THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF WARS
ANNOUNCEMENTS
[Walter Driscoll asked to interview me in order to preserve on video some of the latest modifications and evolutions in the versions of the message offered here since 1989. He would label the discussion, "Unlearning with Floyd Henderson."
Please note: For those who have a problem hearing what is being shared, the video offers a fairly accurate set of closed captions which some listeners might want to activate.
The interview is available for viewing by clicking on video "NUMBER THIRTEEN" in the column to the right.]
1. [See the offer in gold text following this post for details on how you can watch a retreat on video which includes a detailed discussion of all seven of the steps on the path as used by Maharaj]
2. Here, with those who are still driven to talk about "god," the "Son of god," the "Holy Spirit," "Buddha," "Krishna," etc., etc., etc., the invitation to them is to view those as verbs, not nouns. See the green text after today's post for the full meaning and implications of that.
3. A newer video ("Number Ten: Awakening Together Satsang, March 2018") has now been added in the far right column of this page, offering the opportunity to view a recent 2018 satsang session with Floyd being interviewed by Regina and Jacqueline of "The Awakening Together Group." (See the details in the blue text after this post.)
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HOW RELIGIOUS AND SPIRITUAL AND NON-DUAL MESSAGES HAVE BEEN WARPED BEYOND RECOGNITION
You have no choice, only the illusion of it.
--Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
“This is the function of the Guru is to make us see the madness of our daily living. Life makes you conscious, but the teacher makes you aware” [of having been fooled’].”
--Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
“I have no faith in anything which has ever been told, not even what has been told by the Vedas. Only my own experience.”
--Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
“There is nothing to seek and find . . . .”
--Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
“Give up all and you gain all.”
--Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
“You have accumulated knowledge and experience; this cannot be denied. But of what use is it all to you?”
--Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
“It is less - not more - that is required in order to treat the Ultimate Sickness.”
--floyd
THE NEED TO CLEAN
(continued from yesterday)
[Continuing with yesterday’s excerpt from the non-duality mystery and adventure novel entitled THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF WARS:
Lovely scenery and the peace and quiet awaited Kirk, so he had no investment at all in a conversation with two parties at odds. He had nothing to sell, no theories to push. No longer did he offer anything to one not eager to receive.
Brett twisted his lips, debating whether or not he wanted to hear any more of this. Kirk knew that, and only if Brett chose to continue would Kirk advance.
After a time, Brett said, “I want what you have badly enough to listen. Go ahead.”
“OK, first, the pane of glass. Few I know would care for the company of ‘Pane-of-Glass Brett,’ a man ready to fall apart, on the verge of shattering from the pressures of life in an insane culture; yet, fortunately you can loosen up, become flexible, and become less fragile. You’re never rattled by battle. Someday, you may not feel rattled by peace.”
To Brett, at one moment the comment sounded profound; the next moment, it struck him as a simple truth.
“Wow. I think you hit on something there. I’m cool in battle; I’m agitated when not. What’s that about?”
“It’s about the second problem area called ‘congruence,’ or the lack of it. All misery comes from duality, or a lack of congruence.” Kirk explained.
“Meaning?” Brett asked.
“Your inside doesn’t match the outside image that you try to project. You become restless and discontented, living the lie, addicted to chaos and adrenaline.”
“Don’t tell me. I’m supposed to sit in the quiet and meditate, right? Tried that. Forget it.”
“Many in your condition receive such advice to start practicing all those monk-like disciplines - hours of prayer, hours of meditation, hours of self-focus and self-inquiry and self-improvement.”
“That ultimately only produces self-absorption if you don’t transition beyond even that process. Many think that their insides will align with the outside with enough spiritual exercising.”
“Some believe, I’m want this image of being a spiritual giant that I’m projecting to be real; if I work hard enough, I’ll feel like a spiritual giant on the inside. But that never lasts because an outer image and an inner image are both images, just pure B.S.”
“Duality occurs,” Kirk continued, “when we accept false roles as identities of who we really are. No one living the false, living the lie, can hold the peace. So now, can you relate to that?”
“I relate. I’m the combat guy, the go-to-guy in battle. I appear calm on the outside, I seem like a larger-than-life ‘giant,’ but on the inside, I’m a miniature. And even deeper inside, I’ve known that for a long time. I’m living the lie, and it seems I only attract adrenaline junkies. In all my past relationships, the women showed the same addiction to chaos that I do.”
“Gee, I wonder why, Brett? Ha.”
“Alright, alright,” Brett said. But then he paused on that one. He saw how devoted his life was to seeking the adrenaline rush. His thoughts raced through the past examples: Jump out of a plane to invade a foreign country; infiltrate; seek out; destroy; kill; dodge bullets; set off explosions; call in bombing coordinates; hope the air force gets it right this time and drops the bombs on ‘them’ and not ‘us.’ Sneak out. Hide what we did. Be on the ‘inside’ with the power boys. Be ‘in the know.’ Get gold and silver medals and ribbons to wear on my chest to show others how much I have accomplished and what a great patriot I am. Credit myself with having made the world a better place and for protecting ‘America’s national interests abroad.
