F.: A corporation with an owner who is traveling the path toward Realization has booked a seminar at the end of November and another in mid-December. The seminars will focus on guiding the members of his staff to end all identification with “The Child” ego-state and “The Parent” ego-state in order to allow “adult-level functioning” to manifest in the workplace.
The conditions that exist there—and in almost every business and home on earth—are marked by the continuing belief by adults in the dualities that they were taught as children. Those dualistic beliefs dominate the thoughts and words of adult-aged persons and perpetuate childish behavior among most of the adult-aged persons on the planet.
The first duality that most children hear is the “No!” vs. “Yes” pairing. Very few instances of hearing “No!” are required in order to program and condition a child, especially if the “No” is ignored by the child and if punishment follows.
The second duality soon manifests: children experience “desire” while trying to avoid or process “fear,” leading to the third duality of “wanting vs. not wanting.” They experience a fourth duality, namely, the desire to "gain" or to be "rewarded" vs. the desire to avoid “loss” or “punishment.” Ultimately, they are programmed with the message that all of the above is dependent on their being “good” and not being “bad.”
By that point, a belief in the five earliest dualities is in place, and those five dualistic pairs will dominate and control the entire relative existence of most persons. They will lose all ability to make independent choices while believing that they are choosing what they think and say and do.
Eventually, those persons who were programmed and conditioned with dualistic teachings as children become obsessive adults, behaving compulsively in their efforts to do all required to always hear “Yes” and to never hear “No”; becoming fanatical in their efforts to have all of their desires met while wanting to avoid all that they fear; and being fixated in their efforts to accumulate all that they “want” and to avoid everything that they “don’t want.”
However, since the relative existence is an existence of inevitable change, the stage is set for happiness to happen when “Yes” is heard but for disappointment and/or anger and/or misery to happen when “No” is heard. The stage is set for happiness to happen when desires are met but for disappointment and/or anger and/or misery to happen when that which is feared comes about.
The stage is set for happiness to happen when the message that one is “good” is received but for disappointment and/or anger and/or misery to happen when the message that one is “bad” is received. The stage is set for happiness to happen when a supposed “reward” is gained but for disappointment and/or anger and/or misery to happen when “loss” or “punishment” comes about.
And the stage on which all of that is being played out is a stage in “The Theater of the Lie” where the “The Play of the Personas” is acted out with daily performances that are completely childish, no matter the age of the actors.
On that stage, periods of happiness and misery are inevitable since that play is a play of every-changing mirages and illusions, of believing lies and then seeing a flash of reality, of thinking you knew “the character of someone,” only to find out you didn’t have the slightest clue about what was really behind the mask.
The relative is marked by change and volatility, yet persons erroneously believe that stability and continuity can happen in a relative existence (and in a post-relative existence as well).
When happenings fluctuate between what persons take to be happy events vs. what they consider to be disappointing or anger-inspiring or misery-producing events, the latter events trigger dualistically “negative” memories that date back to the earliest years of childhood.
At that point, “The Child” persona is triggered and, no matter the age of an adult, childish thoughts will manifest, childish words will be employed, and childish conduct will follow.
Thus, another Advaita pointer is affirmed by observable example: that which makes you happy will eventually make you miserable, and that which makes you most happy will eventually make you most miserable. As an exercise that might reveal the impact of such dualities on your existence so far, list all the things that once “made you happy” but that eventually “made you miserable.”
List also the instances when someone has told you “No” and then describe the emotional reactions that followed; the instances when you felt you “lost” something, and the emotional intoxication that followed; the instances when punishments or consequences happened and the emotions that followed; the instances when you got something you wanted and the emotions around that; and, finally, the instances when you did not get what you wanted and the emotional intoxication that followed.
If you are able to touch the degree to which belief in dualities has marred your relative existence, then you might understand why the Advaitin teacher will suggest that all misery and suffering and chaos is rooted in the belief in duality.
If you accept the accuracy of that pointer, then you might be inspired to complete the entire "journey" to Full Realization...a "journey" which (if completed) can strip away your belief in dualities and thereby end the suffering and misery and chaos that are rooted in childish, childhood teachings. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
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