Monday, May 28, 2007

NARCISSISTS AND THE NON-REALIZED, Part One

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FROM A SITE VISITOR: Why would you attack Anglos-Saxons as being more narcissistic than anyone else? I think if you look around you’ll see that other races are causing more troubles on the planet than the Anglo-Saxons.

F.: The first suggestion to you is to find WHO wrote this e-mail. Obviously, some false self certainly took something personally and then tried to shift the focus to “other races.” Next, though the Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD) can now be seen to dominate persons of many races and cultures all across the planet, the pointer offered yesterday was that Anglo-Saxon nations have historically shown a higher rate of narcissism than others. Aryans have been attacking and pillaging and plundering and taking and using and abusing for tens of thousands of years, a "right" assumed by all narcissists.
Further, modern researchers (conducting psychological, personality, and/or enneagram studies on an international basis) have uncovered higher than usual rates of narcissism among four nations specifically that have traditionally had Aryan-majority populations. If you study the traits of those with the “Narcissistic Personality Disorder” and then study world history, you’ll see evidence of what those studies now confirm. Why should Aryans especially be aware of the findings?

Suppose you were a member of a family that has historically been prone to heart disease. The(relative) interest of your physical health would be served if you were made aware of the fact. Suppose you were a member of a race that has historically been the one that is most prone to suffering from sickle cell anemia. The (relative) interest of your physical health would be served if you were made aware of the fact. Then, suppose you were a member of a race that has historically been the one that is most prone to suffering from “The Narcissistic Personality Disorder.” The (relative) interest of your mental and emotional health would be served if you were made aware of that fact.
Yet the typical narcissist could read this entire series that begins today and relate to none of the description of a narcissist, so it's not really for them. Instead, the postings in this series might enlighten some readers who are only beginning to adopt some of the traits of NPD and inspire them to stop that process. It might also enlighten some just enough to inspire them to stop empowering the narcissists in their relative lives or in their cultures or in their nations, once it is seen how dramatically narcissists continue to impact the relative existence of most on the planet.

As for the writer of the e-mail above, to move beyond your resentment, focus not on a perceived attack on your race but on the Advaita pointer that was being offered: peace and narcissism cannot co-exist, and Realization cannot happen as long as a narcissistic personality is present. Forget “them” then or “them” now. Forget "this race" or "that race" and focus on this: What about “you,” right now? Which narcissistic behaviors are marking "your" relative existence?
There are several reasons why narcissism was mentioned on an Advaita site: (1) narcissism blocks Realization; (2) persons across the globe have been, and are being, dominated and abused and used by those with the NPD disorder…in their “personal relations”…in their nations…and on the international stage; (3) the Advaita philosophy deals with being free of false images while narcissism inspires the adoption and maintenance of false images/ego-states; (4) ego-states and narcissistic arrogance have historically generated most of the misery on the planet and still continue to do so; and (5) because the influence of narcissistic nations is being imposed more and more on a global basis, more and more narcissistic behaviors are manifesting since cultures with narcissistic populations are modeling that behavior which, in turn, is manifesting in many cultures across the planet.

Therefore, the relevance to the Advaita Teachings should be clear: if one personality disorder had to be named that, more than any other, prevents the Realization process from happening, it would be NPD. The topic for consideration today is, “Why would ‘The Narcissistic Personality Disorder,’ more than any other, prevent Realization?”

Consider the traits of the relative existence of narcissists (and of your relative existence if dealing with dominating narcissists) in contrast to the traits of the Realized who live in the peaceful, AS IF fashion that was discussed on 27 May 2007. See how pervasive and domineering (and often popular) narcissists are on the planet in their roles of political leaders, employers, power brokers, entertainers, and yes, spouses. Moreover, realize that you have dealt with narcissists and that you are dealing with them on a daily basis right now, an assertion that can be made with confidence since so many persons on the planet are exhibiting the traits of the disorder. So, to understand narcissists, note first that what you see is never what you get with narcissists. They are in a constant state of flux, working to maintain a kind image one day but later revealing a brutal inner core.
The narcissist is the one you have admired, the one who you found to be at least somewhat physically attractive per your culture’s standards, the one who inspired you and charmed you, the one who lifted you up when you were down, the one who convinced you to give him/her your vote, the one who convinced you that you had finally found "Mr. or Ms. Right," the one who shared her/his beliefs and concepts with such conviction that you adopted those beliefs and accepted them as “right.” The narcissist is the one that seemed to have it so “together” that you emulated or admired that person. The narcissist is the one that might have made you feel "in love" to some degree and also made you feel "loved" or "truly cared about" to some degree when in that person’s presence or when hearing that person speak on television.

But the narcissist is also the one who, at some point, turned on you, inexplicably. As a leader, he was eventually shown to be adept at spinning the truth or to be an outright liar. If you entered into a "personal relationship" or a work-related "relationship" with a narcissist, that person's facade eventually began to fall on occasion and revealed a person who was not charming at all but was seen to be a ruthless cutthroat whose tongue could be a most vile weapon. The narcissist was seen to be one who talked about beliefs but who did not adhere to them because social standards only apply to the other, "lesser" individuals in any society.
The narcissist is the one who will claim to be so dedicated to peace that he/she is willing to send you off to fight and to die for the peace that the narcissist claims to want. The narcissist is the one who can tout his/her religious or spiritual principles one day but can violate them all the next. The narcissist is the one who can justify the use of physical torture when dealing with those he takes to be "the enemy" or mental and emotional torture when dealing with a spouse or employee who is not meeting every demand or expectation. The narcissist is not the harmless rope that, at first glance, was mistaken to be a deadly snake. The narcissist is the deadly snake that, at first glance, was taken to be a harmless rope.
If you are seeking Realization but are adopting some of the narcissistic tendencies that will be discussed in the upcoming posts, they will have to be abandoned before any movement along the path to Realization can happen. If you are moving along the path with some hope that one or more full-blown narcissists affecting your relative existence might change, abandon that hope. It will not likely happen. For today, the invitation is to determine why narcissism blocks Realization. Begin by considering this: the Advaita Teachings offer a means by which one can escape entrapment in personality (that is, can be free of identifying with a persona or false self) in order to escape relative existence suffering and misery. For narcissists, generating suffering and misery is the very essence of their relative existence. Please enter the silence of contemplation. (To be continued)

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