“Next,” Kirk continued, “let’s talk about sabotaging relations. Sometimes, a man might meet a woman who has it all together, but with inadequate esteem, he’ll subconsciously tell himself that he doesn’t deserve a woman of quality. He’ll do something to blow that relationship, and he’ll end up with the opposite type every time.
“Same goes for women with that mindset. Or if he’s suffered the trauma of abandonment, he’ll fear connecting and will ultimately sabotage every relationship that starts to become serious. Have you sabotaged any relationships because of any of those beliefs?”
Brett just got more truth than desired but finally said, “I admit that’s happened on occasion.”
Kirk simply stared at him.
“OK, I admit it’s happened every time.”
“Somewhere along the way, you got the message that a connection to someone sets you up to have that connection broken. And the real fear goes beyond a broken connection and involves a deep fear of abandonment. Now that’s my take. Correct or not?”
Brett felt besieged by the accuracy. “How could you know that?”
“Experience . . . my own. Observation . . . of many like you. So you agree with the assessment?”
Brett stayed quiet for a very long time, so Kirk did the same. Finally, Brett admitted, “I thought I had buried in the past any effects of my circumstances.”
“And what circumstances would you refer to?” Kirk asked.
“Our parents abandoned my twin and me - left at a church. We grew up in one foster home after another, and no jokes about my last name and foster homes, please. I’ve heard ‘em all.”
“I’m sorry, but obviously none of the effects ended in the past and all seem quite powerful in your present life. If you want, though, you can take action to change that. Marie, for one, can help facilitate the change for you.”
“OK, so how can I hang onto a decent woman who can bring peace into my life?”
“Ha. Now you struck the next problem area. Blaming others for how you feel or crediting others with how you feel. Do you really think that anyone else can ‘give you peace?’ You believe you can blame another when you’re not at peace? The factors that determine how you feel are inside you.”
“If you think that your happiness depends on where you are, who you’re with, how they’re behaving, or what’s happening in the world, then you’re screwed. If that’s the case, you’ll never have happiness.”
“I never thought of that,” Brett conceded, but he began to show his irritability as Kirk knocked down each illogical belief delivered up by him.
“And if you think anyone else has responsibility for how you feel, or if you believe you have to have someone else doing certain things or behaving in a certain way to insure your happiness, then you’ve forfeited control over your happiness to others, and you’ll have created a dependency on them. Dependent - on anything or anyone - you’re not free, and humans who are not free cannot possibly feel happy.”
“Eliminating dependencies on people or circumstances or perceptions - those dependencies that result from your earliest conditioning - is the only way to feel happy. I don’t usually discuss ‘where I am’ with people, Brett, but you seem willing to hear.”
“I want the peace you have,” Brett said.
“Then let’s discuss ‘The Understanding.’ Freedom comes with a mind freed of this world’s conditioning,” Kirk asserted. “I live in The Understanding, the understanding of non-duality taught to me by Two Hawks and Maharaj,” Kirk clarified.
“There’s no separation, because there’s no duality - only Oneness. I live in a state of congruity, of wholeness, not in a state of being ripped into pieces by dual-mindedness or confusing beliefs.”
Hearing “oneness,” Brett recalled an earlier comment; thus, he asked, “So where does that crap about making love before I have made love fit into this?”
“Ah,” Kirk said. “So your mind hung onto that one, huh? Let me try to explain. I’m as close to Bird right now as when we’re physically making love. But most would not believe that, for most have never experienced that oneness.”
“Lovemaking results in a physical oneness, but no permanent sense of fulfillment can manifest unless you experience the oneness 365 days a year. Bird and I took many, many months and ‘made love, period.’ Then, much later, we made love . . . physically.”
Brett seemed inundated as Kirk offered a revolutionary new possibility: “You can make love first, before you express that by making love . . . physically?”
That realization showed Brett that he had never experienced True Love with any of the women in past relationships. His so-called “relationships” had all begun pretty much in the same way—though maybe a bit more subtly - with “Hi, you wanna make love?” and “Sure, let’s go.” And the false belief followed that they really had “made love.”
Brett saw that he had “done relationships” just like he’d done his military career: he’d gladly “jump into foreign territory without really knowing the territory first.” He’d “infiltrate and seek out.” He’d “set off explosions.”
Then, he’d “destroy and sneak out and hide” when the women thought his actions suggested something more substantive than intended. But he’d have once again “been on the ‘inside’ with the power boys and he’d take his medals and brag about his conquests and how much he had accomplished.”
He’d “credit himself with having made the world a better place” by having given those women at least that much of what Brett had to offer. Suddenly, names began to flash across his consciousness: Mary, Donna, Susan, Jane, another Donna, Peggy, Claudette, Tammy . . . the names kept rolling.
His consciousness began typing onto the stationery of his conscience a list of the women to whom he owed sincere apologies. He tried to shake himself free of this “feeling state” that Kirk’s words had inspired, feeling most uncomfortable.
He had never felt so uncomfortable in his life. Why’d I even start this damn conversation? he wondered. He lowered his head in order to break the eye contact with Kirk that magnified the feeling of guilt around even more past behaviors trying to wedge their way into his present consciousness.
