FROM A SITE VISITOR: [Referring to a title that was given to him by his employer and that was later taken away from him by his employer, a “loss” that is still interrupting his happiness years later]: I must say, I am much better off, but, no matter how hard "I" try, I really can't get over losing my district title. I know it's vain and all that. Yesterday, I went to a meeting. A lady got my old title, a title that has now been upgraded by the company…a title I would have, maybe should have, had. Floyd, I've tried rationalization; I've tried to think about all you have said. While I know I am hung up on the status of the title, my mind simply can't let it go.
F.: Freud saw rationalization as “a post-hoc ego-defense mechanism,” post hoc being a reasoning fallacy. Rationalization, therefore, is used when reason is not being used, when fallacious thoughts are rising from the fictional “mind,” when a false persona is trying to defend itself, and when the accompanying egotism is driving a person to defend his/her image.
No wonder your use of rationalization has provided no relief; to the contrary, it has extended the misery—as will the defense of any ego-state or false identity and as will the defense of egotism.
By justifying egotism, rationalization helps to protect a (false) sense of self-esteem and is closely tied to the “self-serving bias,” which is “the tendency to interpret success as inwardly achieved and to ascribe failure to outside factors.”
Thus, it can be seen, as in your case, that the “thought-life” and “mind-flow” among the non-Realized is always controlled by reasoning fallacies that inspire the assumption of undeserved credit and the erroneous assignment of blame to others.
If the above is understood, then it becomes clear (since you admit to having “tried rationalization”) that you suffered anxiety around the “loss”; that an ego-state (not “You”) was hurt or interfered with or threatened; that the ego tried to use a defense mechanism to protect its status or assuage the hurt; that you began to operate unconsciously around the event; that you are still operating unconsciously; that Reality is therefore distorted and falsified; and that the unhappiness and misery and suffering that accompany all of those conditions has manifested.
You are not insane. That is not your hindrance. You are highly intelligent and knowledgeable, but those have provided no end to the circumstances. Therefore, a full understanding of the Advaita teachings could provide an effective treatment for what really ails you.
A full understanding of the Advaita teachings could end your suffering; could correct your fallacious belief that you have experienced a “loss”; could show that it was an image, rather than “You,” that was hurt or interfered with or threatened; could end the use of an ego-defense mechanism; could eliminate unconscious functioning; could remove your current distorted perception concerning that event which your “mind” has magnified; and could end the recurring periods of unhappiness and misery and suffering.
Currently, the “mind” (the seat of all distortion and egotism) is driving you to bemoan the loss of a title and to be miserable about it rather than to be at peace. Once again, a “mind”-inspired piece of fiction about "titles" has generated a sense of misery which has continued for years after a false title/persona ended.
So it is, in the realm of the relative. How influential is distortion around the loss of titles in the relative existence? So influential that 59% of the women killed in the
The titles that they think they have lost will plague the non-Realized with a relative existence that is marked by limited periods of happiness which are frequently interrupted with irritability, misery, or discontentment.
If you are visiting this site and can admit that happiness and joy and freedom are not the typically markers of your relative existence, list the titles that you think you have lost. How many of those perceived “losses” are thwarting your efforts to be free and happy and joyous?
An objective review will reveal to the sane that all of their suffering and misery is rooted in a belief in titles, personas, false identities, ego-states, and false roles. Please enter the silence of contemplation.
TOMORROW: Responses to the many questions submitted by Raja who has recently been introduced to some of the Advaita Teachings.
For more information on books that address all of the seven levels of the “journey” offered via the Advaita Teachings or that discuss in detail each of the seven steps, visit:
http://floydhenderson.com/nothingness.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/consiousnessawareness.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/iamabsolute.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/theessence.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/whenidie.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/liberation.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/peaceofmind.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/spiritualsobriety.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/bullshit.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/twicestolen1.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/twicestolen2.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/spiritjourney.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/twelvestep.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/castinglight.htm
http://floydhenderson.com/boardofdirectors.htm
