Monday, June 04, 2007

SOCIOPATHS (PSYCHOPATHS), NARCISSISTS, ADDICTS AND THE NON-REALIZED, Part Eight

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[NOTICE: out-of-town from June 5th-June 7th to share the non-duality teachings with a group. This series will continue June 8th. In the meantime, please click on a month to the right and visit the archives in order to find postings that you have not yet read.]

F.: The Realized Advaitin who can guide others through the steps to Realization begins the process by moving protégés beyond body-mind-personality identification. It is the adoption of personas and the formation of personality (as a result of trying to adapt to a dysfunctional environment during childhood) that is the root of all of the personality disorders being discussed in this series. For sanity and reason to rule, personality must go. Hence this series of exposés on personality disorders, dealing especially with those that generate the very traits and behaviors that must be eliminated if Full Realization is to happen.

Yesterday, one example was offered that illustrates the fine line that narcissists can cross into sociopathy. A second example of the narcissist-sociopath connection involves a female narcissist whose case study is offered in the book CASTING LIGHT ON THE DARK SIDE OF RELATIONSHIPS. Since 1989, sessions have been conducted with thousands who were seeking peace and who came with a willingness to discuss the effects of personality and to find a path that could eliminate personas and thereby bring peace and harmony to their relative existence. The report in CASTING LIGHT focuses on one who claimed to be willing but whose ego blocked any possibility of realizing the presence of personality defects and personality disorders.

The woman in that case study described herself as “a highly devout, life-long Christian.” She is also a narcissistic Personality Type Three, employed in a highly-visible position in a church (fulfilling the need that narcissists have for an audience and for regular reinforcement of their image). She admitted that she had “prayed every day for a year that God would kill her husband.” When asked how being “a highly devout, life-long Christian” was compatible with soliciting her God to be the hitman in her murder plot, she said that she was “really a good person at heart” and "loved everyone, except for her husband" and that she “had asked God to let the husband die when alone in his car and in a one-car accident, maybe by striking a bridge or a tree, so no one else would be hurt.”
Did the husband know how she felt? Yes. She had shared with him that she had been praying every day for a year that he would die. She also admitted that she had been "ripping men to shreds" all of her life. Yet her self-image is of someone who "loves everyone" (except for one person) and who is otherwise "good at heart."
How well do her narcissistic skills allow her to cover such ruthlessness in private while maintaining an image of being so loving and kind at work? She reported that “the church members see her as ‘a saint’.” Narcissists are that adept at fostering a counterfeit appearance, at maintaining a false image, and at fooling the masses. Moreover, they actually believe in their image, and she was convinced that she is "really a good person at heart" and is "caring about people in general" (as evidenced by the fact that she did not want anyone else to be harmed in a wished-for and prayed-for fatal accident).

That example and the one offered yesterday both show that sociopathic tendencies can be very close to the surface among narcissists and that the lines separating narcissistic and sociopathic behavior can, at times, be crossed very easily. Both examples show how narcissists can behave as violently as murderous sociopaths. Remember the pointer offered early on in this series: the narcissist is not the harmless rope that, at first glance, was mistaken to be a deadly snake. The narcissist is the deadly snake that, at first glance, was taken to be a harmless rope.

In that regard, this is the description offered by The Enneagram Institute of Personality Type Threes (who are often narcissists) when they reach the lower levels of psychic health: They “become vindictive, attempting to ruin others' happiness. Relentless, obsessive about destroying whatever reminds them of their own shortcomings and failures. Psychopathic, [capable of] murder. Generally corresponds to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.” Note once again the linkage, this time offered by the researchers at The Instutute: “psychopathic” & “capable of murder” & “Narcissistic Personality Disorder.”

However, if narcissists were to read all of the postings in this series, they would not likely be able to relate to any of the content at all. And if you think that you are “in love” with a narcissist, you might not be able to see the traits in him/her, either. People can live with a narcissist for decades and never believe that such traits and behaviors reported herein could apply to "their beloved" (saying, "Well everybody has some faults that must be overlooked"). And they can remain in denial right up to the point that they actually experience the truth first hand. That is how smooth and charming and charismatic the narcissistic can be.

Again, the Advaitin pointer is that the adoption of personas and the formation of personality is at the root of all of the personality disorders being discussed in this series. For sanity and reason to rule, personality must go. For many, the seven-step “path” to Realization could eliminate personality and the defects and disorders that mar the relative existence for so many persons; however, few will ever undertake the "journey" and fewer still will ever follow the "path" to the end and be completely free. So it is. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
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