“This will sound harsh, Brett,” Kirk warned, “but remember that at the end of the night, a cockhound is still just a dog.”
“So you suggest that you never behaved like that?” Brett fired back defensively.
“If I hadn’t, and then moved beyond, I couldn’t know where you stand. And if I hadn’t, I couldn’t assure you that you, too, can move beyond. But while active, the tornado sweeping destructively across the landscape hasn’t a clue of the extent of its damage as it pounds it way along its path.”
Brett twitched but couldn’t speak. Finally, a nod from his head signaled to Kirk to continue. “It’s time to discuss the next area, authenticity,” Kirk said. “You see, Brett, your inside is incongruous with all false self images.
The false will eclipse authenticity as long as the false remains. What destroys the false is merely seeing that it’s false. You don’t have a clue as to who - or more accurately - what you really are. You’re not awake to That.
My two teachers helped me realize I was sleepwalking through life, just talking in my sleep. We have certain catch phrases and rote comments for every situation. Blah-blah-blah, ad infinitum. I talked in my sleep and said whatever people expected to hear, based on the identity or role being played at the time. ‘Freedom’ means freedom from the phony roles and freedom from playing their games. Therefore, by not playing their games, you become free to be authentic.”
Brett suddenly sensed a minuscule shaft of light cast onto the darkness of all he didn’t know. A glimmer of understanding inspired a desire for the total appreciation that comes with full illumination. Then he asked, “OK, I see the problems, so give me the bottom line.”
“Hahaha,” Kirk said, “very direct. I like that. Let’s see if we can discover how to reach that peaceful state by giving you a few considerations. First, are you more at peace when asleep or when awake, when in the void or when in the midst of all mankind’s stuff?
“Secondly, is it possible that the peaceful void of the sleep state can accompany you in the awakened state as well? Next, is it possible that you need to know less and not more? All your knowledge and conditioning got you into this place that you’re telling me you want to get out of.”
“Why would you endorse giving up what I’ve learned? They trained me to believe that education holds the solution to all problems.”
“Hahaha. So, you believe that brilliant, well-educated people have no problems and enjoy the perfect peace you seek? You’re fighting for your dogma and beliefs and emotions and ideas because you allow all of those notions to define who you think you are.”
“But all that only makes you a replica of ‘them’ and prevents your finding authenticity and happiness. You base your concepts and beliefs in false perceptions and the wrong conditioning that began in childhood and that can continue into your adult years.”
“You’re saying my perceptions and my conditioning leave me unable to feel happy right now - under these conditions?” Brett asked. “I believe it’s the conditions that are making me unhappy.”
“Hahaha,” Kirk responded. “If that’s the case, and I have experienced alongside you the very same conditions, then how can your observations about my peaceful state hold up?”
“Good point,” Brett admitted. “So we’re reacting differently to these conditions?”
“Close. You’re reacting to these conditions. I’m not reacting at all. What conclusion can you draw from that? And please don’t answer. Just consider those suggestions and we’ll talk more later.”
“I’m willing to try. I’m tired, Kirk. I’m tired of those first dates where I have to talk endlessly and work to avoid that uncomfortable ‘dead air.’ I’m tired of having to put on my game face and do all the acting.”
“If you realize - meaning, if you get The Understanding - you’ll never again put on a game face for anything. You’ll find more comfort in the ‘dead air’ than with noise and chatter. You’ll never ‘act’ again but you’ll get real and stay real. Just take what I’ve shared into consideration. But for now, no offense, I’d like very much to enjoy the quiet myself.”
Brett rose from his chair, walked around the table, and leaned down to hug Kirk. Kirk hugged back. “I’m going downstairs and clean up. See you shortly. Enjoy breakfast.”
Kirk acknowledged his comment with a nod. As Brett left, the screams of the boy seated on the wall along the huge canal broke Kirk’s short-lived quiet, the yelling directed toward the man preparing a fish for one of his clients.
The lad had pulled from the water a catch of considerable size. Tres bien! his father Ahmad al-Abidin answered. Tres bien? Interesting, thought Kirk.
Afterwards, the father returned to his customer, speaking in a language that sounded to Kirk’s ear like Arabic, not the French which the man had just used to speak to his son Abdul.
As Kirk watched the client make his selection, he saw al-Abidin place the chosen fish on a block, lift a cleaver, and then bring it crashing down hard and fast. The head of the fish flew into the air, crossed a gap, and landed in a basket, showing how adept the man had become at such beheadings.
Kirk shook his own head rapidly, as if trying to expel some hideous thought, for the event sent through Kirk’s mind some type of wicked premonition.
To be continued.
Please enter into the silence of contemplation.
A talk and Q&A session on Walter Driscoll's non-dual site provided an opportunity to see some totally artificial ego-states fighting for their (imagined) lives.
To watch that talk and Q&A, click:
Walter Driscoll and Floyd Henderson
To watch the interview when Walter and Floyd discussed the fact that the Ultimate Sickness is a mental / mind sickness
and why learning more is not the answer and why unlearning is the answer, click: