F.: Desires are alway obstacles to peace and can cause persons to fixate in “The Parent” or “The Child” roles, or both. “Parent”-types desire power and control, and “The Child”-types are frustrated because they have no power or control but desire both.
Thus, it can be seen again that the master addiction among humans is the desire to control. The secondary addiction is the desire to have power (worldly and supernatural) in order to control.
In their efforts to control, “Parent”-types will exert all necessary force in order to try to control. Examples include the domineering spouse or mate; the abusive, controlling boss; and the politician who orders the dropping of bombs on those who do not behave as he prefers.
The desire to have power and the desire to control trap adult-aged persons in “The Parent” ego-state. Dependencies trap adult-aged persons in “The Child” ego-state.
Many adult-aged persons accept being treated like children by those playing “The Parent.” What cultural institutions encourage tolerance for such treatment? Organized religion (with its “He’s the Father and you’re the child” teachings) will certainly foster dependence and childish thinking, speaking, and behaving.
Many groups use an arm-chair version of psychology that encourages new members to substitute what they were dependent on with a new dependency on what the current members are now dependent on. Afterwards, the older members “Parent” the newer ones, dictating exactly what those in "The Child" role can and cannot do. In fact, almost all institutions and groups and businesses and relationships operate within a hierarchical structure that encourages parent and child role-playing.
Why does the assumption of these two roles guarantee conflict? “The Parent” and “The Child” both want power and control; however, since all non-Realized persons are being driven by “Parent” and “Child” influences, conflict is the unavoidable outcome. Persons trapped in these two ego-states will be in a constant battle as they all work to gain power and then try to use it to control people and events.
At the recent retreat, one adult-aged male who had been abused by Christians for a thirteen-year period during his childhood is now trapped in a desire to change all Christians. All of the adult-aged years of his relative existence have been marked by conflict that is driven by his desire to reform “them.”
He was shown that “The Parent” wants to be able to control them and change their thoughts and words and actions. Simultaneously, “The Child” role he is playing wants to argue and fight to that end.
Nothing shook his resolve until he was asked if he was familiar with Pavlov’s experiment involving the conditioning of dogs. He was. Asked if he would try to draw a few parallels, he agreed to try. The exchange went as follows:
F.: Were Pavlov’s dogs conditioned to believe that meat was forthcoming?
Participant: Yes.
F.: Were the Christians who abused you conditioned to believe what they believe?
P.: Yes.
F.: Do you think their behavior was insane?
P.: Damn straight.
F.: Would you like to change them?
P.: You bet.
F.: Do you think you can?
P.: Maybe. Maybe at least a few of them.
F.: So you’re likely to continue to confront them and try to “shake some sense into them”?
P.: Probably.
F.: So you are basically saying that it is your belief that you could approach Pavlov’s dogs after they had been subjected to conditioning; that you could grab them by their ears and look them in their eyes and start shaking them; and that you could then change their “minds” by fighting with them as you yell, “Stop with all the damn salivating! That’s the sound of a bell that’s driving you, not the smell of meat! How stupid can you dogs be?! How insane can you be?!” Now, in that scenario, which one—you or the dogs—would be behaving more insanely?
[Silence...then…]
P.: Whoa.
The task of de-programming or de-conditioning is a formidable one. That is why Maharaj said that only 1 in 100,000 will ever Realize; that is why he later revised his estimate to 1 in 1,000,000; and that is why he ultimately predicted that only 1 in 10,000,000 will be freed from the effects of their programming and conditioning and thereafter awaken to the truth.
Most persons on the planet will be driven for the entirety of their relative existence as blindly and ignorantly as a Pavlovian dog. The U.S. Census Bureau reports that the median age in the U.S. is 35.3 years. Physically? Maybe so. Developmentally? 6-12 years old would be more realistic, considering the frequency with which “The Child” controls thoughts, words, and deeds.
Once one sees the degree to which programming and conditioning can dominant the thoughts, words, and actions of the non-Realized, it should be clear why no widespread, wholesale change among persons can happen; therefore, billions on the planet will continue to operate from “The Parent” ego-state and “The Child” ego-state. So it is.
But what about you? Are you awakening to the fact that much of what you have thought and said in your life was a mere replaying of parental tapes? Are you aware that most of what you have felt in your life was a mere replaying of childish/childhood tapes? Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
IN STOCK AND READY TO SHIP: The latest release, the third book in the “Advanced Seekers Trilogy,” FROM THE ABSOLUTE TO THE NOTHINGNESS ($16.99+ S&H). To order, go to http://floydhenderson.com/order.htm , complete all of the information, and in the “Special Message” box, type in FROM THE ABSOLUTE TO THE NOTHINGNESS.
AN OVERVIEW:
Thus, it can be seen again that the master addiction among humans is the desire to control. The secondary addiction is the desire to have power (worldly and supernatural) in order to control.
In their efforts to control, “Parent”-types will exert all necessary force in order to try to control. Examples include the domineering spouse or mate; the abusive, controlling boss; and the politician who orders the dropping of bombs on those who do not behave as he prefers.
The desire to have power and the desire to control trap adult-aged persons in “The Parent” ego-state. Dependencies trap adult-aged persons in “The Child” ego-state.
Many adult-aged persons accept being treated like children by those playing “The Parent.” What cultural institutions encourage tolerance for such treatment? Organized religion (with its “He’s the Father and you’re the child” teachings) will certainly foster dependence and childish thinking, speaking, and behaving.
Many groups use an arm-chair version of psychology that encourages new members to substitute what they were dependent on with a new dependency on what the current members are now dependent on. Afterwards, the older members “Parent” the newer ones, dictating exactly what those in "The Child" role can and cannot do. In fact, almost all institutions and groups and businesses and relationships operate within a hierarchical structure that encourages parent and child role-playing.
Why does the assumption of these two roles guarantee conflict? “The Parent” and “The Child” both want power and control; however, since all non-Realized persons are being driven by “Parent” and “Child” influences, conflict is the unavoidable outcome. Persons trapped in these two ego-states will be in a constant battle as they all work to gain power and then try to use it to control people and events.
At the recent retreat, one adult-aged male who had been abused by Christians for a thirteen-year period during his childhood is now trapped in a desire to change all Christians. All of the adult-aged years of his relative existence have been marked by conflict that is driven by his desire to reform “them.”
He was shown that “The Parent” wants to be able to control them and change their thoughts and words and actions. Simultaneously, “The Child” role he is playing wants to argue and fight to that end.
Nothing shook his resolve until he was asked if he was familiar with Pavlov’s experiment involving the conditioning of dogs. He was. Asked if he would try to draw a few parallels, he agreed to try. The exchange went as follows:
F.: Were Pavlov’s dogs conditioned to believe that meat was forthcoming?
Participant: Yes.
F.: Were the Christians who abused you conditioned to believe what they believe?
P.: Yes.
F.: Do you think their behavior was insane?
P.: Damn straight.
F.: Would you like to change them?
P.: You bet.
F.: Do you think you can?
P.: Maybe. Maybe at least a few of them.
F.: So you’re likely to continue to confront them and try to “shake some sense into them”?
P.: Probably.
F.: So you are basically saying that it is your belief that you could approach Pavlov’s dogs after they had been subjected to conditioning; that you could grab them by their ears and look them in their eyes and start shaking them; and that you could then change their “minds” by fighting with them as you yell, “Stop with all the damn salivating! That’s the sound of a bell that’s driving you, not the smell of meat! How stupid can you dogs be?! How insane can you be?!” Now, in that scenario, which one—you or the dogs—would be behaving more insanely?
[Silence...then…]
P.: Whoa.
The task of de-programming or de-conditioning is a formidable one. That is why Maharaj said that only 1 in 100,000 will ever Realize; that is why he later revised his estimate to 1 in 1,000,000; and that is why he ultimately predicted that only 1 in 10,000,000 will be freed from the effects of their programming and conditioning and thereafter awaken to the truth.
Most persons on the planet will be driven for the entirety of their relative existence as blindly and ignorantly as a Pavlovian dog. The U.S. Census Bureau reports that the median age in the U.S. is 35.3 years. Physically? Maybe so. Developmentally? 6-12 years old would be more realistic, considering the frequency with which “The Child” controls thoughts, words, and deeds.
Once one sees the degree to which programming and conditioning can dominant the thoughts, words, and actions of the non-Realized, it should be clear why no widespread, wholesale change among persons can happen; therefore, billions on the planet will continue to operate from “The Parent” ego-state and “The Child” ego-state. So it is.
