” or report that they “can’t imagine where such actions might have come from”).

Not having Realized—and therefore not knowing what does and what does not cycle—they will become trapped in the chaos of “relationship cycles.” In each of those relationship cycles, they will become caught up in the game of shifting from stranger to acquaintance to friend to lover to spouse/partner to enemy to mortal enemy. Experiencing a sense of being trapped in their relationships, many a person has developed a secret desire or hope that his or her partner might leave or even die, thinking that might finally provide some degree of freedom. In many cases, some persons actually murder a partner in order to “be free,” some kill themselves to “be free,” and some do both. (Annually in the U.S., over 1200 murder-suicides, resulting in an average of seven killings per day, occur among “relationship partners.” Nearly half of all who are murdered each year are killed by a partner during a breakup.)

Whereas only Full Realization can free persons from all of the above, they instead do all possible to block awareness and to dissociate even further from the True Self and from their illusory "world." Suicide can be the means that they use to self-destruct if they are not able to be freed of all their false selves, of their self-contempt, and of their self-hatred.

So, to your question:

First, you are correct about the fact that nothing in this relative is as it appears and the illusion really is all much ado about nothing. Secondly, you are also correct that there will be no one in the Absolute state to realize anything. So, indeed, why Realize? In light of the experiences above that personas undergo in the relative existence as a result of corrupted consciousness, the counter question is: why not Realize, if the manifestation is to continue for a period anyway? Please enter the silence of contemplation.