But what about you? Are you awakening to the fact that much of what you have thought and said in your life was a mere replaying of parental tapes? Are you aware that most of what you have felt in your life was a mere replaying of childish/childhood tapes? Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)
IN STOCK AND READY TO SHIP: The latest release, the third book in the “Advanced Seekers Trilogy,” FROM THE ABSOLUTE TO THE NOTHINGNESS ($16.99+ S&H). To order, go to http://floydhenderson.com/order.htm , complete all of the information, and in the “Special Message” box, type in FROM THE ABSOLUTE TO THE NOTHINGNESS.
AN OVERVIEW:
The order in which the books are to be read and how to get them at a package rate:
Consider the Meditation CD, the Meditation Guides, Bullshit, and Spiritual Sobriety to be a “Beginner’s Package,” providing a foundation from which persons can begin to consider realities that are beyond the beliefs which they accept unquestioningly as a result of their enculturation. Used as a group, the works encourage inquiry (which is at the core of the Advaita approach) where questioning has not occurred before. [See MAKE YOUR OWN PACKAGE below.]
Consider Peace of Mind, Liberation, What Happens When I Die? and The Essence of the Teachings to be a “Mid-Level Seekers” Package, each guiding seekers beyond the false identification with body and mind and personality and explaining the basic terminology that must be understood before moving to the advanced teachings. [See MAKE YOUR OWN PACKAGE below.]
Consider From the I to the Absolute, Consciousness/Awareness, and From the Absolute to the Nothingness to be an “Advanced Seekers” Package. From the I to the Absolute can serve as a guide for earnest and capable seekers, putting the teachings into an orderly context that reveals the exact steps that must be taken in an exact order to move through all of the degrees of separation from belief in the false “I” to Realization. Consciousness/Awareness offers the next level of understanding, explaining that which is beyond the beingness and how happiness can manifest each day via the understanding. Finally, From the Absolute to the Nothingness will allow earnest and capable seekers to understand the state that is even prior to beingness and non-beingness, even prior to the Absolute. The seeker who understands the content of this book will realize how it is that—from a state of non-existence or nothingness—everything in this universe (and all universes) came to be. [See MAKE YOUR OWN PACKAGE below.]
MAKE YOUR OWN PACKAGE (FOR A LIMITED TIME): 10% OFF if two books are ordered at the same time; 15% OFF if three books are ordered at the same time; 20% OFF if four or more books are ordered at the same time. Visit http://www.floydhenderson.com/
Consider the Meditation CD, the Meditation Guides, Bullshit, and Spiritual Sobriety to be a “Beginner’s Package,” providing a foundation from which persons can begin to consider realities that are beyond the beliefs which they accept unquestioningly as a result of their enculturation. Used as a group, the works encourage inquiry (which is at the core of the Advaita approach) where questioning has not occurred before. [See MAKE YOUR OWN PACKAGE below.]
Consider Peace of Mind, Liberation, What Happens When I Die? and The Essence of the Teachings to be a “Mid-Level Seekers” Package, each guiding seekers beyond the false identification with body and mind and personality and explaining the basic terminology that must be understood before moving to the advanced teachings. [See MAKE YOUR OWN PACKAGE below.]
Consider From the I to the Absolute, Consciousness/Awareness, and From the Absolute to the Nothingness to be an “Advanced Seekers” Package. From the I to the Absolute can serve as a guide for earnest and capable seekers, putting the teachings into an orderly context that reveals the exact steps that must be taken in an exact order to move through all of the degrees of separation from belief in the false “I” to Realization. Consciousness/Awareness offers the next level of understanding, explaining that which is beyond the beingness and how happiness can manifest each day via the understanding. Finally, From the Absolute to the Nothingness will allow earnest and capable seekers to understand the state that is even prior to beingness and non-beingness, even prior to the Absolute. The seeker who understands the content of this book will realize how it is that—from a state of non-existence or nothingness—everything in this universe (and all universes) came to be. [See MAKE YOUR OWN PACKAGE below.]
MAKE YOUR OWN PACKAGE (FOR A LIMITED TIME): 10% OFF if two books are ordered at the same time; 15% OFF if three books are ordered at the same time; 20% OFF if four or more books are ordered at the same time. Visit http://www.floydhenderson.com/
